Get a second opinion from a car mechanic.

Is the central locking sluggish. Does the ignition click and the starter motor half rotate? In which case it’s the battery probably. If you turn the ignition and you can put lights, fans, wipers on, then it’s more likely to be the starter motor. Hit it with a mallet

I have acquired jump leads. What will a jump start prove?

Not a great deal, but it might get you a running car.

I reckon it's battery, considering it's been sitting for a while.

Also, do a quick google search on jump starting cars, as you can fry fuses or worse sometimes, if you do it wrong.

I have also acquired a mobile mechanic for tomorrow afternoon.

*Waves*

If you have too little regard and get you + and - mixed up, bad things occur.

How did you get it off again?

Didn’t that completely bork the battery?

Yeah, my jump starter battery thingy says there is a "risk of explosion" if you connect the negative lead to the terminal.

Only due to sparks, though.

Charging batteries have a habit of exploding though, they release... A Gas when charging then when you disconnect the leads there's sparks then bang! It happened to a guy I worked with, but he was a twat so I didn't care.

Everything always fits, it's just a matter of how much fabrication. Depends if he wants a bonnet hump or not!
That sump isn't going to get in that gap...

Everything always fits, it's just a matter of how much fabrication. Depends if he wants a bonnet hump or not!
That sump isn't going to get in that gap...

Fit it upside down.

It, uh, might. It might end up a press fit engine.

Keep pressing harder until it fits?

I’m sure most of the time nothing will happen if you connect to correct terminals. It’s more that modern cars are complex electronically and you can fry expensive bits of circuitry if you’re unlucky. Last time I looked, the recommendation was to run heaters, lights, radio, engine etc on the healthy car, and connect the negative clip on the receiving car to a metal part of the engine bay, not the terminal.

other than that I never remember which order to put them on and take them off

Makes no difference.

Negative first, less likely to clatter the body with a positively charged spanner.

I thought MOTs got suspended?

I think there is a six month allowance now, so you won't get in trouble. But many garages are still doing services, MOTs and repairs if only to keep keyworkers able to get safely to work.

I just popped out and the roads were so empty I had to use my cruise control to stop myself from speeding.

That’s right, but does hat mean that all subsequent dates will be pushed back? The uk.gov website doesn’t make this clear. I needed the service and other work anyway, so it was convenient to do the MOT at the same time.

Wow, up to 84bhp!

Think you should focus more on aero now to keep it planted with the extra power.

The mdf body kit should help there.

The mdf body kit should help there.

Base 124bhp Hacktewally!