Just close your eyes mate

Just close your eyes mate

I like that idea more when you’re in the room.

Taking the family to see Spiderverse as an end-of-holidays treat. I've been off for so long, I don't think I even remember where I work

Taking the family to see Spiderverse as an end-of-holidays treat. I've been off for so long, I don't think I even remember where I work

Let us know what you think. I'm keen to take the kids, I think 7 yo Fop would be fine, but suspect it may be a bit violent for 2.5 yo Fop.

Oh

It was AWESOME. My kids are nearly-eight and just-turned-six and they both loved it. There's no graphic violence but there are a few on screen deaths. It is rather long too, so maybe the youngling might struggle.

So I saw Bumblebee.

I went in with low expectations and I was not disappointed. It’s 40% a girl and her special car, ala Herbie, and 60% typical Transformer movie.

By far the best bits of the film are the Herbie bits as the new girl discovers Bumblebee and they have a jolly time as Bumblebee gets to grips living on earth with the humans. All of these are funny and endearing and I could have watched much more of this. The bit where they get back at the bully was genuinely hilarious. Oh and the soundtrack is excellent.

The worse bits are just generic smashy robot shit. These bits are better than the Michael Bay movies, as the action isn’t always a jumbled mess of CGI screen splooge, thankfully, but they are always kinda meh to watch. There’s no risk or tension in the action either as Bumblebee dies only to be revived 2 minutes later. I said the same with Black Panther and the same goes here: I have no idea why they do this crap time and time again. I’m not invested because I know he’ll be back straightaway. And he was. And they set up this crap where the main girl is a world class diving champion and hasn’t done a dive since her dad died. I nudged my mate and said “I bet she does a dive in the last 5 minutes” and she did. Yawn.

Worst still is that the film has two main baddies that are all but made up for this film: Shatter and Dropkick. Never heard of them. Me neither. And they’re boring. And what’s worst and really fucked me off was that in the beginning of the film you see all these cool Gen.1 Autobots and Decepticons that you actually know that aren’t in the actual film. Mind you, Ravage shoots out of Soundwave and he’s white. Fucks sake. And that female robot from Transformers: The Movie is in the background. That was fun. Cliffjumper is in it for a minute. Blitzwing is in it for a bit and he’s also the wrong fucking colour - he looks like Starscream and I actually thought it was Starscream until he spoke and it wasn’t him so I had to look up who it was supposed to be afterwards. Wasters.

And of course the military is involved and led by fucking morons. They are annoying, pointless and should have been completely cut from the film. Especially John Cena. Urgh, he’s so stupid. When he saluted at the end of the film I punched myself in the nuts to make sure I was still awake and that actually happened.

4/10 because the 40% of the Herbie film was great.

Y’know, what they should have done is made it into a Herbie style film. I’d have bloody loved that. Bumblebee helping his gal pal out at school and with her bullies and stuff, pushing her towards her love interest and getting up to mischief. No Decepticons, no battles, just a girl and her Transforming car. Now that would have been a fantastic film. They clearly had the chops to do it because all of these bits are hilarious. Ah well, you get this crap instead. Maybe next time.

I watched a film I enjoyed!

Inside Out - it’s a Disney Pixar one init. It’s lots of fun.

Yeah, Kevin Hart's entire career continue to confuse me; he's fucking awful.

Last night I watched INCEPTION which has turned up on Netflix and somehow I've never seen before. I figured its dream within a dream within a dream surrealism would be a refreshing dose of reality when compared to the world of Brexit.

It's pretty good, albeit total hokum if you even begin to think it through, it sort of sets up the rules of its world and obeys them but they're so nonsensical you may as well just strap yourself in for the ride and enjoy it.

As ever with Nolan it's all very well put together with great action, effects and setpieces, strong cast, good script, compelling narrative, and characters we care about, although it suffered a bit as a PG-13/12 and would have benefited from some R/15 style shenanigans IMO.

Also it dragged a bit in a couple of areas, I could have done without the extended sequence where the dude gets everyone out in zero gravity to the lift so he can do the 'jolt' thing, for example.

So yeah, kind of what I was expecting it to be really, very good but not exceptional.

740/1000

I rewatched that too recently and every time I see it, the bit that drags for me is the whole snowy shootout stuff... it goes on way too long. Still a very good film though.

The Running Man - Haven't seen it in ages and expected it to have dated visually, but it still holds up very well

That's set in 2019, isn't it?

WELL NOW WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT DOING, CRASTER?

WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?

WELL NOW WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT DOING, CRASTER?

WELL NOW WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT DOING, CRASTER?

That's set in 2019, isn't it?

Walking.