Never really seen much point to headlight washers.

I Have never had a car with headlight washers /wipers.

The number of times I ever wished this not the case is 0. They seem, if not entirely pointless, at least a niche requirement.

So why do headlamps need a washer system at all? Most people think it is so that dirt cannot dim the light. This is only partly true, and in fact, this wouldn’t be a particularly crucial concern with xenon lights, which have such a very high light output. The main reason for the requirement is that dirt can impair the optical features of the headlamp and cause glare. Incidentally, headlamps which are only slightly soiled cause a stronger glare, and of course the brighter the headlamp, the stronger the glare.

Why are headlamp washers even a thing anyway? It seems to me like an answer in search of a question.

Remember in the 80s when posh cars even had little mini wipers on the headlamps? I think that was just something they did to make the car look more expensive and charge an extra few hundred quid for, until they could start fitting CD players or something.

My Type-R didn't have any sort of washer system for the headlamps and never once did I think 'Oooohhh those headlamps could do with a wash', or certainly nothing that wasn't sorted by the normal washing of the car.

I call shenanigans.

Seriously?

If you can find someone on the island with VCDS, they can adjust the washer frequency or completely disable it for you.

A couple of mates at work both have VAGCOMs which I always think sounds rude and is also another name for VCDS.

I do need to go round and see one of them as one of the other things I want to do is enable the bluetooth functionality on the MMI.

Apparently all 3G MMI systems have the bluetooth dongle thingy in them, but Audi didn't enable it unless the original purchaser specified Bluetooth for an extra £800 or whatever. As such, you can actually enable it for free if you have your VAGCOM doohickey. It's just a couple of options in a menu somewhere.

I may get the washer frequency changed as well. Every 10 zaps like in the Merc sounds good.

It's not a 911.

It's vile, but to each their own.

I've got a pair of shoes like that.

But: red and green should never be seen.

Fair do's mate; unless you're in the habit of having to transport two very small kids in the tiny rear seats, the Cayman is much the better car - lighter, much cheaper, better handling, similar performance. Sometimes people say to me the old Clarkson line "you got a Cayman because you couldn't afford a 911" and I always say "yup, you're right I can't afford one, or at least the 911 I would want", which stymies them somewhat.

If it wasn't for the Boxster/Cayman, I honestly don't know what cars I'd have been driving these last 10 years or so.

No, you're right, dude.
The Cayman GT4 is not MaliCool.

I think the two are quite different, though? A rear engined 2+2, conpared to a 2 seater mid engined thing. I think tbe Cayman is the prettier. It looks svelte and frisky . The 911s look plump and middle aged.

911Rs on the secondhand market go for £700,000.

No, you're right, dude.
The Cayman GT4 is not MaliCool.

Christ, a 996 is less than a year's nursery.

Christ, a 996 is less than a year's nursery.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/ ... obcid=soc3



That is.

928 or go home, IMO.

Well all the stats I've seen put the horrible failure rate at around 10%, and this is on the dodgiest of the early 3.4s, with the 2001 revision of the 3.4 being better and the later 3.6 pretty much sorted.

You want a GT-R really.

I'm not sure what "stats" you've "seen", but I'm talking about the collective (albeit anecdotal) opinions of Porsche enthusiasts at countless Oulton meets; guys who actually track and race these things and who, if you snapped them in half, would probably bear the Porsche logo like a stick of rock. I should note, also, that the cross section of vehicles spans from a 996 GT2, various GT3s and umpteen Caymans, all the way through to 968s and 944s. I myself am a whippersnapper only on my 4th Porsche, some of these guys have had 20, and used them vastly more intensively.

As I've said, this subject matter comes up again and again; I'm not going to pretend to understand the mechanics of the (multiple) problems underpinning the issues but if these guys say they're "undetectable and can strike - in an engine-lunching kind of way - at any time", and has actually happened to some of them, well, I'm gonna listen. That's me, I guess.

But hey, I'm sure your armchair-based enquiries count for so much more. Seriously mate, why do I bother. You're never gonna change.

Have you driven a GT-R, Cavey? And I mean properly driven one in anger, not just taking one up the road?