Be Excellent To Each Other

I always stop at a small square near work when I've finished my lunchtime run, and do some sit ups before running the last few hundred metres to the office.

Today, I'm doing my sit ups on the grass when I hear a Bristolian accent shout something like "fuck off down the gym and do your sit ups", which I decided to ignore as you do occasionally get odd sorts around and it's best not to engage with them. I carry on as I was, and next thing I know a full coke can flies past inches above my face and lands nearby. The cunt had just thrown a fucking full coke can at me, and only missed my fucking head as I was on the way down on that sit up. I stood up and saw two fat pikey cunt blokes twenty odd metres away with their pikey cunt birds pushing their pikey cunt children along in their pikey cunt pushchairs. I was a bit non-plussed about it all, so just called out "what the fuck was that for?" and the response was "'cos [something indecipherable in a stupid fucking pikey accent]".

I then decided to wander off in the other direction.

I'm fucking fuming. Of course there's nothing I could have done - I'm hardly likely to wander over to two blokes who are bigger than me and start a fight - not least because I'd likely get my head staved in, but also because if by some miracle I did smite them, I'd end up getting prosecuted. After all, they hadn't actually touched me so it's not "self defence" to walk over and belabour them around the head with a tree branch. If that can had actually hit me, and I wasn't unconscious as a result, I may have reacted differently, I suppose. Still, it's one of those things I'm going to be running over alternative responses for for a good couple of weeks.

For fuck's sake - why do people do this sort of thing?

I probably would have thrown it back.

Then ran.

Sorry to hear that dude. Twats.

because their brains have been poisoned by a steady diet of sugary drinks, maccie d's, kfc, curry, pizza, weed, beer, porn and ceebeebies. And they're cunts

RELEASE THE HOUNDS!

What a bunch of fuckwits. I've never liked it when strangers think it's funny to lean out of a car window and yell something 'hilarious' at me as they go past, but that's not really happened in a while.

Jealousy. They probably saw your fine, lithe specimen of a body and wished they could be like you.

@ Kern or Christmas?

Either or.

That does sound like cuntery of the highest order. One hopes that they manage to get hit by a Coca-Cola delivery truck whilst crossing those busy Bristolian streets.

This reminds me of a time, earlier this year (my last run before the marathon, in fact) when I was out for a run and on my way back when a FUCKING CUNT in a FUCKING CAR threw FUCKING COKE out of windows at me, and it hit me in the face.

I stopped and screamed 'FUCKING TWAT' and by god had they not been in a car speeding away there'd have been dead people.

People are just utter, fucking cunts that need death. No redemption, no long-winded musing about how society forms such people, just FUCKING KILL THEM.

what gets to me is how much folks like that breed. Anyone seen Idiocracy? The first 5 minutes of that movie explains why the world is getting stupider. Even though it was supposed to funny, it's so true to how the world works, it chilled me to the bone

You need to move to somewhere nicer, like London.

You clearly deserved it. You were out of line, chap.

Seriously, though, that's just fucking daft. People (and I use the term loosely) are cunts.

actually I remember a time back in the 90's, I was walking into town with my mum and sister on a lovely summer day and some utter arse bandits lobbed an egg out of a car which hit my mum squarely in the back of the head. After a few seconds of total confusion as to what had happened a red mist descended and I took off after the car at a sprint. After 100 yards or so it became clear that I was not, in fact, Superman and couldn't chase down a Vauxhall Nova on foot. BUT IF I HAD..... I probably would've got the shit kicked out of me. I have honestly never felt anger like it, I felt capable of killing at that point. Thankfully my mum was okay, but she didn't feel much like shopping after that.

That was on the other night. It's a stupid, stupid, brilliant film.



What he said, Kissyfur.

Some people really do just need death. Painful, agonising death.

I don't even get that kind of attention. No stranger has ever throw a can at me, or hurled coke/abuse out of a car window either. I wish someone would at least take notice of me, *sob*.

Actually, more power to you for not really responding, that's likely to rile them more than anything else, seeing as they'd probably be well chuffed with getting into a fight about it. in fact they'd be bragging to their mates in the pub about it, later.

I wouldn't have that much self control, at the very least I'd have to shout 'stupid chavs' at them. And then briskly walk away, running as soon as I'm out of sight, of course.

No, really, it sounds like jealosy to me.

Why do they always throw drinks? One leant out of a car window and through a McDonald's milkshake on my nephew when he was just two days old and in his pram - a whole freezing cold milkshake.

Some people are just scummy.

On your own, in the park, you fucking NONCE

Genuine LOL

I don't live in Bristol, of course. That sort of thing would never happen at home in the Cotswolds.

Coke? It would have been a Fentiman's bottle.

Heh. A delightfully chilled Cristal.

We're talking Stroud here, not Bourton-on-the-Water

MrsA works in Cheltenham now, I guess.

I was shot at once, as I was walking down the road. Exciting, that was.

Rodborough, thank you so very much. Which is far nicer than that tourist trap Bourton

In Cheltenham? Were you dressed as a Grouse?

I quite like Bourton. Especially because once there was an "Unemployed Artists" exhibition there. Which amused me no end. I didn't buy anything.

There's a reason locals refer to Cheltenham as "The 'nham", man.

It may have some of the more unwashed parts of the county, but it's a matter of frame of reference, man. Cheltenham ain't no Hackney, Handsworth or Mossside (wtf?).

You should have said, "Next time, make it bottled water darlings, at least I can drink that!"

I suspect what probably happened was one of the chav princesses made some comment about you being "fit" and this got right up their noses into their seething tiny minds and caused a jealous lash out.

sorry for the slur old chap

It was in Reigate, walking up the road to the Beehive pub. Stupid twats missed and drove off. In a Spaxo. I'm gonna tell Westwood when I meet him.

See, you need to start coming out running with me. That'll learn 'em.

I think it's fear of something different that makes them act this way. They are operating on only basic instincts after all. They see something different to their normal and thus it must be exterminated to avoid any potential contamination of their bloodline.

Just as packs of wild animals might snarl at and attack outsiders, so do chavs.

And people think we're evolved and enlightened. Bollocks, we're just pack animals.

I'm not, I'm a 200foot tall robot with lasers for eyes and a rocket launcher hand.

Yew is not a proper gangsta unless you have taken one. Bo!

Do you have any action figures of yourself available?

I apologise for what I did to you in Earth Defense Force 2017.

You should update your xBox avatar then, cos it looks nothing like you describe...

I'm liking Mr Dom more than that other Goatboy introduction of WrestleGnome. He soon buggered off, him.

I know how you feel, they are cunts and do indeed need exterminating.

Never did me any harm.

Yup, because he was busy dealing with moving countries and his daughter's ongoing serious health problems, you insensitive cunt

Ah well. where will he put the mountains?

Cambridge.

I like his style. Okay, you've made a very good case, I don't like Mr Dom more than WrestleGnome.

I was watching a documentary called 'In the Shadow of the Moon' about the moon landings, and the people interviewed on it came across as so humble and lovely and intelligent and full of a deep spirituality and love of knowledge and humanity that I can only conclude that the human race is composed of two different species. Because those twats in that park there can't be of the same stock as those astronauts. No way man.

And yes, Idiocracy is a must see.

I am also enjoying the name 'Rampton Thundergush'.

What a shit thing to happen Mr Chris. In these situations I actually struggle not to laugh at them, as they really are so pathetic.

By which rationale, we should be treating can chuckers as the animals they are... and the more humanely we do that, the more evolved we can claim to be.

We've currently got people walking around shouting about rights that they can't explain the rationale behind. They should be revoked, quite simply - and their happiness placed in the hands of someone who understands how to grant them it without seriously compromising that of others - someone with the wisdom to understand the long-term implications of an act.

Eventually they will do something that isn't