Be Excellent To Each Other

It’s a probably more involving drive than a Golf, granted.

Not me silly, Quentin.

I have successfully Google Tato Nano and would like one in yellow. It looks like a toddler’s first trainer.

To be fair you would make even this look awesome Meems.

Tata designed it down to the bare bones of functionality where the idea was "get 4 people to work and back for as cheaply as possible over shit roads" and made a car that sells for a quarter of the price of the cheapest car for sale in the US, and people are deriding it for "being a bit shit because it is designed down to be cheap and take 4 people to work over shit roads"?

Weirdos. The fact they decided to do it was ace, and doing it is wonderful.

All the best cars are yellow.

Maybe I was being a bit harsh but I just can't see anything good about that car except the price. Who in their right mind would buy that when $2500 can get you a decent second hand car that won't kill you in a minor crash and isn't made out of tin foil? Turns out not that many people.

And what of Tata's racing heritage?

Jaguar

Ah, just a rebadge then like VW do with their Porsches.

Yes, WHAT INDEED. Who can overlook the world reknown Tata only “Tata for now” 24-minute endurance race, comprising of race developed, completely standard cars save for a cynical paint job and rather shit, incongruous body kit? Eh? EH? M Division take note, bloody amateurs.

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MOTORSPORT111111

Today is absolutely the right day to have a "to home and back on my own" 30 mile test drive in the superb, sunglasses weather before the cold and snow later.

Goes like stink. Makes lovely farty noises when changing up under hard acceleration using the flappy paddles. Nice comfy ride despite stupid wheels and suspension.

(Cue Cavey rage)

My 535d is worth hilariously little, autotrader tells me.

Cavey! Cavey! I've ordered a Superb! Did I do it right?!

Only if you picked it in Dragon Green

Nope. Have you ever seen the beige convertible Cortina with a roof that looks like it was hand crafted from some old bits of tent awning and with Cadillac style pointy bits on top of the rear wings? It's exactly as awesome as it sounds.

Nice big, comfy motor and very good value, I like the estate!
What's the exact spec? Sounds like you've (quite sensibly) gone for a big engine

I'll be in my bunk

Sport Line 280 estate - the 280PS 2l 4 pot on crack out of the Seat Leon, with DSG and Torsen diff and 20mm drop over the other trims.

Black paint, black windows, black interior, black wheel highlights. Electric heated everything because we're too old for this fucking cold, man.

It's a bit weird having to make an engine work to go but I need some fun back in my commute and it does that in spades. More road noise from the rubber bands on the front than I'd like but it's superior to the beemer in every other way (the way I use it). Well, a bit more understeery, but thats dealt with the same way, just moreso.

280PS certainly not to be sniffed at - and with proper Torsen LSD as well!
Definitely approve of sinister black paint job... quite the Q-car, you're going to have an amusing time picking off the opposition. Good stuff.

(I'm so with you on the heated seats front, too.... sadly the GT4 can't have them with its carbon chairs, but they're a must-have for me for anything I'm expected to drive in winter!)

damn.

Seats, wing mirrors, windscreen, washer nozzles and steering wheel to go with the climate control. Fuck scraping windows and shivering while it gets to temp.

It doesn't take long to get to temp. Not when it's a dealer demo anyway.

A heated steering wheel is one of the cheapest options that can be added to most BMWs (I think they're £185) but no-one ever fucking selects it, and I don't understand why. I had a heated steering wheel in the LEAF and I miss it every single fucking day.

I'd even take a heated wheel over heated seats if I had to choose between the two.

It’s not too late to change. It looks fabulous in the metal.

The only weird colour was yellow. But I wasn't in the right VAG shop. Because I can't afford one. Also I'm not allowed.

Gaz - it's one of those things that seems like a stupid pointless thing until you try it then WHY THE FUCK DO CARS HAVE DISC BRAKES STANDARD BUT NOT HEATED STEERING WHEELS.

I kind of knew Helen would find it a benefit on her commute but wasn't convinced for me (despite having had an EP3 civic type r with machined ball of hell frozen over gearknob needing a glove in winter) while she didn't agree and then we tried it and both knew that our new cars both had to have it or it was a no sale.

Never had a heated steering wheel, but it sounds awesome.

Heated grips are apparently fabulous on bikes, too, which given the wind blast/chill to your hands on a motorbike, I can well believe. It wasn’t an option on the CVO though, sadly. That’s as basic as basic gets assessories wise.

The apprentice at work has some gloves that plug into his bike, which seems like a decent idea. He probably needs them though since he comes in on the thing even if there's a hurricane force blizzard outside.

Yeah, poor sod, that was me at 18. Fair play to him.
I’m far to much of an old ponce these days to even consider taking the bike out if there’s so much a flake of snow or even a drop of rain, it puts you off for life. Bouncing down the road on your arse still doing 50mph, isn’t the best.

He seems to like it most of the time. He had a massive grin on his face the other day after he'd been let out on some Ducatti or other for some bigger bike lessons.

Who can blame him! Ducati ....mmmm. Italian sexiness all round, fabulous machines one and all. The Artisan’s choice.

Whoops, Haldex not Torsen. Though I did see something today that implies it has an LSD of some sort, I need to find out more. Also apparently Haldex gen 5 can put 100% of torque to the rear, so it's not fwd with occasional partial 4wd any more.

A Revo remap takes it to 320bhp and a 150 racechips plugin box sharpens throttle response. I probably won't while it's on finance though

I nipped out for some firelighters this morning and bought a new car. It's a funny spearmint colour. I'm going to be ever so disappointed if when I get it home on Friday and can give it a lick, it doesn't taste like soft mints.

That is properly impressive accidental shopping. What is it?

Fiesta Titanium X.

It's catching!

(pics when you get it pls!)

Ooh, what did you get?

From the website:

Minty fresh!

I'm envious that you get it in under a week!

It's duck egg! Looks awesome, love those Fiestas.

Oh, no, I've not bought one - Jem would slice me up into tiny cubes and feed me to the cats.

I just meant the "going out for not-a-car and coming back with-a-car" situation, which I've found myself in many times over the past few years

Hey, speaking of which, interested in a MK3 mx5 launch edition?

Love it Jazzy, super smart and top spec too! Great handler as well; best small car out there.

Thanks guys. I do have a Titanium already (not the X) but it's approaching 80k miles now. It also needs work doing for the MOT in a couple of weeks, so decided to spend the money on an upgrade instead.

I don't really like reversing sensors, but having the camera on makes a massive difference. It's like it has two boots too!

Took me a second to engage my brain when I was trying to turn the engine off and there were no keys in the ignition!

Well it is second hand and on the forecourt (well, around the back now). Aren't you having a new one?

Yeah. Up to 3 months! I want my cake and to eat it!

Does it do the magic parking like the Focus TitX?

3 months!

I don't think so, there is some sort of parking button, but I don't know what it does get.

I'm not sure I would trust the magic parking.

Pretty sure that button turns off the beepy sensors.

Or turns on the front ones.

But why would the front and back ones be separate?

Anyway, tune in on Friday for an exciting update!

Rear parking sensors come on automatically when you go into reverse. Front ones normally need to be activated manually when you are parking forwards as you’d get them going off all the time when driving in traffic.