Be Excellent To Each Other

Mmm, I fancy a kipper tie.

That would doubtless be an improvement, CUS, yes.

Still, I like what you've done with Broad Street where it meets the watery bit. Had a very nice night out there while staying in the Jury's Inn on Broad Street a few years ago.

I think it's Broad Street I mean...

In an instant, the entire midlands suffers billions of pounds worth of improvements

Well, the Chapmobile is in the bodyshop getting the dent repaired so it'll be all nice and proper again for Shunt...

...poor choice of words.

It's not even that the Midlands are particularly good. God knows Thatcher did her best to destroy parts of them </militant>*. But y'know, if you're gonna hate an entire part of the world at least be geographically accurate about it.

Otherwise you are just no better than the average American.

Yeah. I said it.

@Mr. Chris: Broad Street, yus. Never been to it though. Used to work by it, never lived anywhere near it

* waves and winks at Plissken

I bet you're from some in-bred locale where they divide the world into 'here' and 'everywhere else'. And point at aeroplanes.

It's almost like you know me, Ian...

Mind you - when "here" is the best place in the world, "everywhere else" needs less differentiation.

Cheeky cunt.

It's a G-reg 1990.

I... see. Good gods, this place has become a haven for such filth and depravity in my absence.

I wonder if anyone's ever done DP through a gloryhole.

People who smell like they've done a TURD in their fucking PANTS should not be allowed to get public transport, least of all during rush hour. Also if they stand near me again I will VOMIT on their face and tie their hands behind their back so they can't get away from it.

Filth and depravity, I tells ya.

I thought myoptika was cycling to work nowadays?

You will feel pain, Joans, so much pain.

I'll, er, see you next month at Shunt then. Looking forward to it.

Taking all bets - first fall - 2-1 Joans, 3-1 Myop.

Sounds like a cross between Phoenix Wright and Friends...

Wait! That's it! They could call it Phoenix Wright and Friends!

Car woes continue. I park in Mrs Chinnys Dads carpark using a permit. The clamping outfit have clamped me. Mrs Chinnys Dad is lying in wait for their return to try and beat them into submission. We did contemplate an angle grinder or bolt cutters but not enough time.

We think it's because I always laminate my pass so that it doesn't get lost. As a result it doesn't fade. This year they issued red passes and mine is still red but everyone elses has faded to orange. But I've been doing that for the past 3 years so fuck knows what's going on.

The way I see it, if Myoptika is handy with a comb (and that famous parting suggests as much), he might be a bit good with a flick-knife. Possibly, I don't know.

Joans, can we see a picture of your scalp please, before bets are taken?

My scalp suggests I'm handy with a razor.

You ARE a REPORTER for The SUN and I claim my FIVE pounds.

And I don't see why she should single out Craster just because he smells of badgers. A man should have a hobby after all.

Car all sorted. Facist clampers have been outwitted. Phew!

Oh no, jinxed it. It hasn't healed yet, so another fortnight in a cast, totalling 9 weeks with metal holding me together.

Finally got to see my x-ray though. This fascinates me on the same level CG's brain must have done to him.

Woah. How did you do that?

I'm no doctor but there appear to be some alarming gaps where your bones should be.

Crashed a motorbike into a tractor a couple of months ago

Pfft. Who needs bones? Gaps is where it's at.

fucking hell did you do it yourself?

Pretty, isn't it!

It looks like the surgeons opened me up and poured a box labelled 'Misc. bits of metal' into my arm. I can only hope everything there has a reason to be.

Chicks dig gaps, dude.

Jeez, Nyn

Big love to you. I knew that you had an accident and injured yourself, but what's witht he eiffel tower scaffolding in your arm?

Much love to you, and good luck on yor next trip through an airport

Only if they like dungarees. And you only get those if you are a mod.

New poll question.

...and the other is Morse.

Um, what are the bots actually for?

A Top Banana rating, yesterday.

Looks like you're screwed.

So, I guess if you just edit the question, rather than the options it doesn't reset the votes?
Otherwise we seem to have a lot of badgers on the forum.

Definitely, definitely not.

Well, a little bit.

You're gonna be a bad mutherfucker.

FTFY

We need a "maybe" option.

They seem to have fixed 9for2's arm with bolts and nails, and then accidentally left in a bent paperclip, which has sunk to the bottom...

Unexpected new poll, I must say. Unexpected results, too - some of our members must be secret ringers. Badgers in disguise.

Nyn's arm looks like the solution to one of those physics puzzles with the turny things and the sticks. What happens when you make it go, Nyn?

It spins round faster and faster then flies off?

Nothing. They used to, handily, tell you if you were being spidered by a search engine. Now all the names have changed, they're effectively useless.
Chalk that one up to Dimrill, he started it.

Nah it was me, I changed GoogleBot to FBI. Dimrill asked me to change the YahooBot to something else, I can't remember.

-edit-

I also changed them to Columbo and Morse yesterday, in a fit of boredom.

IT'S BRIAN BLESSED.