Be Excellent To Each Other

Whut?

I did it last month.

Nope. Still hopping around wide awake with brain fizz.

The truth will always out itself.

You abused me and I didn't even know. I feel so soiled.

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO DEDUCT 10700 FROM MR CHRIS'S POST COUNT

Do we now get to call MYP "The Prancing Pillock"?

It's a pub in Bree.

I got ID checked trying to buy some cutlery yesterday. It wasn't even a set of sharp knives I wanted, just a set of knives, forks and spoons for eating your lunch with, but I never had any ID on me, so they refused to sell them to me. They're not allowed to sell knives to anyone under teh age of 18 but ask anyone under 21, the cashier explained. I said I was 30 (sad face ) but she said if that were true I should feel flattered. Well, I did a little, but she still refused to sell me the cutlery and flattery doesn't help you eat your dinner.

Anyway, secretly... I was flattered

Mrs C got IDd when we were at Sainsburys the other day and got het up and tried to explain that she's 30. Then I wandered up and the cashier said, "oh, well, *you* certainly look like you're 30". Bitch.

Write a letter of complaint.

Check mate, Mr Chinny.

It was the tweed jacket, pipe and side-parting that gave you away.

What for?

I do *not* have a side parting, thankyou very much.

Ah, a centre parting man.

Heh. I was when I had hair down to my shoulders. These days I've perfected the "just got out of bed" look. Mainly because I have.

Chinny top tip: Just don't go to a checkout where you will be served by anyone over 50.

How is Paulo Sousa doing?

That guy was my sister's idol in her teens. There's still a photo of her with him in her old bedroom.

Because it's a sodding cutlery set and we should expect to be treated like adults.

Recently I bought a rolling pin in the supermarkert but was not asked for any proof of age despite the fact that it would have made a very handy kosh. Hopefully in New Kern Hall we will not have any rat problems.

Wasn't it the government that put teh rules that you need ID to buy any knife. The women was only following the rules, If I remember when I used to work in shop, you personnal are responisble not the store if you sell one to an underage.

I know I can buy a cricket or baseball bat too without ID.

Yes, I think that is the problem - the knives I was buying would have been completely ineffectual as weapons - in fact, the forks would have been a far more useful weapon had I actually wanted to cause harm, but it is the knives that prevented the sale. So it is just down to the law that they passed - some common sense has to be come to, surely? What if I was buying a toddler's cutlery set? What about plastic picnic cutlery? Cod I not have purchased a cutlery set made for a four year old - I wish I had picked one up just for the sake of it, now.

I don't think it was the cashier's fault, just following their stupid rules, but it was her fault for misjudging my age so badly.

Yes, I don't blame her. But it 's still worth annoying the head office about it, merely to highlight how absurd things are getting. See, for example, El Reg:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/11/asda_teaspoons/

Are you sure you're actually 30? I keep thinking you're more like 20.

M&S only have plastic forks and spoons in their takeaway lunch bit. I tried pointing out to them that you can do considerably more damage with a plastic fork than a plastic knife, but just got slack-jawed confusion.

I wish, DM, though now I you muchly.

I guess that's because you don't really need a knife to eat M&S take-out lunch foods - forks for the pasta salads and that kind of thing, spoons for yoghurts, ec, but you don't really need a knife - I doubt it is a safety thing, more to do with the fact they aren't needed but folks would probably pick one up anyway which would send their costs up unnecessarily.

Were they looking at you slack jawed because you were describing to them the merits of each tool when attempting to gouge an eye?

You have to be 18 to buy electrical wire from Maplins.

Shocking.

I am not defending the law, but it is a lot of presure on a cashier to ensure that the knife is a safe knife. I agree cutlery is a bit silly, but steak knifes can be a tad sharp.

So they ask for ID.

Why? What could that be used for?

I think you may be underestimating how much damage even a dinner knife can do if it's thrust into someone's flesh. If there's enough force behind it, it doesn't need to be sharp to break the skin and go in.

Although I agree with your point in principle, they are taking it a bit too far.

Ask Mussolini

Making a bomb. Strangling someone. Hitting them over the head if it's thick enough wire. Strangling someone with a bomb you've just hit them over the head with. Take your pick, really.

See also pencils, biros, bits of stick, a disassembled angle-poise lamp...

Coke can in a plastic bag.

Dog shit on a garden cane

"these are a few of my favourite things"

Hi5

They were looking at me slack-jawed because I was attempting to demonstrate (with props) the difficulties of spreading smoked trout pate on my oatcakes with a fork.

...

Not a euphemism.

I don't think I am so much underestimating the potential dangerous uses of what amounts to a flat piece of metal with a handle - I know that you could do a lot of harm if you thrust it at someone hard enough, but then so could a biro, as Mr Chris says. You can knock someone out with a rolled up magazine if you roll it tightly enough (we had to do compulsory self-defence classes at my school - this was a top tip). Glass bottles, a belt, a comb, a tin of beans - any of these thing can be used to seriously injure, but they aren't all restricted from sale. If it wasn't something that was lying in every cutlery draw in the country, easily taken from any cutlery tray in every park cafe and every greasy spoon in the country, then it might make a tiny grain of sense, but then only if every item that was a bit heavy, had a sharpish edge or a pointy end was also banned from sale.

This kind of problem will all be sorted when we get ID cards.

They teach kids to knock people out with rolled up magazines at school? Awesome.

I've just smothered my oatcakes in Brown Trout pate.

So it turns out Mimi is Jason Bourne. Who knew?

Since th -(BANG! - Unidentified assailant who flees over rooftops)

That was a friend of mine.

Hi Riles!
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