Be Excellent To Each Other

So who do you lot think is the best then? Bloody snarky dullard Iron Man?

It's literally true!

It’s clearly Black Widow. Then Valkyrie. Then Hulk. Then the Cap.

Hulk then Iron Man then Black Widow then Captain Underpants then Hawkeye.

No Thor, from anyone?

Is Thor an avenger? Because I like him a lot.

jinx!

My tiers:

Thor = Hulk
Widow = Iron Man = Ant Man
Spidey = Witch = Vision = Falcon
Hawkeye = Quicksilver
Cap

Valkyrie is awesome, but not an Avenger.

The problem I have with Thor, is that how powerful he is changes from one second to the next. He should be pretty much invincible, so any peril feels falsely introduced, and any time he is getting beaten the shit out of, doesn't stack up.
You could argue the same thing for Hulk, or course, but that is a bit more explainable in how angry he is...

Plus the guy who plays Thor is seriously ugly, I mean, what an ugo, you have to close your eyes while he is on screen.

u wot m8

I have to admit, this has always bothered me. It was particularly obvious in Infinity War, where

Infinity War is all over the place in power levels. It's one of the few flaws in the movie.( Other than the "you have to watch all the movies to know what the fuck is going on" thing)You have badass normals taking on things that give physical gods trouble...and winning.

Aaaaaannyyway: Ant-man and the Wasp is good, real good. A nice light-hearted caper.

Ant Man is the best because his actor stopped ageing years ago, in what must have been some sort of Faustian pact.

American Assassin is ....mediocre. that's about all I can summon up for it.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Karen Gillan's midriff is the star of this show

You misspelt "Dwayne Johnson" and "entire body" there.

In other news, late to the party but Deadpool 2 is fan fucking tastic.

Last night I watched BAD DAY FOR THE CUT which has turned up on Netflix, it's a revenge thriller set in Northern Island. (The writer and director are Irish, as are most of the cast.)

This is a bloody fantastic film. Plot wise it's a somewhat routine revenge thriller but that really doesn't do it justice. It's got flavours of Blue Ruin, In Bruges and Dead Man's Shoes about it but isn't a knock-off of any of them.

Rotten Tomatoes summarises it thusly:



It's not unremittingly grim by any stretch of the imagination, although it does get rather violent and sweary. (There are some genuinely funny moments in there.)

The protagonist is brilliantly played by a chap called Nigel O'Neill and the baddies are splendid, including an occasionally unhinged Susan Lynch.

The whole thing is just really well done, TBH I wasn't much in the mood to do anything last night after a testing week at work and I was bastard tired, but this film grabbed me from the off and didn't let me go until the credits rolled.

Do yourself a favour and spin this film up on Netflix.

925/1000

NOTE - The trailer is arguably a bit spoilery, I'd say just watch the film. Did I mention it's really good? Watch this film!

Last night I watched ‘United 93’ which is on Amazon Prime, it’s the story of one of the hijacked flights on 9/11, which crashed before it reached its target. (United 93 was the flight where the passengers overpowered the hijackers, having learned what had happened with the other hijacked planes. Once they realised the hijackers were on a suicide mission, they collectively decided to try and take the plane back.)

Whilst it’s a dramatisation it attempts to be as accurate as possible, drawing on all available records from the time, the families of the passengers assisted with the production, recounting their last conversations with their loved ones, and suchlike. (Indeed, a lot of people on the ground play themselves. The film acknowledges that the final moments of what happened on the plane are a best guess at what transpired.)

This is quite a remarkable film, the first 40 minutes or so are entirely mundane, as we just watch people go about their usual airport routines, the flight being prepared, the pilots chatting as they walk to the plane, the plane’s crew getting things ready and so on. But there’s this horrible knowledge that every single one of them is going to die.

The film regularly cuts away to various air traffic control centres and NORAD, as information and evidence start to come in that suggest a coordinated series of hijackings are underway.

In many regards it’s hard to ‘enjoy’ a film like this, I spent most of its runtime consumed by a sense of mounting dread, hoping that somehow it wouldn’t end the way I knew it would.

Highly recommended - 915/1000

http://www.reelviews.net/reelviews/united-93

Watched a film. It was called Upgrade.

Here’s the pitch: Man gets microchip in his neck and then does violent murders.

It’s great.

(Summary: It doesn’t break any new ground; nonoutstandig acting, simply serviceable; the kooky IT wizard is shit; it’s a bit daft; the cinematography is quite good though; the violence is groovy; i think it’s filmed on digital camera so it looks a bit cheap; it nicely tips over 90 minutes run-time which is just right.)

Nearly every film it's captured on digital cameras now; as a 2018 film that won't be the reason for cheap-looking-ness.

I watched this tonight and whilst I think you're selling it rather short in some regards, it is basically a superb B movie experience with some splendidly over the top violence.

I didn't get the 'cheap' looking side of things at all, they obviously didn't have a mega-budget to chuck at it but I don't think anything looked out of place or cheaped out on either.

This film comes HIGHLY RECOMMENDED as some great revenge movie thrills with sci-fi overtones and sentient computers can be bad and stuff.

A solid 8/10 but a bit better than that so 830/1000.

(Give BAD DAY FOR THE CUT a go, Mr Satsuma.)

Holy shit it's a 15, the stuff they can get away with at that certificate these days!

(Mind you, I get the feeling the most violent bits had been trimmed a bit to get an R in the States, as the edits were overly quick and severe in a couple of moments I felt, and R generally translates to 15 these days.)

Deadpool 2 was a fifteen, and had the word "cunt" more than once, which I don't think I've heard in a 15 before.

It's allowed to be used in a 'none aggressive' manner, and infrequently, at 15.

I suspect Bad Day For The Cut got an 18 for the way in which it utilised the word.

Specifically:

Holy shitballs

Cunt care less.

Hmm, I’m a bit wary of the last film I watched that you recommended... but, hey, let’s give it a punt.

See now I think you're holding the 'DISCOPATHE EVENT' against me for far too long and on specious reasoning at that.

I was recovering from a 'vasectomy gone wrong' (there's three words you don't want to see together, along with 'scrotal hematoma'), I was self-medicating to the max with a heady combination of alcohol, opioids and benzodiazepines, and I specifically stated that I was giving the film a recommendation in that it managed to take my mind of my FUCKED BOLLOCKS for an hour and a half.

You wouldn't want to have walked a mile in my shoes at that point. Not that I could really walk at all, of course.

You know I’m only joshing.

I’m currently trying to finish watching Deadpool in R.I.P.D. but it’s taking multiple sittings because Van Wilder is a terrible MIB. I’m not sure Green Lantern is capable of giving a sincere and earnest display of romance or heartbreak. He was in Sabrina the Teenage Witch: The Movie. He ruined that film.

I know I hope my over the top responses make that clear!

I'd honestly be interested to know what you think of Bad Day For The Cut, because I felt like that and Upgrade were two sides of the same coin in many regards. (They're both essentially revenge stories, but done in very different ways.)

I watched The Equalizer 2. Man alive, it’s shockingly bad and fails as a sequel in all regards. Most annoying was that the lovely sensible direction of the first has been dropped in favour of tight, fast cuts where you can’t tell what’s going on.

Just don’t bother, K?

(Summary: Slow-mo future vision returns and is shit; pointless story; boss lady goes out like a boss though; the “teen” he helps looks like he’s in his mid-twenties and is really, really, REALLY fucking annoying; the script is awful; who knew flour + flash grenade = nuclear bomb; the clever use of things around him to neutralise people is gone in favour of things being already setup when he arrives; the action scenes are universally poor; at one point he’s bleeding and I couldn’t fathom when this happened - very poor; typically, like a parody of the original film and lots of Denzil’s action film output, he doesn’t get a scratch until the fight with the final baddie when he’s suddenly slightly crapper and finally I didn’t like Denzil wearing an oversized suit jacket like a muppet.)

(At one point he has a MAC-10 and DOESNT fucking use it! Jesus Christ.)

(Ok, fine, there’s one bit where he shoots a man in the face and it’s awesome. And that bit is the sodding trailer)

2/10

Plan Z - This was a cottage quiz prize that I didn't win because it is basically fixed each year . Anyhow, it is a zombie thriller. An exceedingly claustrophobic one. Tightly shot, and well scripted it does everything well. A little short at below 90 minutes but uses time very efficiently.
Recommended

I'll probably still watch this because I like Denzel so much and a part of me refuses to believe the sequel could be so bad compared to the first.

And then be massively disappointed, by the sounds of it.

It’s kinda like, say, Bourne Identity vs Bourne Supremacy. That’s about as good as an analogy as I can muster.

I didn't have particularly high expectations for Zoolander 2 (it was on telly last night) but my goodness, it was entirely absent of laughs until Will Ferrell reappeared. And even then, there was only one or two little chuckles.

The best bit was the funky end credits with the characters dancing and some kaleidoscope-like effects.

Zoolander 2 was peak recency/primacy. Very funny start, very funny end, a load of unfunny bullshit making up the majority of the runtime in the middle.

I watched another film: Bad Day for the Cut.

It's essentially the Irish Get Carter. Sort of.

It starts off really strong as Irish's old mah gets shuffled off this mortal coil with a carriage clock and then there's a burst of violence as Irish goes on a revenge murder spree armed with a farmer's shotgun. But once it got going I had issues with two characters:

Firstly I couldn't decide whether the side kick, a clumsy Polish chap that'd been dragged into a life of crime as the baddies were holding his sister hostage, was alright or ruined the entire film. His defining trait is that he's fucking useless which starts off fine (because it has to to advance the story) but started to get on my nerves a bit towards the end. A small bit, not much. I get what they were going for towards the end (He doesn't want to continue the murder spree but then about turns and goes to help) but it's done poorly. They needed to reshoot his final act to make his motivation clearer. Maybe his sister rags on him for being a chicken shit and forces a change of heart, anything other than him just getting up in the dead of night and walking out the door.

Secondly, the main villain is awful. She's a loud mouth Irish gangster with a thirst for violence. The actor doesn't do a great job and she was more cringe-worthy than evil bitch.

Other issues:

The violence starts off nice and, um, violent, but then the violence starts to wain as the film progresses. The violence is initially shown in a straight-forward manner and in your face: quite, matter of factly: I'm burning your forehead with a pan. No cuts just here's a pan and here's a man's forehead being melted. But then the violence, for whatever reason, takes a back seat and it becomes off-screen. Gunshots are heard off camera with a burst of blood from unknown body parts; men are killed off screen; but, most shockingly of all, he carries that fucking shotgun throughout the entire film and uses it just once. FFS. And it's a single shooter too. Give the man a double barrel. Tch.

Other than that, the story is straightforward enough, it churns along at a fair old pace, has a nice, gritty, miserable look about it (which makes the lack of violent antics annoying), lasts a standard 90 minutes, and has a rather super ambiguous ending. An enjoyable film.

I'm going to give it a better than average 5.5 out of 10.

Jigsaw was added to Netflix today, so I thought I'd give it a go and it is indeed terrible. Absolute mess of a film.

I'm home alone tonight so I'm watching Ready Player One. Shockingly, in comparison to the book it's DUMBED DOWN. Didn't think that was possible

Enjoying it though.

It's fucking awful. Genuinely one of the worst films I've ever seen and I spent a chunk of it's runtime being embarrassed on behalf of the entire cast and crew.

Nah

Debate level: God-tier

More detail? Ok. It's clearly not one of the best films ever made, but looking at it as a purely visual creation disqualifies it from being one of the worst.

He said it's one of the worst films he'd seen.

True. Damn subjective bastard.

Yeah, I don't buy that. You can have the best CGI in the world and still be a terrible example of a film because a decent film requires more than just looking good. If you're looking at it as a purely visual creation then you're not watching a film, you're reviewing the effects team's CV.