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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 13:45 
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Comfortably Dumb

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Satsuma wrote:
I watched another shit film.


Talking of which, Uwe Boll's 'Bloodrayne' was added to Amazon Prime today. I was tempted to give it a try, but the 2.9 IMDB score is a little off-putting.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 14:37 
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Grim... wrote:
Cras wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
Starship Trooper Review - For The Vision

It's awesome. Scores 1 on the Craster scale (possibly half?).


ZERO.

Look, just because it's a terrible moment in history doesn't mean it's not technically a star.

Plus Dizzy isn't the only one.

Dizzy was gorgeous, and scored a definite 1, you weirdos.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 14:40 
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I thought the Craster scale was a binary affair. Starship Troopers gets a 1, I gave it a 1 in my review. It gets a 1.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 14:50 
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It is. And it is. But it's just such a completely horrific 1 that Craster wants it to circle back to zero.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 14:54 
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By "horrific" we (meaning Craster) mean "A, possibly B cup size breasts" here, just to be clear?

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:03 
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No. They're like a potato in a rugby sock.

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:16 
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Obviously that post got deleted.

NSFW posts need to clearly marked, man.

Citation: I'm at work.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:16 
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DESTROYING THE EVIDENCE I SEE

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:16 
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It was spoilzzorred!

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:17 
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It's specifically called out in the rules:
Quote:
Any images, videos or articles which you (or others) may deem to be NSFW, must be posted as a link offsite with a clear warning. Please do not use the spoiler tag, as even if you do not open them your browser may store it in its cache. Many of our members post during office hours, so this must be followed or you could be landing people in hot water with their boss!

And it's perhaps the only rule I actually care about.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:20 
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Grim... wrote:
It's specifically called out in the rules:
Quote:
Any images, videos or articles which you (or others) may deem to be NSFW, must be posted as a link offsite with a clear warning. Please do not use the spoiler tag, as even if you do not open them your browser may store it in its cache. Many of our members post during office hours, so this must be followed or you could be landing people in hot water with their boss!

And it's perhaps the only rule I actually care about.

A likely story. It was BECAUSE IT PROVED YOU WRONG. WRONG WGONR GONFIOJGIOW

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:20 
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It really didn't.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:21 
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NSFW SPOILER LINK
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
https://cdn1.aznude.com/dinameyer/starshiptroopers/Meyer-Starship-HD-n-07.jpg

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:23 
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Looking through the pictures, the only things I can see that a Grim... or Craster may object to are (a) her breasts are small and (b) his are bigger than hers.

I just think it's a bit odd to describe regular shaped lady boobs as "horrific". It's times like this I feel a bit like Myp, only better looking and taller.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:24 
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Well we weren't, until you decided to have a discussion on the topic.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:26 
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Cras wrote:
Well we weren't, until you decided to have a discussion on the topic.

You weren't what? And you guys started it.
This is gaslighting, man.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:28 
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SavyGamer

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Do we have a thread somewhere where everyone has posted their workplace policy for internet images?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:40 
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MrChris wrote:
regular shaped

No.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:43 
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LewieP wrote:
Do we have a thread somewhere where everyone has posted their workplace policy for internet images?


We just follow Tumblr's:

https://twitter.com/bodleianlibs/status ... 3166553088




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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:48 
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Grim... wrote:
MrChris wrote:
regular shaped

No.

You are a weird man.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 15:56 
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Grim... wrote:
No. They're like a potato in a rugby sock.


Tatties like tatties!?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 22:53 
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Went to see ‘Stan and Ollie’ tonight. A very touching film about partnerships at the end of a career and the impossibility of moving on.

Both the stars inhabit their characters well and pull off the recreated routines. Not laugh a minute but has its moments.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 0:49 
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I've been to see the following recently.

The Favourite.
I'm going to be brutal here. If you've seen any Peter Greenaway movies in the 80s/90s he did this shit much better. It is supposed to be arthouse cinema (whatever the flying fuck that means), it is supposed to be history. It is nicely acted, it's too long. It isn't that funny.

Colette.
I'm warming to Ms Knightley's acting chops. Knew next to nothing about Colette and actually found the film quite tense as a human drama, particularly with her latter relationship with her husband. It's pretty good this, within it's field (i.e. about 2 of the members here might find it passable. Oh, I forgot the Craster scale. Make that 4)

Vice.
I'm sitting here a little squiffy as I needed a drink after watching this. It's bone chilling. The one thought that ran through my head while watching this this evening was "the banality of evil". I've heard 20 somethings describe this as funny and the marketing seems to be positioning it as a black comedy, which was what I was expecting. This just reminded me of how angry I was in the early noughties with regard to politics and how fucking explicable the mess we're in now is.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:06 
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Malc wrote:
Watched Polar last night on Netflix. Mads Mickelson plays a retiring hitman, about to claim his substantial pension. His boss (Matt Lucas) (don't let that put you off) decides it would be cheaper to kill him. So you end up with a film that's basically Commando or Taken or John Wick or Old Boy or anyone of a number of lone antihero takes on masses of people trying to kill him.

I really enjoyed it. A little formulaic, but perfect for a Saturday night, don't want to think too much, action revenge film.


I watched POLAR last night and thought it was splendid. It's a bit of mixed bag tonally, and tries to be a bit too much like other things at times, plus it lurches into very dark territory in the final third as the somewhat campy villain turns extremely torturey. (This is not a film Mrs Hearthly could watch.) I didn’t mind that in and of itself, but the film finishes off at a very different place to where it starts in terms of tone.

Also, I never quite made my mind up if casting Matt Lucas as the main baddie was a genius idea, or simply terrible. I certainly thought ‘What are the scores, Georgie Doors?’ more than once, but on balance I’d say he’d won me over by the end - be aware, this film definitely has its tongue in its cheek, don’t take it entirely seriously.

The thing that won me over early on and kept me interested was its willingness to do its own thing, despite being a genre mash-up in many regards, it’s definitely got its own identity.

Mads Mikkelsen plays the main role perfectly, it takes a certain gravitas to make us sympathise with a main character who is essentially a ruthless killer, but he manages it.

The basic conceit of the movie is admirably simple, the hitman company has decided it doesn’t want to pay its hitmen pensions, so has younger hitmen on the payroll kill the retiring or retired hitmen, as the pension then reverts to the company, but needless to say Mads isn’t going to take this lying down.

Add in a mysterious young lass who comes into his life, and there’s a bit of intrigue thrown into the mix as well.

Do be aware the violence is massively over the top, and whilst a lot of it is standard issue CGI bloodfest material and over the top gore, it does go to a darker place in the final act.

Overall I really enjoyed this, and as the credits rolled I thought, ‘Y’know what, that was a bloody good film’. Ignore the horseshit Rotten Tomatoes rating (19%? Fuck off!), and dial up a couple of hours of Netflix fun - watch Polar!

805/1000 - Flawed in more than one way, but the worst thing I think a film can be is boring by-the-numbers PG-13 tat. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a safe, boring film. Polar is anything but boring.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:27 
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It was pretty good fun, although any low-budget film that wants to be a splatterfest should use the best practical effects they can afford rather than those same crappy After Effects blood spurts all over the place.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:36 
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Hearthly wrote:

I watched POLAR last night and thought it was splendid. It's a bit of mixed bag tonally, and tries to be a bit too much like other things at times, plus it lurches into very dark territory in the final third as the somewhat campy villain turns extremely torturey. (This is not a film Mrs Hearthly could watch.) I didn’t mind that in and of itself, but the film finishes off at a very different place to where it starts in terms of tone.



I appear to be viewing this in sittings on my commute, and the torture section was a tough watch. I felt duty-bound to angle my phone towards the wall of the train to avoid affronting other passengers. I'm pretty squeamish so didn't enjoy that hugely.

Remaining 20-minutes or so to watch today.

Very much agree with it being tonally all over the place.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 14:05 
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We started watching polar last night on this thread's recommendation and have up about 20 minutes in. It's complete garbage. Crank did it better, what, 15 years ago?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 19:36 
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Rude Belittler

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Weird I started watching this, and it had Mads in, but he doesn't seem to be a hitman, and he's been in a plane crash?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 9:47 
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BikNorton wrote:
We started watching polar last night on this thread's recommendation and have up about 20 minutes in. It's complete garbage. Crank did it better, what, 15 years ago?


The start is the weakest part of the whole film and I was a bit 'Hmmm, not sure I'm liking this', but once I realised we were supposed to be having fun with it as much as anything else, I was on board for the ride.

Daft shit like him buying the dog and then accidentally shooting it a few hours later struck me as darkly comic.

The whole film was something a bit different, (despite, in many regards, being entirely constructed from bits of other films), I liked it. Not without its flaws, but entertaining and engaging.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 11:18 
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The bit with the dog was great. Mikkelson is great. The rest of it was fucking terrible. Especially Matt Lucas.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:32 
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Last night’s film was ‘HOW TO TO GET AHEAD IN ADVERTISING’ from 1989, directed by Bruce ‘Withnail & I’ Robinson and starring an arguably never-better Richard E Grant, ably supported by a splendid cast. (Including Richard Wilson and a fantastic Rachel Ward, ‘Darling, why are you putting frozen chickens down the lavatory?’)

I remember renting this film a couple of times on VHS when it was new, at a guess I’d say I haven’t watched it for 16 or 17 years. However, I’m a rather older and (possibly) a bit wiser now, so I got a lot more out of it.

The target of the film is television advertising (as being 1989, the internet and social media weren’t a thing), although it’s incredibly easy to imagine the themes and narrative being transplanted to the present day with depressing ease.

The tale is told through Grant’s character Dennis Bagley, a highly successful and very well paid advertising executive who can sell anything to anyone, by preying on their fears and desires, and if those fears and desires don’t exist, creating them and then preying on them. (An early presentation to budding executives makes the immorality of his profession crystal clear.)

Unfortunately for him, he’s hit a total writer’s block trying to come up with a campaign for a new pimple cream, (‘Of course it doesn’t fucking work, nothing does’), to the extent that he developers a massive ugly boil on his shoulder, and this leads to a breakdown and epiphany as he denounces the world of advertising as evil, and pledges to devote his life to fighting it. However, the darker side of his personality isn’t going to take this lying down, and the boil on his shoulder starts to grow and develop a persona of its own, much to the distress of his wife….. (There’s a clue in the film’s title.)

I must stress that this is a fantastically written satirical comedy first, and a searing social commentary second, with many genuine LOL moments, however, I’d say that the twenty years since its original release have given its ‘message’ considerably MORE clout than it had at the end of the 1980s (when it was bang on the money too, by the way). There are a couple of pretty overt ‘speeches’ but IMO the film more than earns them.

In a way, it’s almost like it predicted where things were going to go with social media engineering, tailored news feeds, targeted advertising and suchlike - of course none of this existed in 1989 but the film sets its stall out in such a fashion as to leave us in no doubt that where we are now is the inevitable end result of the course we were on.

This is a brilliant film, directed with admirable verve, splendidly written and allowed to soar via a series of memorable performances from all, but notably from Grant who effectively plays three different parts in the film, each of which is magnificent.

It’s very, very funny, but also a little bit scary, because it feels like it knew exactly where we were going…..

905/1000

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:03 
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Presented without comment.



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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:21 
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Clicked past without watching


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:35 
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I've got many comments, and they're all FUCK YEAH.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:41 
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DavPaz wrote:
Clicked past without watching

Major error. Major.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:45 
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https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/ppxx ... ooking-101

Quote:
The Rock's latest project, Ballers, is HBO's most watched comedy in six years. The Rock gets a lot of props – with Forbes quoting him as earning $31.5 million (£20 million) last year, he's the 11th highest-earning actor on Earth, and I suppose 31-and-a-half million props are probably, by most accepted scales, enough props – but I'm still not sure he gets enough props. On paper, none of his projects make any sense, but with him on screen they do: San Andreas turns from yet-another-disaster-movie into an extremely passable blockbuster; nobody really knew they wanted three more Fast & Furious sequels until there was a trailer where The Rock breaks a plaster cast off his arm while saying "Daddy's gotta go to work", and then everyone was like "oh HELL YES! GIVE ME ONE HUNDRED MORE OF THOSE FILMS!"


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:54 
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Yup

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:06 
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Cras wrote:
I've got many comments, and they're all FUCK YEAH.


:This:

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 9:53 
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:luv:

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 10:08 
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We are all blessed to have the Rock in our lives. I've always thought that.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 22:31 
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This weekend's films -

Velvet Buzzsaw - an interesting horror film, but is a bit all over the place. Plus, if you're going to do the usual horror film thing of having unlikable characters getting their comeuppance, don't give them so much screen time. The only likeable one is John Malkovich's character and he doesn't get much screen time.

The Wolverine - only really watched this to explain the bone claws in Days of Future Past. This felt too long and felt like a pretty ordinary superhero film, with very little danger of anyone actually dying.

Logan - much more like it. The R-rated nature of it all suited it to a tee.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 22:55 
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I don't think that the bone/Adamantium claws were really ever properly fully explained were they? In Days of Future Past he had Adamantium claws in the present, but then inhabited the past version of himself prior to getting Adamantium claws. We know he initially got the Adamantium claws (and entire skeleton) in Canada (depicted in iirc X-Men 1 & 2 in flashbacks, for real in the prequel X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and we see the immediate aftermath again in Apocalypse), loses them during The Wolverine, but then has them from the start of both Days of Future Past and Logan. I guess the implication is that that maybe Magneto fixed them for him? We never even really find out what him and Professor X came to meet him in the airport about, it obviously wasn't the problems from the start of Days of Future Past, because none of that stuff had even happened yet.

These film's timeline/continuity is a mess.

The Wolverine could have been much better imo, I liked a lot about it, but most of the things I didn't like about it, especially the final act, were to some extent the result of studio meddling.

There was much less studio meddling in Logan, because the director said he could do it for a much smaller budget if they agreed to that.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 22:57 
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LewieP wrote:
These film's timeline/continuity is a mess.

So a faithful adaptation of the comics then.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 23:43 
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Yep!


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2019 17:35 
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Bohemian Rhapsody.

Fantastic film. Shed a few tears at the end.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:32 
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I watched Hunter Killer. A submarine thriller based on the true story of when Gerard Butler stopped a nuclear war with Russia in the near future using only his uncanny ability to be amazing. He also stars in it. And, you’ll be surprised to learn, it’s utterly dreadful. One of the marines looks like Dr Cox but it’s not Dr Cox cause Dr Cox is a fictional character but also it’s not even the actor who played Dr Cox.

1 Cox out of 10


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:47 
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Can you dig it?

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DavPaz wrote:
Clicked past without watching


This...

But then I went back and

Cras wrote:
I've got many comments, and they're all FUCK YEAH.


This....

Holy shit that film look RIDICULOUS in a brilliant way. I really want to see that.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 20:16 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
Posts: 12788
I watched Overlord (or should that be Wolfenstein?) It’s the JJ Abrams film. I liked the beginning but I wasn’t overly impressed with the rest cause I kinda wanted more of the beginning (it takes a right turn about 45 mins into the brisk 1 hour 40 minute odd runtime). It was alright and you’ll likely have a good time watching it, mind. I enjoyed the blood splatters most. Blood squibs are best. That CGI garbage is rubbish.

6/10


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 21:55 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 45129
Location: West Yorkshire
Lonewolves wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Mr Dave wrote:
Hearthly wrote:
Findus Fop wrote:
This article by John "Kill Your Friends" Niven about the process of writing in Hollywood is an interesting one.

http://www.esquire.co.uk/culture/film-tv/9009/john-niven-kill-your-friends-screenwriter/

telling excerpt


That's a great article, does anyone know what the FILM HE WON'T NAME is?

Babe: Pig in the city.

Directed by the same chap who directed (the Oscar nommed) Mad Max: Fury Road.


Which wassn't very good.

Pipe down, rom com boy. It was excellent.


I watched Fast and Furious Seven last night. It was way better than fury road because of the following:
1) it had more than one car chase in it
2) it started with Statham fighting The Rock
4) car chases
5) a plot rather than "drive to a tree and turn round and go home again"
6) it nailed the humdrum reality of driving the kid to nursery in an MPV
7) it isn't really dull
8) every second of it is filled with more betterness than fury road
9) skyline GTR
10) Statham fights Vin Diesel

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 22:12 
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Lord Humongous

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 45498
Location: The erogenous zone
Bumblebee - the best Transformers film by far.

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