Be Excellent To Each Other

It was supposed to evoke "visual" imagery

Giphy "slap":
https://media1.giphy.com/media/RdnJnbQ0lYGCQ/giphy-loop.mp4

Did anyone have calipers? Come on down to collect your prize.

Again?

It explains the mysterious rumbling sound I noticed this morning.

Do you write with that screwdriver, Wookie?

I noticed the other day that the SubaruhuhohohPokerface hasn't a belt connecting the engineblock to the aircon whatnot. Clearly, this is A Sign to talk to MrsA about a supercharger now there is a spare wheel belt thing.

I learnt to drive in a hilly area so I instinctively apply the handbrake when parking, even here on the great Oxfordshire plain. Is this a bad habit? Is it hurting my brakes?

I use it to write love letters to your mum

No, the salt on the roads is. In fact using it more probably helps prolong its life

Kern parking his car, here:

'When did you last parallel park, Kern?'

'The day I passed my test.'

Our new Focus has a button for that.

Handbrake turns? Awesome!

It has a lever for them

what is a lever? I have one of those electronic hand brakes. So does my neighbour across the road, discovered when her car was parked on my lawn...

The 5GT does too, but I've discovered that using it causes me interminable stress so I tend not to bother.

Likewise

Ah, she thought they were from Guy Fawkes, post torture.

I didn't even do it on my test. Reverse parking and turn-in-the-road.

The parallel park on my test was the best one I have ever done, by miles.

Actually, thinking about it, the parallel park may have been on a test I failed (not for that reason); I think I did a reverse park on the test I passed.

I lost confidence in parallel parking for many years but weirdly with the CLK I've got it back, despite it being the longest car I've owned.

I can't imagine not having to parallel park. Where do you, you know, park?

I avoid it if I can. Only seem to need the manoeuvre when I'm picking up parcels from the post office as there's sometimes a shortage of spaces.

Car parks. We have space in the frozen post-conservative northern wastelands

My house, my work, shops all have parking spaces. The rear visibility in my car is so poor I wouldn't dare parallel parking.

I must confess I did once play the 'We'll be safer in an accident' card when Hearthly Jnr was a baby.

I reckon keep schtum until the deal is done.

I bought the GT4 without saying a word, and then *telephoned* the "good" news, reasoning that any fallout arising from an entirely unbudgeted, unwarranted and completely unexpected six-figure purchase would be best dealt with from afar.

I just blurted out "b-babe, I've done a bad thing" and her instant response was "you've bought a fucking car, haven't you"

The Rover is a similar tale

First service this weekend.... I get to have the new 4-cyl turbo Cayman as the courtesy car for a few days.
I've heard the flat-four engine is gash (the rest of the car sublime), but it'll be interesting for sure. I'm not holding out too much hope, given that I hate four cylinder engines and turbochargers....

Huh. That is a bit of a step down. If i were the place, I'd have thrown a 911 at you as you might come back and buy one. You are unlikely to want to buy that courtesy car.

I did say that, but (a) they know how unlikely it is I will ever part with the GT4, given that I was kissing it in their car park and (b) the only thing that would have any chance of doing so would be a GT3RS (NB: in red). Unfortunately they don't have £250k hand built racers on their courtesy car fleet.

Serious question:

Assuming Brexit happens and it is shit, and your car needs a new McGuffin, would it be cheaper to drive to Germany and fit it ther, rather than pay uk garage mark ups on it with import tax and everything? Would you have to declare a new automotive part that is fitted?

No idea mate, I'm trying not to think about it.
I suppose in the same vein that I can't seriously believe all flights will cease upon Brexit, then equally I can't believe that all concerned will make such a clusterfuck of everything that I won't be able to even get car parts and suchlike.

But yes, if all else fails, pretty sure Porsche would look after me if it really came down to stuff like that, and I'd be quite prepared to take the car back to Germany if needs must. I love Germany!

You'll need a competent navigator, someone fluent in German and who doesn't weigh that much. As I don't have a passport, take Mr Dave.

I do have a half German wife, I can take her.
Gotta love German engineering, right?

My brain missed the word "dog"

And there was me thinking you loved my Celica

I know it's totally weird and inconsistent but I *do* love your Celica, it's a fucking legend of a car (plus the fact my old boss used to have the preceding model which had been fettled by Lotus, and horribly light steering aside, I bloody loved it). Plus, man, look what you've done to it; I know we have our disagreements but I'll say it straight out: you are my fucking hero for the paint job alone. Bravo sir, bravo.

I guess the turbo is "in keeping" with the brief - it's a rally car, who gives a shit about absolute throttle response, the name of the game here is traction, handling, grip and maximising every lost drop of engine power from the homologated engine.

I love the Ferrari F40 too!

Lend me 40k plz

https://torque-gt.co.uk/car/datsun-240z/

Nismo crap

Yeah I'd rip that engine out and replace with my 1.9 TDi, obv.

God, I fucking love 240z/280zs

First thing I'd buy if I won the Lottery.

What if you only won a tenner?

BMW 120d

I always loved the little 240z when I was a kid; I had the Corgi toy of it, in my prized possession. In retrospect it's certainly a pretty little thing, albeit I can think of better cars to blow £40k on.

I'm rather less keen on the 280z, which is a bit of a bloater though I'm afraid, built for the American market.

If I had £40k to spend on a 1970s classic, it would have to be an immaculate and original Escort RS2000 Custom (Mark 2), still with Pinto engine all present and correct (fuck off with your Escort Cosworth retrospective engine transplants - sacrilege). These were the cars of my youth, Essex legends one and all.

Still, each to his own.

Purely aesthetics.

I would be in very big trouble from Mrs Z.