Be Excellent To Each Other

Send us some of those trance mixes, Hearthly.

Does exactly what it says on the tin

Hmm not sure if I've cleared the limp mode problem by giving my car a bit of an 'Italian tune-up' on the drives to and from work this week. Might have been the ghosts settling down after the new temp sensor being fitted. Fingers crossed.

I suppose keep starting the track again is one way to make it neverending

I once had a very cheap CD headunit in my first car that couldn't remember where it got to on a CD, so would always start from the beginning. That was annoying.

I think it was wired in properly, as the clock and radio station memories would remain.

AUDI ANNOYANCE.

The headlamp washers do their thing every single time I do a wash-wipe on the windscreen if the headlights are turned on.

This is a bad thing for an obvious reason, namely that in the winter there is a lot of shit getting thrown up off the roads, which necessitates fairly liberal use of the wash-wipe, and my headlights are on pretty much all the time I'm driving at this time of year. Therefore as the car also takes it upon itself to launch several gallons of water at the headlamps every time I use the wash-wipe, the bottle empties annoyingly quickly. (Which incidentally, doesn't have the most generous of capacities.)

It's definitely in 'slight irritant' territory rather than 'definite problem', but it seems an odd design choice. In the Merc for example, by default the headlamp washers would activate automatically every tenth application of the wash-wipe during a single driving session, but there was a button you could press to activate the headlamp washers separately if desired.

This seems to me like a better system.

The Germans should form a new company called Audercedes and sort this shit out.

My Clio was exactly the same.

Never really seen much point to headlight washers.

I Have never had a car with headlight washers /wipers.

The number of times I ever wished this not the case is 0. They seem, if not entirely pointless, at least a niche requirement.

The law is you must have them if you have xenon headlamps.

-edit- or it was. Now it seems to be only if you have headlamps that produce over 2000 lumens.

It's about making sure dirt doesn't cause glare and dazzle other road users.


https://www.carlightblog.com/2013/10/22 ... er-system/

It appears it's now required for any halogen or LED lights over 2000 lumens (dipped beam only).

Why are headlamp washers even a thing anyway? It seems to me like an answer in search of a question.

Remember in the 80s when posh cars even had little mini wipers on the headlamps? I think that was just something they did to make the car look more expensive and charge an extra few hundred quid for, until they could start fitting CD players or something.

My Type-R didn't have any sort of washer system for the headlamps and never once did I think 'Oooohhh those headlamps could do with a wash', or certainly nothing that wasn't sorted by the normal washing of the car.

I call shenanigans.

Seriously?

He has you on ignore.

As do we all.

Somehow I managed to post my reply without having ingested myp's further posts on the matter.

The last one I saw before replying was the one about his Clio being the same.

Amusingly the washers stopped working on the Clio - when I took it to the garage pre-MOT he said not to worry as my car was old enough for the law not to apply. I laughed as he passed my MOT because why would they put washers on them if it didn't need it?

Well, same reason they put headlights that "look" around bends on the car? It helps.

If you can find someone on the island with VCDS, they can adjust the washer frequency or completely disable it for you.

A couple of mates at work both have VAGCOMs which I always think sounds rude and is also another name for VCDS.

I do need to go round and see one of them as one of the other things I want to do is enable the bluetooth functionality on the MMI.

Apparently all 3G MMI systems have the bluetooth dongle thingy in them, but Audi didn't enable it unless the original purchaser specified Bluetooth for an extra £800 or whatever. As such, you can actually enable it for free if you have your VAGCOM doohickey. It's just a couple of options in a menu somewhere.

I may get the washer frequency changed as well. Every 10 zaps like in the Merc sounds good.

Nobody ever talks about why we have headlamp washers on cars. It's like some sort of big secret no one will ever contemplate. We should discuss and challenge this system.

I've had a few things enabled and tweaked on my Octavia. Nothing worth £800 but you can certainly save a fair bit of cash that way.

According to the Porsche rumour-mill I have one ear permanently tuned to ( ), the RennSport Cayman is - fucking finally - about to become reality (at least in minute numbers to keep the polar bear huggers happy). I'm told the mighty 718 GT4-RS is going to have the glorious 4.0 litre 991.2 GT3-RS naturally aspirated engine (albeit not quite as glorious as the motorsport-derived, legendary "Mezger" engine it replaced due to some emissions BS or other) - and the 911R's re-engineered six speed manual gearbox - shoehorned in. Price will be at least £90,000, but it'll be a vicious Ferrari killer.

Shame most of them will rocket to about £300,000 in value and never be used in anger. Me? I'd keep mine forever and use it as my daily driver, but then, I'm a Porsche enthusiast, not some arsehole investor. As for Porsche UK, they'd never let the great unwashed like me anywhere near their tiny allocation, either, so that's that then. Oh well, I'll be admiring from afar.

I might try writing direct to the factory, though, offering a guaranteed "no sell" contract on my part. Do they want people to drive their masterpieces, or not?
Viper Green, please!


Here's a link. Looks like the brute-of-brutes "Widowmaker" GT2-RS is incoming, too - rear wheel drive natch, but this incarnation with 700-odd bhp and barely road legal slick tyres. Yikes, that'd be an interesting proposition in the ice, what a nice, forgiving car I'm sure it is. (Feck me, the rwd mere GTS is bad boy enough, the back squirms and shuffles all over the road in the dry and she wants to kill you... these Porkers bite)

http://www.autoexpress.co.uk/porsche/ca ... -the-cards

Btw, here's a non-RS GT4 in Viper Green.
Filth.

Not a fan of the Cayman, I have to be honest.

What don't you like about it?
I'm totally biased, obv, but I absolutely ADORE it ( ), not just in the looks - to my eyes it's an impossibly exotic, beautifully made, mid-engined piece of exotica that can be had for the same sort of money as a low to mid spec 3-series or A4 diesel (FFS), and in terms of its raison d'être - handling - you have to spend six figures to get better (Lotus Exige and Caterhams et al possibly excepted, but this is a car you can use as a daily driver, not some leaking Norfolk shed or kit car track curiosity)

I honestly, honestly cannot see what's not to like. Not just like, either, but love. But hey, tastes vary for sure.

It's not a 911.

It's vile, but to each their own.

I've got a pair of shoes like that.

But: red and green should never be seen.

Fair do's mate; unless you're in the habit of having to transport two very small kids in the tiny rear seats, the Cayman is much the better car - lighter, much cheaper, better handling, similar performance. Sometimes people say to me the old Clarkson line "you got a Cayman because you couldn't afford a 911" and I always say "yup, you're right I can't afford one, or at least the 911 I would want", which stymies them somewhat.

If it wasn't for the Boxster/Cayman, I honestly don't know what cars I'd have been driving these last 10 years or so. But these Porsches aren't for everyone, far from it; most people would spend that sort of money on a much faster (on paper) sledgehammer V8 Merc AMG or somesuch, not a little rapier like the Cayman. More fool them.

... A Cayman GT4 is 'vile'?
Wow. Oh well, more left for me.

No, you're right, dude.
The Cayman GT4 is not MaliCool.

I think the two are quite different, though? A rear engined 2+2, conpared to a 2 seater mid engined thing. I think tbe Cayman is the prettier. It looks svelte and frisky . The 911s look plump and middle aged.

Change the brake caliper color to orange, add black zebra stripes* and we're there.

* Some guy i see fairly regularly on the road has had his A3 wrapped in black and white dazzle camoflage. That would be a tricky insurance claim "how was I meant to know which way it was going, that's why I hit it?"

I broadly agree (unless we're talking about the "super" 911s like the GT3, GT3-RS or 911R, but in that case you're spending £120k+ even assuming Porsche will let you have one, which they won't. 911Rs on the secondhand market go for £700,000. I wish I was joking ... people sure hate that turbo engine, huh)

It's a cachet/snob-factor thing, I think. To the layperson, 911 is more expensive and iconic than the Cayman, so it's better, right?
Wrong

Yup.
They're worth at least SIX TIMES their £130,000 list price - that's how much petrolheads HATE eco-turbos.
A half a million quid premium is a lot to pay - but if I had millions in the bank, I'd pay it. What price that soaring, spine-tingling 9,000 RPM flat-six hollow wail?

http://www.autocar.co.uk/car-news/new-c ... 31-million

Christ, a 996 is less than a year's nursery.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/ ... obcid=soc3



That is.

Until you factor in running costs and repairs.

I've thought about it, believe me.

I wouldn't mate - self destruct engines, hideously expensive to sort (a new engine, basically). Porsche has long since stopped paying out for these.
Sadly, the only safe choice is an old aircooled one (993 or earlier, and therefore megabucks), or an relatively new second-gen 997.2 (increasingly very expensive, a 6 year old GTS sells for almost as much as it cost brand new FFS, and the prices are only going one way, still, because electric steering and turbo engines BS = shit to drive)

For my money, a second gen Mark 1 (987.2) Cayman S or Boxster S is the way forward. But even a good one of these is now £30k minimum.

People get ever so sniffy about it (why FFS?), but I love 924s, 944s and especially 968s (and the Clubsport 968 is awesome, my bruv had one for years and it was filth)

But man, not in yellow.

I think I'll stick to my pretend one. Only cost me £9

928 or go home, IMO.

Not my bag TBH. A bit of a big, old, rather fugly '70s relic for me. But, I can see why some people like 'em, it's an interesting, marmite sort of car.

I posted an article many pages back about the 996, apparently they're not quite as awful in the self-destruction stakes as they're sometimes painted, and later revisions fixed the issues. Also there are (relatively-ish) inexpensive preventative measures you can take to stop them going pop too.

IIRC it was the early 3.4s that were really bad, the later 3.4s were better, and the final 3.6 iteration was fine.

In fact here it is - viewtopic.php?p=898384#p898384

"It's only the minority that have had problems"

Yeah, right. If only that were true.

Hearthly, not being funny and all that, but I am a Porsche guy; I mix with people who run these things on a weekly basis. Trust me - without wishing to get into a google link joust with you, the problem is, unfortunately, rather more deep seated than you appear to be suggesting. Stick to errant reversing sensors and haunted MP3 players old bean.

(I am, of course, excluding any GT3, GT2 (or GT1!) because these all have the Mezger engine as previously mentioned)

Well that's me told then.

Look, us sad old gits discuss little else - because the early Cayman (which is much less unreliable than the 996) makes for a great track car except for this very issue.
Quite a few of 'em have been bitten with this.

It's a bit like someone telling you that you could win on the fruities by letting the reels just spin if, after a losing nudge with two symbols on the winline, you get a hold. Don't believe everything you read on the web.