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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 17:16 
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Trooper wrote:
It's just so... Disney, which is unsurprising.
No depth to any of the characters, played for laughs in the wrong places, everyone is just so earnest and stupid, nobody does anything that feels a natural decision, or says anything that feels like a natural conversation.

Have you even seen Episode IV?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 18:02 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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DavPaz wrote:
Trooper wrote:
It's just so... Disney, which is unsurprising.
No depth to any of the characters, played for laughs in the wrong places, everyone is just so earnest and stupid, nobody does anything that feels a natural decision, or says anything that feels like a natural conversation.

Have you even seen Episode IV?


Of course, but that is totally different tonally. e.g. In the last jedi, everyone cares so much about everyone else, right from the very first moment they meet. Compare that to Han Solo, who couldn't give two shits about any of the other main protagonists, and he evolves through the film into someone who realises he cares. Character development, nuance, it's all missing in the new films.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 18:18 
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Ready Player One is fucking God awful. A bigger load of trite clichéd horseshit I've rarely seen. Just...wow.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 19:43 
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Bamba wrote:
Ready Player One is fucking God awful. A bigger load of trite clichéd horseshit I've rarely seen. Just...wow.


MrsA asks "Have you read the book?"

I do not know why she does ask this but it seems To Be Important

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 20:09 
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I have not read the book.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 20:10 
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The book is also clichéd nonsense.

And it's awesome.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 20:13 
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Assuming the film is a faithful adaption I'm genuinely mystified by it's popularity.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 20:16 
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DavPaz wrote:
The book is also clichéd nonsense.

And it's awesome.

:this:

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 20:22 
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Bamba wrote:
Assuming the film is a faithful adaption I'm genuinely mystified by it's popularity.

Nostalgia. A love of fun. Narcotics


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 13:55 
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Shape of Water.

It was nice and cute, but nothing special. If you took out a couple of scenes, it could be a sunday afternoon movie for the whole family. It even has a pantomime villain.

But it won the oscar, so what do i know?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 18:40 
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Bamba wrote:
Assuming the film is a faithful adaption I'm genuinely mystified by it's popularity.


It’s 50 Shades of Grey, but for nerds.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 18:41 
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Decapodian

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Bamba wrote:
Assuming the film is a faithful adaption I'm genuinely mystified by it's popularity.


I believe it's very much not a faithful adaptation.
I enjoyed the book but don't think I'll bother with the film.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 18:44 
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Sleepyhead

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Trooper wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
Trooper wrote:
It's just so... Disney, which is unsurprising.
No depth to any of the characters, played for laughs in the wrong places, everyone is just so earnest and stupid, nobody does anything that feels a natural decision, or says anything that feels like a natural conversation.

Have you even seen Episode IV?


Of course, but that is totally different tonally. e.g. In the last jedi, everyone cares so much about everyone else, right from the very first moment they meet. Compare that to Han Solo, who couldn't give two shits about any of the other main protagonists, and he evolves through the film into someone who realises he cares. Character development, nuance, it's all missing in the new films.


Finn’s character arc in two movies is as good as anything in the previous six.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 2:23 
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Molly's Game is pretty fucking good.

Elba acts the shit out of it, as always.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 3:55 
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Yeah I wanna watch that. Apparently Micheal Cera as Toby Maguire is hilarious.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 9:09 
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Thor Ragnarok is awesome.

Looking forward to Infinity War.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 15:33 
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LewieP wrote:
Yeah I wanna watch that. Apparently Micheal Cera as Toby Maguire is hilarious.

What? Not even sort of.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 15:41 
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It Came From The Desert: The Movie

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4288674/



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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 16:16 
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Is that related to the Cinemaware game?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 16:27 
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Comfortably Dumb

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GazChap wrote:
Is that related to the Cinemaware game?


The Cinemaware logo is at the end of the trailer. The trailer isn't exactly making me want to watch the full film though.. the acting looks pretty bad.

In other film news, Netflix added some decent old stuff the other day - Jaws, Brewster's Millions, and the classic musical, The Blues Brothers. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 16:35 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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devilman wrote:

In other film news, Netflix added some decent old stuff the other day - Jaws, Brewster's Millions, and the classic musical, The Blues Brothers. ;)


That's strange, if you select the Musicals category in Netflix, they don't list the The Blues Brothers...


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 16:48 
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Bad Girl

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I’m just going to see Isle of Dogs. I couldn’t be more excited!


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 17:05 
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Mylene Class is going too.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 17:09 
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Bad Girl

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Where’s the Banhammer, hmmm?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 18:15 
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Bad Girl

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Sold out seats. Typical Sat.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 22:21 
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I waited for the next showing. Totally fucking worth it. Isle of Dogs is awesome. Not really for kids, mind.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 14:53 
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I watched a lot of films this week, mostly whilst sat next to a ginger idiot.

1) Nude Nuns with Big Guns
Oh noes! Sister Sara was on drugs or something, and to honest I'm not sure why. I think a baddy drugged her, but I don't know why. Anyway, she shot a lot of people, and spent a lot of time naked. As far as really crap films go, this one was okay.
2) Project X
Oh noes! Thomas is going to have a party, but he's a nerd so no-one will come. Spoiler alert: A lot of people come! This is one of the best films ever created.
3) Molly's Game
Oh noes! Molly can't ski, so starts running poker games instead. Hella good. I would like to give Molly kisses.
4) POULTRYGEIST
Oh noes! A fast food chicken restaurant was built on top of an Indian burial ground, and the chicken is becoming possessed or something. There are lesbians protesting, for some reason. This one was hella violent and hella stupid. And, surprisingly, a musical. To say it wasn't great would be an understatement.
5) Elves
Oh noes! A combination of Nazi's and inbreeding and witchcraft has summoned an Elf (just the one, no matter what the film is called). It seems to spend all of the film not really doing anything, but the Nazi's are pretty bad (as you might expect). The department store Santa saves the day, even though by the end I was routing for the Elf, because he tried to share his cockroach.
6) Little Bitches
I've no idea how this happened, but somehow we ended up watching a coming-of-age comedy with Sam off iCarly and Sam and Kat. They did lots of swearing (and we all learnt something about tampons). But - mainly - shit.
7) Breeders
Oh noes! Weird gloopy aliens are raping virgins in New York! It's okay, Dr. Nameless and Officer Dull can stop them! Eventually. This one is almost worth watching for the massive jizz pool at the end.
8) Deadpool
Yeah, this is still fantastic.
9) Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Oh noes! This started off fine and then the tape snapped on the video or something, and it wouldn't play. Boo!
10) Dog Soldiers
Yeah, this is still fantastic.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 17:30 
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I can’t believe you sat down and watched a film called Poultrygeist.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 18:13 
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THIS MAY NOT BE SAFE FOR WORK


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 18:16 
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Mimi wrote:
I can’t believe you sat down and watched a film called Poultrygeist.

Also we watched a show where people eat a cheap version of something (a hotdog, maybe), then a medium priced version of the same thing, and then a stupidly expensive version of the same thing, and decide which was the best value for money. They were about ten minutes long each, and we watched for six straight hours.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 18:18 
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Worth It, by Buzzfeed. I specifically went to the £200 ribs place I ate at in Seoul because of it, which is probably worse than watching it for six hours straight.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 18:24 
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We didn't even like it that much.

I think we watched six hours of Worth It, five hours of The Bombay Chef, four hours of BBQ Pitmasters and about an hour of whatever show had the lovely lovely Chef Megan in.

And 20 minutes of Deep Fried Masters.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 18:25 
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When we saw that episode I said "I wonder if that's the one Gaywood went to, they prep the meat just like his photo".

Also they went from being two annoying guys with a mate with a camera to going to Korea with David Chang, which is pretty fucking impressive.

Then we watched more hours of a guy who makes good indian food (but has terrible kitchen hygiene) but kept trying to do other cuisines and doing the worst things you've ever seen.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 18:33 
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Yes, it is impressive they got Chang, right?! And yes, I specifically went to the same place they go to in the video, because I am deranged (and it looked amazing.)

And it was amazing.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 18:52 
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Grim... wrote:
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Hahahaha!!! Oh my actual goodness. I did not know that films like that existed. How much WTF did they cram into that trailer?!?! There can’t be any film left. That’s the worst looking film I’ve ever heard of.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 19:02 
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Boobs looked lovely, though.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 1:35 
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Ready Player One (the film) is fucking embarrassing painful bullshit cringey terrible trash. Which is a position I stand by, but Jenny Nicholson, as usual, nails every aspect of that:



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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 8:28 
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Grim... wrote:
THIS MAY NOT BE SAFE FOR WORK



Jesus Christ, downloading immediately!


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:45 
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A Quiet Place. The acceptable face of horror for me - in that it's thriller more than it is horror. I was gripped, though afterwards it seemed quite a slight thing, and I thought it by implication had a bit of a plot hole, of the 'surely someone in authority would have tried variations on that before?' Gets away with it on the grounds that the family were tinkerers and in that they just don't tell you the back story in full.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2018 13:38 
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JBR wrote:
A Quiet Place. The acceptable face of horror for me - in that it's thriller more than it is horror. I was gripped, though afterwards it seemed quite a slight thing, and I thought it by implication had a bit of a plot hole, of the 'surely someone in authority would have tried variations on that before?' Gets away with it on the grounds that the family were tinkerers and in that they just don't tell you the back story in full.


Agreed with all of this. It's also rather satisfying that
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
moronic child being moronic actually gets properly punished for it for once, rather than the usual setup wherein they'd be the idiotic catalyst for lots of shitty stuff happening to other people but would be continually saved by the other characters (often at great cost to themselves).
I've spoilered that but it's actually in the trailer. In fact that single scene does a brilliant job of telling you pretty much everything you need to know about the film in an incredibly efficient way.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2018 13:42 
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Films I started to watch and turned off cause they were shit (a short list):

1) 12 Strong - The true story of the US foray into Afghanistan following 9/11. I lubs a good military film like, ooh, Lone Survivor, 13 Hours, Saving Private Ryan and all those good un's. This isn't one of them. Unlikeable cliched cast, cliched action sequences, cliched dialogue and generally blandly bland. I managed an hour or so, noticed that it was over 2 hours long and suddenly remembered that I have better things to do with my life.

2) Maze Runner: The Death Cure - I kinda enjoyed the first one. I can't remember the second one much and I can't genuinely remember if this is the third or fourth film. If it's the fourth I've definitely seen the third and can't remember a lick of it. Anyway, this one? I watched thirty minutes and then fiddled with my phone for another 30 minutes before deciding to switch it off. I can't remember any of the characters and have no idea what was supposed to be happening. And the bad guy organization is called "Wicked". BUT ARE THEY ACTUALLY WICKED!? Who gives a fuck.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2018 13:52 
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Bamba wrote:

Agreed with all of this. It's also rather satisfying that ... I've spoilered that but it's actually in the trailer. In fact that single scene does a brilliant job of telling you pretty much everything you need to know about the film in an incredibly efficient way.


Ooh yes, I was glad that was handled that way. Almost made me smile, really!


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 21:08 
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Bad Girl

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Gerrard Butler in a half-decent film? Surely not. But he’s in Den of Thieves and that’s pretty decent. It saga tremendously in the middle but the heists and shooting action are very good - it’s kind of a subpar Heat. If you like pew pew guns then you’ll be in good company here: I just wish they had thought better of trying to incorporate a family drama into the proceedings. It’s never resolved, it takes up too much time in the middle and then never spoken of again and it’s cliched trite. But them guns, aye? When someone pulls out the SAW you know it’s gonna be good.

LMG out of 10


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 22:15 
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Tonight's film was John Wick 2, it was alright, bit boring really. The first one was great, but the second was more of the same with less originality and reason.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 22:27 
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Satsuma wrote:
Gerrard Butler in a half-decent film? Surely not. But he’s in Den of Thieves and that’s pretty decent. It saga tremendously in the middle but the heists and shooting action are very good - it’s kind of a subpar Heat. If you like pew pew guns then you’ll be in good company here: I just wish they had thought better of trying to incorporate a family drama into the proceedings. It’s never resolved, it takes up too much time in the middle and then never spoken of again and it’s cliched trite. But them guns, aye? When someone pulls out the SAW you know it’s gonna be good.

LMG out of 10


Yeah, I really enjoyed it as well and thought Butler's playing against type as a total prick came across really well. The film itself was derivative of loads of other stuff but was well enough executed that it was still hella entertaining.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 15:12 
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A quiet place was pretty good. Lots of tension, but I didn't like the ending at all.

Also some idiot in the cinema thought it was a quiet place to make a phone call, and several times answered his phone and had a conversation. I snapped and said "excuse me shut up I'm trying to watch a movie", but my conclusion is that people are bastards.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 17:52 
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Bad Girl

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I’ve watched Red Sparrow.

Honestly, I don’t know what to make of it. I know it’s not a good film but I’m not sure it’s a bad film. It’s meh but maybe not terrible.

I tell you what though, it plays out like a sodding torture porn film. Jennifer Lawrence gets Beat. The. Shit. Out. Of. Her. She gets beat so bad she might have been turned into wine.

Not only that but she gets sexually assaulted, raped and almost raped several times. I never felt at any time was she in control of her situation or had the upper hand, The End excepting. It’s kind of a miserable and horrible little film.

The only thing I can say about Jen was that when she’s doing the ballet dancing at the beginning (assuming it was her and I think it was) she was FANTASTIC. Cor she’s beautiful. I think I’ll watch Mother! next. I’m not even sure if she’s a good actor. She’s got something about her anyway.

Conclusion: Should you watch Red Sparrow? I’d say no.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 18:25 
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Decapodian

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Interesting. I've read the book (and am half way through the sequel now) and while it's clear that her character is treated badly and gets raped once I don't remember it happening repeatedly. Maybe they wanted to make more of "Naked Jennifer Lawrence" in the film.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 19:13 
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Bad Girl

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As above there’s only one rape, one ‘almost rape’ (well, maybe two), and plenty of sexual assaults. We does wank a guy off though, so, there’s one for the Hunger Games fans...

EDIT: and as for Naked Jen, she gets her tits out. And not in a nice way either, but a “let this guy you hate shag you” way. But he can’t get it up so he spits on his hand... geesh. It’s a rather lovely romance film. :/


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 21:56 
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Isle of Dogs. I liked it. I think. It's an oddity. Stop motion animation about an island of dogs (no!). Piles of kids had been taken to the showing I was in, and yet it's only partly for them, and their oohs at a couple of grim bits were at first a little distracting, but I went with it. I didn't get the same sense of it showing Japan, only in stereotype, that some have mentioned, but it is definitely strange.


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