Be Excellent To Each Other

Come again?

New car eta is 25th October. Which will undoubtably slip a little but will still marry up with end of lease and most importantly before due date.

Surely due date is when car arrives?

Given the last time my lease ended we left a two week gap between old car and nu car, and the boy got the cancers the day after the old car went back (I had to get an extremely expensive rental to go to oxford for a week and then come back to return it and pick up the new car) I'm rather keen to have no gaps in car ownership when the wife is ready to shit a baby out.

So here's where I've ended up with the whole 'keyless' scenario, I use the recess in the door-grabby thing to put my keys in, which is basically a less good ignition.

Also, I use the button on the outside door handle to lock the car when I leave it (it will lock if the key is in range when you press the button), so one of these days I'm obviously going to leave the key inside the car, get out, close the door, press the button, and lock it. (This is handy if you do keyless 'properly', and have the keys in your pocket, or something.)

Unless it's clever enough not to do that. Maybe I'll test it when I have the other key/blippy thing to hand. Oh but hang on since the key is still in range the button will just unlock it again.

Then again, since I now have to pick up my keys when I get out of the car, I should just use the blipper to lock it, then that situation can't arise.

Overall I give keyless 425/1000.

It's clever enough not to lock the keys in the car, or even the boot.

You'll need a long handled screwdriver, towel and a wire coat hangar bent to make a hook.

Put the towel on the roof by the top corner of the door, furthest from the hinge. Insert the blade of the screwdriver between the roof and the door, using the towel to protect the paintwork. Lever the door away from body just enough to get the coat hangar in. Fish for door lock, or key ring using the coat hangar. Unlock car and drive away.

Screwdrivers can bend the door skins. You're much better off with an airbag.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/air-bag-wedge

If this is testing whether it's possible to lock the keys in, just leave a passenger in the car surely?

I had to call out the AA last week because I locked my keys in the boot.

I'm not sure if either Russell or I posted it here, but we had our car stolen over a month ago. It's taken ages and we still don't have the insurance money (though have settled on a figure), but we do finally have a new set of wheels!

It's pre-owned, but not done many miles and has been well taken care of. Personalised plates because shiny.

Well jelly of the personalised numberplates.

Is the cup holder in the ashtray?

It genuinely has a double cup holder, because... priorities.

Amazing, aren't they? They're proper engraved plates and everything

Aw, bless him!!
Awesome!

I'd have killed for one of those as a child.

Perhaps he did, too.

The best (apart from numberplates/cup holders/actual key in ignition (!)/petrolpump) thing is that the floor lifts out so he can Fred Flinstone himself along and then if his little legs get tired I can just pop the floor in and use the little handle in the back of the car to push and steer him along. I want to make a set of furry dice and a magic tree made of felt.

Close up of cup holders.

Can you get it remapped?

Three probably a lot of potential. The ignition key spins all the way round for example so I reckon.

You could go full "Max Darwin" with bigger wheels, overpowered stereo and a load of stickers down the doors.

The emissions can be somewhat unpleasant, but it's possible

Hellaflush

Lovely photos Mimi!

Off to Nürburgring and Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps, sailing Thursday.

Mrs C will be riding shotgun, and I'm insisting on playing Ridge Racer 7 soundtrack whilst I go round. Sure she'll be delighted

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

If you're anything like me you'll have grand plans for the music you'll listen to, and then drive around without any because you're concentrating.

Also, I found my mouth got really dry. Report back if that happens to you, too!

Dry mouth?
I'm packing Tenna pants for men, mate.

I'm doing some filming today... I think you lot would like it here.

You can hear Going for Gold there, as it's clearlt Shed Seven.

Is that the Black Country Living Museum?

Nope. It's a place called Westfield in Kingswinford.

Well those are excellent place names!

Pfft.

Very nice. I think Caterhams are the better car, but I certainly wouldn't say no to a Westfield.

That sign is really dirty

"Part of the shortis group" is the finishing touch there.

I never noticed that!

Keyless bollocks.

It was pissing down when I left work for the walk back to my car, so I put on my sturdy raincoat and put the keys in one of its front pockets, as you would.

Walked down to the car. Got wet. When I got there the KEYLESS MAGIC was quite good* as it let me open the door without fishing out the keys, opened the back passenger side door, hung the coat over the back of the passenger seat (so it would drain onto the floor, and not the back seat). Opened the front passenger door, put my other stuff on the seat, closed door. Went round to the driver's side of the car, got in.

Drove home, and by now it's REALLY pissing down. Grabbed my stuff off the passenger seat, got out, closed the driver's door and pressed the button to lock the door. It didn't lock. Went to get the keys out of my pocket thinking there may be a BUTTON MALFUNCTION and was like 'Oh bollocks they're still in my coat, hanging over the back of the passenger seat'.

So then I had to walk around to the other side of the car. RAIN RAIN RAIN. Open door, grab coat, close door, and then I could lock the door with the button on the passenger side door handle.

None of this would have happened if I'd just had to put the keys into an ignition at the start of the journey, and withdraw them again at the journey's end - as would have happened in the good old days.

380/1000 for Keyless Wankery. It's an answer to a question no one ever asked.


* But not much of an improvement really, because when I used to walk back to my car in the rain, I'd get the key out of my coat pocket and blip the car as I got in range, so it's not like the keyless bobbins really saved me any time in particular.

Apart from the keyless wankery, how's the car?

Does it have the magic boot? That's a fucking godsend when you're carrying shit.

Wouldn't you still have had to get your coat, regardless of keyless? In fact, the keyless meant you didn't forget your coat.

My dad had to go to a DVLA testing centre to see whether he's fit to drive, following a few health issues recently.
He has apparently passed their test ok so will keep his licence, though I still have my own concerns about a 78 year old with hip problems and a diagnosis of the early stages of Parkinsons being on the road.

Now I have to help him find an automatic Yeti to replace his manual Nissan Juke.
Anyone want to buy a low mileage Juke?

The mistake you’re making here is trying rationalise his words into cohesive thought processes.

I see loads of those around, they seem very popular. A yeti is a great name for a car.

I got a learners licence last week

It's a brilliant name, but they've decided to call the replacement the Karoq which is just some bland designed by committee marketing bullshit.

Congrats. When's your first lesson?

I don’t know yet. I need to work out what I’m looking for and how it all works. There was a driving lesson car (? Probably not what they’re called) that passed me today with the little standee saying ‘Mike’s Driving School’ or similar (can’t remember the chap’s actual name) and across the back window in huge white vinyl letters was JESUS SAVES. Anyway... I don’t want that chap, as I don’t think I want to trust in the lord to save me when I crash... would rather not crash, but also because I’m pretty sure that must obscure the view from the back window? Also, because I’d be worried that anyone who wanted to make a religious message such a large statement in his driving lesson vehicle had other motives than helping people learn to drive. I know I’m overthinking it, but it really bothered me.