Not a good day.

Derek Joists · **Posted:** Wed Jun 04, 2008 21:45

AceAceBaby wrote:

OK, but my instinct is still to do or say whatever will get her away from him as soon as possible. Waiting and seeing could be giving her a shoulder to cry on when the bad news on the test comes through, or she's been beaten for drug money/had all her stuff pawned. Worst case scenario maybe, but sometimes that's what passivity gets you.

I agree. However, storming in and saying "dump that twat" or whatever is likely to be counter productive. If she feels she can't trust me, there will be nothing I can do, even in a shoulder-crying fashion.

Oh, and the reason this bloke is apparently "better" than her others is he hasn't kicked the crap out of her. Yet.

AceAceBaby · **Posted:** Wed Jun 04, 2008 21:54

Yes. I'm not saying storm in. I'm guessing you know how to go about it.

Derek Joists · **Posted:** Wed Jun 04, 2008 21:59

AceAceBaby wrote:

Yes. I'm not saying storm in. I'm guessing you know how to go about it.

I wish I did. All I can think about is how not to, and how it could go wrong.

Seriously, cheers for what you've said. If I sound pissed off, it's cos I am, but at the situation not at you or anyone here. I'll be seeing her friday or saturday, hopefully can see how she is then.

Steve · **Posted:** Wed Jun 04, 2008 22:19

Derek. I agree with the way you are going about things. Adopting the American "Right let's pile in and sort this out" approach can only lead to resentment. A more subtle touch is needed here. I know tough love and all that works sometimes but it takes a lot of dedication to one person. And it doesn't sound like you have the time/apropriate relationship for that.

Good luck. It will probaly take time with a lot of picking up of pieces in the future. Be there. It is the best you can do.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:45

Derek Joists wrote:

I posted about this elsewhere and got this -

xRedx wrote:

Derek Joists wrote:

A girl I know has started going out with a heroin addict.

That is her own dumb fault.

Fuck's sake, what a cunt.

No real advice from me, but wishing you good luck, fella.

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25594

Ste/Derek,

I have mentioned on this forum before that I went out with a herion addict. I knew him long before he was a heroin addict, when I was 14 and he was 17. He was the most beautiful, intelligent person you could meet. A few years later, when I went to Uni he stayed in London to work. He used to have the odd joint now and again when we watched a movie or whatnot, but never anything stronger. In my second year of Uni the phonecalls tailed off at some point. Unbeknown to me at the time he had started taking heroin. Within a month he was addicted and then dead.

My instincts are to get this girl as far away from the guy as possible, but it's hard when you love someone, or care for them in any way. I loved that person who so quickly wasted his life. I do not know if I can offer any practical advice, but if there is anything you want to ask/discuss, PM me.

Derek Joists · **Posted:** Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:51

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=182191469

As I can't be arsed to write it again.

Also, no internet.

Some people ( althoug I'm not 100% sure who right at his moment) are utter cunts.

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jun 24, 2008 14:08

Maybe Tam knows where he is?

Derek Joists · **Posted:** Tue Jun 24, 2008 18:12

Goddess Jasmine wrote:

Maybe Tam knows where he is?

Maybe. Although, I'm not sure. So much has happened, I don't know who or what to believe right now.

Goddess Jasmine · **Posted:** Tue Jun 24, 2008 18:44

Well take a step back and gather your thoughts. Write them down if need be.

AceAceBaby · **Posted:** Tue Jun 24, 2008 23:19

Derek Joists wrote:

Maybe. Although, I'm not sure. So much has happened, I don't know who or what to believe right now.

Look after yourself, babe. Let other people look after themselves.

MaliA · **Posted:** Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:31

Heh, from Lux Æterna's myspace:

Quote:

I don't accept 99% of friend requests so if you want to add me you need to give me some damn good justifications for doing so, and hey if I accept your request you should feel rather special....

and she has 103 friends.

She's not bad, actually.

Hope you feel better, fella.

Derek Joists · **Posted:** Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:11

Well, had some alcohol last night which was good. Actually, things are feeling ok right now. Gonna spend a few days just drinkign and chilling with friends, hopefully, and things may well look better.

unless, of course, something goes horribly wrong by lunchtime. Which I'm fully expecting it to.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Not a good day.

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