Be Excellent To Each Other

No, people that go to cinemas are shit. And by that, I mean the people that cry about other people daring to talk during a film.

I'll be the one bouncing up and down on his chair and going "FUCK YEAH" every time something explodes.

You may talk during the movies in the Cinema du DavPaz

There's a difference between that (which is obviously fine) and the people that seemingly go to the cinema to have a fucking conversation with their mate(s), who's either sitting next to them or on the other side of the fucking brilliant white hole in their hand.

Oh, and the Vue at the Lowry centre is shit - when we went to see Sherlock Holmes, the row of seats I was on went "GRINDSQUEAKSQAWK" every time I moved, which because of my coccyx and cinema seats (except Picturehouse@FACT) not getting along is quite a lot. And it's not just me being a fat fuck, the one in front did it too. The person who found that out was a dick who proceeded to spend minutes bouncing up and down, laughing, trying to get his mates to acknowledge HOW FUCKING HILARIOUS he was.

He got told to shut up.

Not only that, the box office and snack queues are merged - one queue to get your tickets, drinks and snacks. That works really well.

I long since learned to expect that. Do you turn your phone off? I don't. I turn it to silent, but you better expect me to look at who is calling and pick up if it's important.


That seems to be the norm nowadays, and while it should work fine, it never seems to.

It's massively annoying. I've prebooked my tickets, because I'm not an idiot, but that becomes entirely redundant when you still have to queue behind squillions of people (who can't fucking queue) to pick them up.

Also annoying, Cineworld have a little trailer right before the film starts saying "There's still time to get your drinks and snacks from the foyer!". NO THERE ISN'T. SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND LOCK THE DOORS. THE FILM'S STARTING.

Fuuuck. Mine is usually dead off - sometimes in airplane mode. If someone can't ignore the world for two hours, they shouldn't be in a cinema.

I can deal with cinema goers whispering the odd thing to a companion or looking at their phone screen (although preferably not on super nova brightness). It's noisy eating/drinking and BO that get to me, both of which I have experienced in copious amounts. I used to have one of those unlimited cards; when I was doing the PhD me and my mate Rich (who worked in retail) would go to the cinema at 10am midweek and see three films back to back in empty cinemas. That was ace. But I've hardly ever gone after 6pm or on a weekend and not been massively annoyed. And now I have a job.

And this is before we factor in the technical fuckups that plague modern multiplexes, where a single projectionist might have to work half a dozen screens. Pictures juddering up and down; focus problems; lipsync issues; prints so scratched they look like they've been run over; sound drop-puts; I've seen them all (and they all bug the shit out of me).

Yeah. I rarely go to the cinema these days.

MOAR SPLOSIONS!

I have just been to see Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

Daniel Craig has a very moley back.

Have now seen the trailer for Man on a Ledge.

I was totally 'My bum is on the edge... of my seat for such a gripping concept!'

Sorry I'm late. Lohan gets her tits out? WANT!

Your bum is on the edge. Your bum is on the edge.

Look at you, your bum is on the edge.

"How to train your dragon" was gid. I want a dragon noo though

Right? I go on about that, too.

127 Hours - Pretty good. Never got dull, considering it's about a guy stuck under a rock. There was some excellent use of sound in the scene that I shan't mention but it isn't really a spoiler considering the guy is well known. Sort of. That Danny Boyle certainly is pretty good at making films.

Yeah. I liked it, but much like Slumdog Millionaire, it was a shiny feelgood popcorn distraction that was effective at emotional manipulation while never masking the fact it was attempting to manipulate one's emotions. Franco is excellent, as he was in Howl. But I dunno - it just felt like a 90 minute Pepsi ad. Very glossy, lovely affirmation of the human spirit (both yours and that of strangers), but left me a bit unsatisfied.

I want to watch Sunshine though.

Sunshine is pretty amazing. Might be my favourite of his films. It's really good at setting something up that looks like it's going to be a cliché, then going in a different direction.

Saw Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy on Bluray last night.
Wished I hadn't bothered, frankly. OK, I haven't read the book, but really, this was in my view slow-paced and boring to the point of interminable, and rather pretentious, quasi-cerebral? Whatever; it certainly didn't do it for me.

Aye, I only thought it was OK. When people have been saying it was the best film of 2011, I've wanted to take them into a lift and stomp their head to pieces.

Glad it wasn't just me then.

Mind you, every cloud has a silver lining. My "Smiley" impression, delivered with pebble-lensed safety glasses, has Mrs Caveman in stitches, at least.

I thought it was fabulous myself. Definitely in the upper echelons of the films of last year. Top 5 without a doubt. But then I'd probably give Adjustment Bureau the top slot as it's the only film I saw twice at the cinema.

I enjoyed it too, properly enjoyable Sunday afternoon sort of film. I hadn't really been aware of much of the hype around it though so that probably helped.

On the subject of films which got roundly bummed and were disappointing I thought Drive was fairly awful. Charmless, contrived Taxi Driver knock off, with shit music and car chases that don't even make any sense but you aren't meant to notice that because it's art house apparently. Fuck off. 5/10.

Wait... a Taxi Driver knock-off?! There was a man in it, and he drove a car, but that's like saying it's a Senna knock-off.

I was thinking of the pacing, the strange, slightly stilted atmosphere and the outbursts of sudden, fairly extreme violence. It certainly reminded me more of Taxi Driver than any other film but left me just wanting to see Taxi Driver again.

My top two films of 2011 were Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and Drive. Go figure.

That's five.

Tinker, Tailor was good but I think history will judge Drive both correctly and unkindly. I'm probably being a little harsh as I did enjoy aspects of the film, some of the performances were brilliant but in the end I felt massively let down and irritated by it.

Just watched Fracture, which wasn't bad. Bit of a slow burner and I was expecting a further twist or two, but entertaining all the same.

I thought it was a bit style-over-substance -- but it was some pretty impressive style. I'd also say it fell slightly too far into Steve McQueen homage too.

Drive was massively overrated IMO.

Don't get me wrong, it was (sort of) enjoyable enough as a switch-your-brain-off-lads-movie, but the plot was very thin, entirely implausible and terribly cliched (the main character was frankly a walking cliche - that whole cheesy and constantly repeated "you've got me for 5 minutes" line; his not carrying a gun, the almost total lack of any interaction with his love interest or pretty much anyone else etc.). The ending was ridiculous as well, and what the fuck was it with that hideous, laughably out of place soundtrack? (Still, at least it was more exciting and less drawn out than Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy. There again, my morning dump was, too).

If it's a lads movie you want, Killer Elite is pretty good. Constant action, some unexpected twists, well acted by a good cast and at least an engaging storyline, supposedly in part based on actual events in the early 80s. (Edit: Although I note, with amusement, that this film was pretty much panned by the critics).

I thought the soundtrack was interesting, other than that I agree with your points Cavey. It's not going to be a Vanishing Point style classic, that's for sure.

Agreed mate; Vanishing Point is a total cult classic.

Talking of films of that era and genre (road movies), I watched Easy Rider again the other night - love it. Steppenwolf's Born to be Wild? Now that's what I call a soundtrack! Biker heaven.

I watched The Descendants on Saturday evening at the Screen on the Green in Islington[1]

I thoroughly enjoyed it but it's not a film that I can fathom why as it's impossible to describe it without making it sound interminably dull, but it wasn't. Granted it it's neither an action movie nor a thriller but more of a gentle look at a man adrift trying to re-anchor his life. Hmmm, read your own synopsises as I'm not feeling particularly descriptive this morning, you should be able to figure from that if it's your kind of film. Clooney is very good, but the standout is his teenage daughter.

[1] I haven't been to this particular cinema for about 16 years and they've changed it into one of those comfy chairs, table, footrests and bar kind of cinema and as you can imagine it's a bit of an art house cinema so it's never going to show Michael Bay, but it's a most agreeable environment to view a movie in as you're not ever going to be surrounded with twonks. And having a beer on a table next to you, with your feet up while sat on a comfy sofa is a great way to experience the cinema.

Sounds a lot like Sideways, then. That's a good thing.

DO WANT. Damn, I wish there was a place like that near me.

Sounds like a great place to sleep, DB

I watched Devil last night. I reckon we could fashion a pretty cool scum game from the concept.

Well volunteered, get cracking, it's a new month tomorrow.

Ok. Give me a few days to work out the roles and rules, though, yeah?

OI. It's The Thing scum next.

<narrows eyes>

[vote:trooper]

Even better

Are you running that Kalmar?

HELL YEAH

_{if I'm allowed. And nobody else already booked one}

Amaze

I think this counts as a booking

Okidoke! It'll be near the end of the month or into March though - a) because I'm busy and b) because it's good to have a bit of space between them I reckon.

You'd think there would be a market for it, even on a small regional level very close to you. Granted, this cinema isn't going to show all movies, but it's my new favourite cinema. There's apparently a whole group of them dotted around London now. Some of them actually do tables and food as well if you want to go the whole hog, but this one does nibbles like houmous (it is Islington) and bread, a dizzying array of olives and a few other bits and pieces.

The Picturehouse cinemas are very good. Not quite to that extent, but good.