Be Excellent To Each Other

Please tell me you'll take me out in it.

Reverse grooming.

Took the scenic route home from work and drove in a 'relaxed' fashion - managed just over 40mpg, which I think is quite good for an automatic three litre turbo diesel car weighing two tonnes.

This result would have been better but I happened across some farmers moving sheep from one field to another across a country road so I was stationary for a few minutes. It was quite good to watch though as the sheepdog was seriously kick-ass when it came to keeping the sheep in order. The sheepdog was like I AM THE LAW MOTHERFUCKERS and the sheep were just like, 'Baaaa' and were clearly totally outclassed and did exactly what they were told, but even then the sheepdog was giving a little nip to their heels once in a while just to make sure there was no shenanigans.

Unfortunately however it did cost me some mpg.

The Merc ran fine all the way home, no recurrence of limp mode. I'm not really too bothered about it, if there's something wrong with it I'll find out what it is with my snazzy diagnostic kit, and the dealer will have to fix it under warranty, nothing to get stressed about. My opinion on this may change if stuff starts going wrong in six months time, of course.

Heh. My Chevvy failed its MOT, so the company fixed it for free and did the retest. No advisories. Moral: sort out that windscreen wiper before going to the garage.

Please say this is your car.

OK, but it'll have to be strangulation or asphyxiation, as I don't want to make a mess on the upholstery.

Is that 28K miles on the clock, or a trip meter?

28K miles in 10 years? That's probably barely run in - which if anything would worry me!

It's 28K total, it was a 'holiday car' and has spent a lot of the last ten years sat in a garage. I swear it genuinely looked like a new showroom car inside and out when I first looked at it (apart from having obviously 'last-gen' Merc styling you could have passed it off as a new car).

That said, I am not oblivious to the (many) problems such low usage can lead to, at a guess I'd say it's had many periods of time, lasting many months, where the engine hasn't even been turned over - and that's not great.

If it weren't for the six month warranty I wouldn't have even considered it, but with my usage and mileage (basically 6-7 days a week and getting on for 1K per month) I'm thinking six months is long enough to shake out any problems and get them sorted under warranty. (I've put 366 miles on it already. And it's already gone into limp mode once. Lol.)

Once I get my diagnostic gizmo I'm going to do a full sweep on every system in the car, and I'll have no problem with going back to the dealer with as long a list as it comes up with. I've watched a few videos now of the i980 in action and it seems to be very good indeed, and will interrogate every system in the car, and come back with the proper Merc error/warning codes, part numbers, descriptions of what the issue is, and so on - he can't deny x/y/z are a problem if the car itself is reporting these things as being wrong.

We also have a very good and well regarded independent Merc specialist on the island so I'll be availing myself of his company.

If you look on AutoTrader these cars are routinely doing 150K+ and still being advertised for sale as in perfect working order with no ongoing issues, and many reports in the user community of them reaching 250K and more with ease.

I'll play it by ear, if at the end of the six month warranty I'm getting a bad vibe, or I've had a series of ongoing niggles to put right and I'm not confident they're all sorted, I can always just trade-in and get something else, but on the other hand if this limp-mode thing is a one-off and I can get a decent error code out of the car for it (it could be as simple as a dodgy sensor or something), I'll keep the car for longer.

It is a supremely wonderful car to drive (as you'd expect of something that had a retail price of nearly fifty grand), and perfect for family duties, so on balance I'd like to get to the end of the six months being happy with it, and continue with my ownership.

It could be something totally lame like a spark plug. Limp mode just indicates there's something up with the engine and so it limits performance to limit damage to the engine.

Our mini has done about the same mileage as your Merc Hearth but I won't lie and say it's not needed work. It's had all of the rear bushes done, brake pads, two engine sensors, steering lock (grumble moan swear) and four new tyres. Now bearing in mind Mrs JC drives the car once a week (and does about 12 miles). I do agree with the "leaving a car sitting" thing though. My Tiburon had been left in a garage for over two years before I got it and it needed four new tyres, all new brake pads and the seal on the bottom of the automatic trans was leaking. Whilst I was there I fitted a new trans filter but I also had to do a full oil change, new spark plugs etc. Leaving a car sitting is worse than thrashing it around IMO. It just does so much damage.

Edit. Fuck me, then there was the mold. The entire interior had green and blue mushrooms growing on it. The summers are uber hot and humid, seems it turned into a greenhouse.

You haven't had a new car have you Hearthly? You've barely mentioned it.

40mpg over 30 miles, when crawling along at an average speed of a snails pace 30mph isn't that amazing, Choppers, especially for a sedate diesel. Check this out, the Cayman S gets 40mpg over the same distance - but when barrelling along at SIXTY miles an hour, with a much bigger (petrol) engine that wasn't exactly optimised for economy, and with no turbo harnessing waste exhaust gas energy either.

60 is going to give more mpg than 30 usually anyway isn't it? Also I assume it's somewhat lighter. I don't think you could really expect more from a big car like that which is ten years old.

I'd imagine science steps in and it's all about the RPM the engine is at and the weight being pulled.

I'd hardly call 60mph 'barrelling along', at 70mph the Merc is around 1800rpm in 7th gear, but I don't have any stretch of road here even remotely long enough to get any sort of figure for what its MPG is at that speed. (Anecdotally owners report around 45mpg for 'mostly legal' motorway driving.)

Anyway I didn't even claim 40mpg was 'amazing', my exact words were that I think it's 'quite good for an automatic three litre turbo diesel car weighing two tonnes.' (And I could have added on ten years old too, so much older tech than the Porsche.)

That 40mpg was achieved at a low average speed along a variety of roads and elevations (most of which you wouldn't classify as much more than a 'B' or 'C' road in the UK), including a stop for a load of sheep to get hustled along by JUDGE DREDD SHEEPDOG. (Hot damn that dog was badass.)

The only point I was trying to make is that it's perhaps more economical than you might expect for a car of its size and weight, and considering the turn of speed it's capable of when prodded, and as such isn't into nightmare territory on fuel consumption like Gaz was saying his M5 was.

Got my Bluetooth odb2 dongle. Finally I have a rev counter!

Hey fair dos. The point I was making about the speed was this was a much faster average, incorporating a 90mph A road blast but also sub B roads and back lanes, which I would've thought more likely to burn much more fuel than gently and carefully doing 30mph. I wasn't suggesting 60mph average was fast per se

I guess I was vaguely thinking of stuff like my bro's 330d which gets high 40s as an average and much more when taking it easy but as you say this is old tech and a lot of weight, so in that context 40mpg is pretty decent.

How many revs have you got?

4!

I'll like to get a recount using a Windows 10 calculator.

At an average of 66 mph over 6 hours, the Subarararau did 26mpg. Therefore, for the good of the environment/money a Cayman is a better choice.

40 MPG in a car that size is quite incredible. Could you have imagined that back in the 70s or 80s when we were burning through fuel like a squirrel goes through nuts?

I would happily take 40 MPG in a car that size.

I started drinking black coffee thanks to Chinny, god bless his vacant account.

He called me a pussy for drinking white coffee

Edit. WTF did I do there?!?!? multi tasking JC FTL.

That torque app really drains the battery, don't it?

I only really had a quick look when I got the OBD dongle thing and it didn't tell me anything useful at all. However the car was in the garage today so I've been anxiously waiting to see what the damage is. I was fearing it might end up costing £500 or something daft like that. In the end it was only £138 to realign the rear wheel sensors and also for the brake fluid service. So man-maths means I've now got £362 to spend on more stupid RC toys.

Fantastc result.

Had a quick go of the A3 TDI last night; a bit gutless if I'm honest and the steering is classic Audi (i.e. as lifeless as a wet lettuce), but other than that it handles really well, has a nice interior and a lovely gearbox, which was a surprise. Really snickety, positive action.

In other news, my bro has just bought a newer, faster (GTS) Cayman, so has a newer, faster car than me, sibling rivalry fail. Bummer!

You'll have to treat yourself to a 911R

I don't think he can handle a 911R. I mean, his brother liked it and said "Hmm. 911R. Bit much. Best get the Cayman GTS". And if he's saying it's too much, then Cavey? Nah

I'd love one but it's the usual Porsche bullshit, they'll make about 500 of them in total, for the entire world, and mere plebs like me who've only bought 3 Porsches won't even get a look in, they'll be sold out 100 times over.

Mind you, it's probably the eco-brigade to blame; this has the hallowed naturally aspirated engine and the nut-eaters don't like it. FFS, they're selling Caymans and Boxsters with 2-litre turbo fours now, who is going to spend £65k on a car with a hot hatch engine?

I honestly think this is my last Porsche (or last new one at any rate). I have no interest in small four cylinder turbo engines and don't care how good the motoring press tell me they are. I reckon it's a V8 Mustang next, with lots of money spent making it more trick.

Mrs C wants a RR Sport...

Yes, how dare we attempt to preserve the planet for future generations to enjoy! It's just awful.

Meh. You honestly reckon this is doing fuck all though? The number of Porsche 911s, Boxsters and Caymans (i.e. their sports cars) are a tiny, tiny drop in the ocean compared to all other cars. No-one is going to tell me that leaving these as (still relatively fuel efficient, as my earlier post proved) naturally aspirated ~3 litre engines - with HYDRAULIC STEERING thanks very much - was going to melt the fucking ice caps. Especially when, in any REAL WORLD situation, the smaller turbo engines produce almost as much, if not just as much CO2 anyway, even assuming this proportion of total cars was significant, which it isn't.

It's the hypocrisy, bad engineering, bad science, bullshit and paying of lip service I cannot stand, and above all, the destruction of the sports car (unless you're minted enough to pay for a Ferrari or Lambo, then it's fine apparently, 6 litre V10 NA engines all round chaps). Anyone who thinks wrecking the steering in a few Porsche Caymans = "preserving the planet for future generations" *really* needs a long, quiet chat with themselves. But hey, you knew that, right?

Sorry, CBA with this again btw, it's bullshit and you know it is. This is the car thread so if people don't like it, go take it back to the yoghurt weaving eco-BS thread where this shit belongs, yeah?

Correct. So let's talk about Formula E for a bit! Or the new Rimac. Hello? HELLO?

Technically it's the gas-guzzling money pits thread, so none of your electromancy.

I'm going to start a hardcore car thread. Only serious discussion of electric cars allowed.

Isn't there some statistic out there somewhere (the truthfulness of which I can't be sure of) that all of the CO2 and other shit puked out into the atmosphere by all of the cars on the planet, pales into insignificance when compared to just two of the largest container ships on the seas?

Cows.

No, there's something about container ships, too. Those fuckers use immense amounts of fuel.

Yeah, I heard that.

Whether it's true or not, no idea.

Quora has an opinion: https://www.quora.com/Is-it-true-that-t ... l-the-cars

Make a ship thread.

I think we should merge Cavey's politics thread with this car thread, and then post to it about nothing other than ecologically aware feminist videogames with a clear leftwing agenda, preferably with links to Guardian comments.

I don't think it would float very well.

Let's play GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS!

Oh yes, Merc went into limp mode again today. Read on!

GOOD NEWS - My i980 diagnostic tool arrived earlier this week and it works splendidly. I got it hooked up and went through all the error codes, of which they were many. I'd read up in advance that the best thing to do is take a look down the codes, but then clear them all, as you could be looking at years and years of accumulated codes that were transient/repaired/whatever. So you clear them all, run the car for a few days, and then see what comes back.

BAD NEWS - So cleared all the codes on Tuesday, ran the diagnostics again today and it came back with five codes.

One is trivial but definitely correct, DCM – FL – Door Control Module Front Left 9205 – M21/1r1 Mirror heater shorted to ground, I'd already noticed that the passenger side heated wing mirror wasn't actually heating when we had a heavy frost earlier in the week, but nice to see it identified so specifically.

One is a bit vague, ESP 6210 ABS System Control, I need to do a bit more research into this one but I'm not overly concerned at the moment.

Two definitely need addressing and have proper DTCs for them -

P0130 – 02 Sensor Circuit Bank 1 Sensor 1
P0135 – 02 Sensor Heater Circuit Bank 1 Sensor 1

These are failed/malfunctioning oxygen sensors and will need sorting, quite expensive little gizmos apparently, help with keeping the car burning fuel efficiently and stuff.

But here's the real humdinger:

P0717 – Signal from Y3/8n1 Turbine Speed Sensor (VGS) not available

Doesn't sound too bad right? And then you start Googling around and realise that not only is this the cause of limp mode, but it's also a fucking expensive fix, you can only get the part through Mercedes (it's an entire new control unit as the sensors are integrated into the unit), and there are even allegations of a cover-up to the extent that it deliberately doesn't chuck a warning light on the dash but 'fixes itself' when you turn the car off and on again.

I've read far more Mercedes-Benz owner forums today than I anticipated being the case within three weeks of buying the car.....

http://www.thetruthaboutmercedes.com/tr ... ilure.html << A bit histrionic, but the behaviour described here is exactly what my car does



Needless to say I'll be onto the dealer first thing Monday morning, at least I have the proper error codes to give to him, but by all accounts it's nothing he'll be able to sort, the car needs to go to a proper MB dealer as only they can order this control unit thing, and MB only release them to dealers when the correct code is produced from the car. (Which you do need proper MB diagnostics for.)

There's a decent video here of a Merc up on the ramp, this has the same 7G '722.9' transmission as mine, you can see the (VERY EXPENSIVE LOOKING) box of tricks that needs replacing at 1m35s.

STUPID MERCEDES.

It's even made it to Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes- ... ansmission

Wow, that's beat. I thought our Mini was bad (two sensors @ £300 not fitted thx m8 gr8) but that's gone to another level. Definitely a case of 8 out of 8 m8 I r8 bad.

Hopefully it'll all be sorted.

Can I get a TL:DR?

Ten year old Merc has problems.

The thread title.

The annoying thing is that before I took the plunge I did a lot of reading around on the CLS (and by extension the E class it's based on), and they're both well regarded cars. (Well, the E class is well regarded post-facelift, and the CLS is based on the post-facelift E class.)

What I didn't think to do was get into the specifics of the transmission, which is a Mercedes-wide problem with the 7G-Tronic.

There's a huge amount of material out there, they go wrong all the fucking time.

This could be a repair in the region of £2000-£2500 once labour is factored in, there's no way I'm getting stung for that.

The 'good news', if you can call it that, is that once the unit is replaced they don't seem to go wrong again - so they must have changed something about the design of them.

Can I get a TL:DR?

And here's me posting about a gas guzzling money pit in a thread called..... Oh, hang on.