Is there anyone else here that wouldn't expect to be sacked for submitting a porn movie on expenses?

I most certainly would.

Unless you mean the expenses of hiring a film crew to film my own porn movie. That I could get away with.

With Jacqui Smith? You sicko.

With Jacqui Smith? You sicko.

MENTALSMAN?

<hasty clarification>
If - and only if - I had to choose a world leader to go on a dinner date with.
</hasty clarification>

As I mentioned in an earlier post, these are "allowances", not "expenses" - a crucial difference from their point of view. They were introduced to up their income without having to vote for payrises for themselves, with all the attendant bad publicity that would go with it.

Over Ukraines?

Fucking *word*, dude.

I *do* hope it was gay porn her husband was watching. With her researcher. Oooooh, this could get good.

Fucking *word*, dude.

Attractive as she is, I sometimes cuss my painter's eye where I notice all the flaws in someone's face within seconds of looking at them - and she has a very oddly shaped top lip

We all know MaliA would still do Maggie

Besides, London does make sense as the more we hide The North from the world's eyes, the better. Jesus isn't going to land Marine one in The Bullring and consider coming back to the UK, now is he?

We all know MaliA would still do Maggie

You'd like this then.

Some photoshop wizard turns Merkel into a 'stunner' in minutes.

http://www.5min.com/Video/Extreme-photo ... L-31386999

Does anyone know the names of the adult films purchased? I need them for a pub quiz we're doing at work on Thursday!

Smith has called a “burglary summit” this week, at which she will announce the introduction of 10% discount vouchers at B&Q.

'Sorry you've been burglared. Have a discount on a padlock'

According to the leaked receipts, Ms Smith filed claims of £550 for a stone sink and console for the kitchen, £568.95 for two washing machines and £119.99 for a Vax carpet cleaner.

Some £405.37 went on plumbing, nearly £500 on a shower mixer, and 88p on a bath plug.

Ms Smith also reportedly bought a £1,000 fireplace, a 32-inch flat screen TV costing £369.99 and a £575 armchair.

Another £511.20 was spent on a sofabed, £72 on four scatter cushions, and £110 on bed linen.

Asked about the claims for pornographic films watched by her husband, she replied: "I feel personally sorry, cross and angry with myself that I made a claim that I shouldn't have made. I paid it back. I did the wrong thing."

I couldn't care less about the porn - £72 for four cushions?

Why not give them a fucking ball or something?

Just heard on Radio 1: "Jacqui Smith insists that she hasn't considered resigning due to the expenses scandal, but does say that she has spoken to her husband about the exploitation of women."

Jacqui Smith, the home secretary, will announce this week that ministers have teamed up with the DIY retailers B&Q and Focus to provide discount vouchers to help householders make their homes more secure.

I may be mistaken - I hope I am - but is that really a newspaper reporting that the government is spending our money on advertising for a couple of fucking shops?

Next week the health minister will give Ms Goody's children a money-off voucher for heroin.

FTFY.

"Jacqui Smith feared she was not up to being home secretary and wished she had been better trained for the role, she reveals in a magazine interview."

Awww....poor Jacqui....




< http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8155454.stm >

Smith told the Radio Times that during her research for the documentary, she had been "shocked" to discover how much hard-core material was washing around the net. And so much of it for absolutely no cost at all.

Naughty stuff? On the Internet? Really, Jacqui?

Yes, it's true. I saw a picture of a lady's front bottom the other day. I had to wash my monitor afterwards.