Be Excellent To Each Other

Perhaps that might explain why you have got prematurely jaded with all the travelling, maybe.

Not really, I enjoyed that bit. It's just the guard posts what do make me angry.

Ah, I know what you mean a bit but I like shooty games and so having to do lots of shooting wasn't really putting me off. I quite enjoyed each checkpoint assault as they would go down a bit differently each time, I'd usually park up, get my sniper rifle out, murder as many as possible and then just steam in to finish them off. Or if it's at night sneaking up before throwing a few molotovs near the ammo piles is pretty fun although it's slightly annoying that you can't even throw something without them usually knowing exactly where it's come from, especially since in the first game you could throw stones to distract them.

I suppose if you are just trying to complete the game then it might get a bit tedious though.

Oh I'm all up for sneaky hijinks, that's what I live for in games like this. I just resent any game that relies on psychic guards. Most of the time, I'd circle the camp and pick them off, but even with my purchased extra camo and silenced weapons, they'd know exactly where I was. And also people giving chase in cars, just because I'd bloody passed them on the road. Grr.

A simple disguise mechanic like in Mercs would sort that out, you'd think.

Not been mentioned yet but the boats are a slightly less dangerous way of travelling to certain places on the map, used them quite a bit now that I think about it.

Most of the time, I'd circle the camp and pick them off, but even with my purchased extra camo and rocket launcher, they'd know exactly where I was.

I wonder why.

Dim's rocket launcher obviously had a silencer attached.

Got rid of that in favour of the Grenade Launcher. It's highly irritating that my Gentleman Friend who helps me up when I've fallen over with a case of The Poorlies, hands me a shitty pistol which automatically replaces my boomstick

Yes. The bastard.

Though I found pelting through most checkpoints at full tilt would give you a sufficient headstart to not get caught up by the baddies in their similar (identical) cars/jeeps.

I didn't collect all the diamonds, or all the jackal tapes. Or open all the safe houses. Or take all the telephone intercept missions.

I did the arms dealer ones, as I like guns, and all the main missions (all subverted, natch).

Hopefully this will be landing on my doormat today.

A white hole?

A white hole?

Only joking!

We do appear to have enough players for some Bezzie Action though.

Yep, when this lands on my doormat I'll be up for that.

Should be today.

So is it any good, then?

I don't know. It's on my doormat (possibly).

So is it any good, then?

*aneurysm*

I've just turned the fucking thing off in anger and disgust again. Assaulting the landfill for some spurious mission reason, whereupon lots of men inflict The Poorlies on me. STUPID CRETIN Gentleman Friend then hands me a sodding pistol, removing my sole way of blowing up the objective.

1) Stop getting The Poorlies! Are you playing it on the hardest difficulty or something?

2) Grenades will suffice. Even if you don't have any left, you can loot them off corpseseses.

Buying the grenade launcher seems to have replaced all of my inventory with petrol bombs things. It's a bit difficult not to get The Poorlies when a) your NEW sniper rifle blows up after 3 shots and your man throws it aside, and b) your silenced MP5 thing draws massive aggro as soon as your fire 4 shots off. I am not impressed with this random fucking game.

You can switch between molotov cocktails and grenades easily, by clicking... ummmm... something. I think you have to click the right stick in, and it switches.

I didn't have any problems with guns exploding unless I had used them a lot, so can't help you there.

Both my main weapons* like jamming/exploding from new (with reliability upgrade too)

Hence my comment in the annoyances about weapons jamming. Why?

* Silenced MP5 and Dart Rifle

Dunno why you guys have had trouble with it. I've not had any weapons jam unexpectedly, really. They don't last a particularly long time, but easily enough to complete a mission... two if you're lucky. The dart rifle, for instance, would last well over ten shots before the first time it jammed (and until you get the bandolier you only get five shots). Also, nothing ever exploded until at least the third jam (unless it was nicked off a baddie).

I like it as a feature. It means you have to be careful about wasting ammo, about the state of your weapons, about visiting the gun shop, about relying on being able to just steal guns from the enemy, etc. Sure, it often leads to you needing to run away and slide behind a tree or something, but I think that's the feeling they were going for.

A question. When do the enemies weapons jam? Next to never.

FIVE SHOTS until your gun jams?! It explodes after FIFTEEN?! WTF? What's it made of, glass?

I wouldn't mind the jamming thing if it was offset by the option to maintain your weapons, like a normal mercenary would do. Maybe in a safehouse or something.

Quite. It's absurd.

And it's tedious having to go to a weapons shop nigh on constantly, just because of this particular game mechanic.

So in a Gaywoodgasm, I thought I'd summerise my feelings on how to make this better:
CHANGE THE FIRST! No psychic guards please. Also make it possible not to be attacked by every frigger and his dog by allowing you to put on a groucho mask and cerazy accent to fool them into letting you pass. "No zir! I is not from roun ere! I see man about dog."
CHANGE THE SECOND! Dead enemies STAY DEAD at guard posts. Maybe until a wandering patrol "finds" them and reinforces from a central point. It's make the roads a bit busier seeing a truck full of guards pelting along, plus give a consequence to your actions by making the road a little dangerouser (SHUT THE FUCK UP).
CHANGE THE THIRD! Let me maintain my goddamn weapons honky.
CHANGE THE FOURTH! Let me refuse that pistol after suffering The Poorlies. In fact, let me skip the entire tedious cutsceney bit of the rescue.

I withdraw my complaint about travelling, as the bus works rather well after giving it a try.

Noooo!

For the dart rifle you only get five 'bullets', as they're big neurotoxin darts. You can hold up to ten once you get the bandolier. You can fire all ten without fear of jamming. You can then find some ammo and then you might get a jam around shot 15-18. Maybe again in the 23-25 region... it might explode after 30+

This is but one of your weapons, and by far the most prone to knackered-ness of the ones I used.

For my assault rifle of choice (AR-16) you can probably fire over 300 rounds before it'll jam.

I do think you should perhaps be able to fix your weapons at the safehouses. Though if you purchase the weapons crates you can leave shiny new ones in there. I would recommend this if you get deep into Act Two, as Act Three is jam-o-rific and has no gun shops (but it's still awesome, one absolutely massive continuity hole aside).

I agree with Dimrill's suggestion to maybe use a game mechanism to restock checkpoints. They do respawn enemies slightly too fast, though I personally think it's decided on distance travelled rather than time (I could be wrong).

It's certainly not distance travelled.

Really? I've larked around in the vague vicinity of some of the checkpoints for aaaaages without them respawning. But if I go to another checkpoint, or interesting site sufficiently far away, they respawn.

So, by distance travelled, I mean that as soon as you go past a certain boundary point at a specific distance from a site, the enemies will respawn.

Or more likely, a combination of that and time.

Well, enemies have respawned while I've been in stones throw of some places.

Not on my fucking doormat.

Check your wheelie bin.

Checked them all - nothing.

I killed your wildebeest last night.
While you snored and drooled, I killed your wildebeest.
She called me Daddy.
And I called her baby when I smacked her ass.
I called her sugar when I ate her alive till daylight.
And I slept with her all over me,
from forehead to ribcage I dripped your wildebeest.
Sometimes I thought you might be spying,
living out some brash fantasy, but no.
You were knocked out.
But we were all knocked out you know.
In a way

We didn't know you'd break the bottle
that the magic came in to use those jagged shards
to cut our wrists and neck.
And you'd do it too, you're that kind of wildebeest.
But you wouldn't know what you were doing
because I didn't,
your wildebeest could have been a burn victim,
an amputee, a dead body.
But god damn I wanted to fuck.

I think Dimrill speaks for us all.

They think they know who I am
All they know is I love Gazelles
Face down, dead on the ground
Find me before another is found

I come alive in the darkness
Left murdered and nameless
Dead unburied and rotten
Half eaten by insects

If your covers feel too light
Laugh - your limbs can stretch all night
When your morning is face-free
Smile - you're lucky as can be

Flirt all day and dance all night
Live without the mind game shite
Abstain not from that or this
Sample what the lovers miss

Keep your freedom, save your wealth
Use your time and find yourself
Pity couples, always strut
Wallow and enjoy your rut

Focus not on what you've not
Always live for what you've got
Hope not that you'll come unstuck:
Trust me, love will fuck you up

No Gazelles or Wildebeest. B-

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment what Im thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
Gotta make you understand

* never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've know each other for so long
Your hearts been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know whats been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Dont tell me you're too blind to see

(* repeat)

Give you up. give you up
Give you up, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, five you up

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand how I feel about wildebeest.

(* repeat 3 times)

How odd.

Oh, by the way, fans of the annoying Gentleman Friend Helps You Get Better From The Poorlies... you're really going to enjoy the Annoying Sandstorm Intermission between Act One and Act Two.

OMG TEH SPIOLUS!

The wildebeest didn't die. B-

Can you get any fullbright skins for your enemies? Failing that some thermal vision goggles or something?

I can't see FUCK ALL other than red streaks across the screen indicating where people are emptying their weapons into me from half the time.

I was going to get this but Dimrill, Mr Dave, and now Trousers have dissuaded me. This is good! I am short on both time and money. You guys should hire yourselves out as a negareview service.

The review on Eurogamer put me off a bit but with it being £18 from Play I thought I may as well try it.

To be fair I've not really devoted that much time to it but if there is one thing that annoys the holy royal fuck out of me in gaming it's enemies spotting you from a mile off and shooting you with unnering accuracy as you've slowly inched your way up carefully scouting out as much as you can.

It's all just too brown right now. It may well get better but I can forsee Dimrill-esque rage gripping me as well if it carries on in the same manner.