Be Excellent To Each Other

Evans Halshaw, Meaty?

And it's Middlesbrough, no extra 'o'. The locals get upset if you spell it wrong

VW gave me a laughable price on my old Golf. But I went to an independent dealer not an hour before was was able to get them to match it after much timewasting from them.

The cunts left a message on my answerphone about a cambelt change yesterday. They can GTFF. I'll be taking it to another dealer (has to be a dealer as well due to the warranty conditions).

Yeah, you were right, cunts. I'm sure if I ever meet your father-in-law we can share a story about wanting to fucking lamp their staff. "Oh crumbs, this chap isn't going to accept our massive ripoffs, let's be rude so he makes room for some suckers."

My spell checker objected to the no 'o' spelling when I typed it properly so I assumed I was wrong. I suppose in a car thread it should be 'M'boro'.

I don't fucking believe it. The twat that's fucked my gauge installation up and given me a serious oil leak has quite clearly fucked something else, as my accelerator pedal now doesn't work. It's like the pedal isn't even there, there's hardly any travel on it or resistance and the revs don't climb at all.

//edit: He's not fucking tightened the fucking throttle cable up against the chargecooler, so it's just free to flail wildly around under the engine bay. Frankly I'm amazed it didn't pop out of position when I came back from Wolverhampton, or when I went out last night.

Remarkable similarity to the story on that link I posted, metal A. I was just taking the piss too, so sorry it turned out like that..

Hey, don't worry about it, I'm just sad that a nice car is in the hands of those cunts and SOMEONE is going to be fucked over acquiring it.

I'm currently feeling a bit bad for the guy I saw yesterday - whether or not the car was sound or not, he is certainly sincere and emailed me twice today asking whether I was happy to go ahead with the deal (£60 MOT, etc etc) or not, so I've finally told him not to hold it for me as I'm not in a position to go ahead at this time... I know I shouldn't but he seemed a decent chap selling what could well be a decent car and I've got his hopes up a bit. I know it's wrong to dwell on it but I'm that sort of person, which is both my crime and my punishment.

I'd be the same. But to be honest he shouldn't be offering the car for sale without an MOT and then making the potential purchaser pay for it on top of the asking price. That's just daft.

If it was me and I was serious about buying it I'd tell him to MOT it and get back to me.

1451kg according to other sources. The manual actually says the gross weight is 1960kg! I assume that must be fully laden?

Aye - it went pretty much unmentioned but it's the fastest Mondeo Ford have ever made - it buries the ST220, especially when you get above 100mph.


1960kg? That's got to be wrong, surely? My Mundano is 1578kg, and that's a whole world more car than any Golf. A Range Rover is less than 40kg more than that!

Correct. Those are almost identical kerb and gross weights to my van, which has a 1/3rd of a ton of batteries in it. What's VW's excuse!?

For comparison, the diesel fiesta is 1555 gross weight

1115kg says Parkers for my 306.

My car is 0kg, for reference.

How much does your bike weigh?

1065 Kg.

I'm sure I've asked this before, but I'm not typing in a search box, have you had the car chipped/remapped/handset modded (or whatever the kids call it these days)?

I've been tempted before, but car forums tend to exaggerate a bit when talking about 'power gains' and stuff.

And without the rider?

LOL.

Yup, I got it soft modded (which means you keep the same chip (or chip set, to be accurate) but put different software on it). It got a little quicker, and the fuel consumption went down a bit.

Here is where I talked about it: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1635&p=342472#p342472

Hmmm, how much was it? And do you think it was really worth it? I've seen talk of the handsets that plug into a socket in the dash and back up the ford software and put some modded one on there instead (they were called things like Bluefin, Code Red and something or other). Which one did you get?

It was free, and I don't know. So yes, it was worth it
The nice chap who did it has the original firmware ready to go back onto the car for when it needs an MOT.

Build quality and not having a load of batteries,

What the fuck do they do? Fill the doors with concrete?

Did Chinny buy a Bentley by mistake?

It's bulletproof. And has special glue-proof locks.

The fact it's a 2 litre diesel probably doesn't help. The engine will probably weigh nearly twice the equivalent petrol model.

You and me are going to be having words.

"slow down you fake scotch bastard"

"you'll never catch me, chubby! Tha noo!"

Went and saw this today. On the one hand it's very desirable - one of the last made, limited edition, gorgeous car. On the other, several bad (down to the metal) stone chips on the front, all the wheels had curbing damage, rear fogs didn't work, and 77k on a late 2005 car is excessive. Guy took this on board and offered me £2500 for the Skoda, leaving me £5,500 to pay. I politely declined, saying the mileage and knackered wheels mean it's not worth nearly that much.

Will be going to see this and this on Saturday (in that order, first is more desirable).

Poor guy with the £60 MOT has responded to my withdrawal of interest by saying he doesn't want to lose the sale if it's just that which is stopping me going ahead. If he's not a genuine seller he's doing an incredible impression of one. (cynical voice says 'trying to guilt me into it by appearing so nice')

Don't buy a red car.

Neither of them are (the 'red' refers to the interior). Mrs Metal's sister had a nice little MX-3 that was sadly spoiled by the face the hood had gone pink while the rest was still nice candy red.

Salesman in Cuntans Cuntshaw said red was bad because 'during the day your brake lights blend in with the redness of the car', which makes about as much sense as my other saying silver was bad because 'you blend in with the concrete surroundings in the city'. She had better buy a bright orange car with a pulsating glow that goes 'oooooohmmmmOoooooOOOOHMMMoooohmmm' like a fake UFO in Scooby Doo.

All of those have really high mileage, I'm surprised.

I know! So it seems I can spend £7000 on a five year old car with 80,000 miles, or £4,000 on an eight year old car with, er, 80,000 miles. The few low mileage ones I've seen have all either been in Kyle of Lochalsh (only a slight exaggeration) or have been poverty spec with the crappy rot-prone wheels.

France, 1996, Peugeot design headquarters:

Designer Phillipe Lequonte: Eh, Henry, you knoo wot will make les rosbifs seet en showt wiv ze anger, non? let uz poot zees bolt, ze one zat old le bateery een place een a space zat is tres petit en lets ze water mek eet all rustee.

Designer Henry: oui, oui, zen zat weel be tres amusent eef MaliA weeshes to removes it in ze dark, and ee cannot! Tres amusant

Designer Phillipe Lequnte: hi hi h i.

Cunts, the lot of them.

classic

What you need for that job is an extension and a 10mm socket. Like it says a few pages back.

Couldn't find it before, for above reasons.

Things rounded off like a fucker, took me ages to find it, as it's all so corroded.

Mrs Chinny has a 206. There is a lip under the front of the bonnet and the cheapskating frogs didn't galvonise it. So in the best tradition of French cars that entire piece of metal is rusting to bits because water can sit between the untreated metal and the bonnet proper.

Sanded it down and treated the worst of it at the weekend. The rest of the bonnet is fine, just this one piece of metal that runs right under the front that obviously hasn't been treated at all.

Auhehaheha! Zat vill teach you filthy food boileurs wiz your silly 'ighway Kurd driveeng on ze wrong side be'avyurr. We not even feet ze right 'and drive vipers to your deux oh seex. Ze tall driveur will 'ave a 'uge croissant of filth in ze corner of zeir veeshon zat ze vipers can n'est pas reach! And zat is before I am menshaun ze tiny pedals trois millimetres apaert!

*pop pop*

Oh, the pedals! My mate has taken the tread part of his accelerator pedal off to give him more room.

The big problem for me was the 'foot rest' which made it nearly impossible to depress the clutch.

Oh, yeah, when you have your foot on the accelerator pedal on a 106, it's actually underneath the brake pedal.

I feel like that with the 360 wheel, and that's bad enough; I get awful leg pain eventually, and so, I have no urge to drive French cars.

I would never get a Peugeot again. Awful cars for reasons mentioned above.

Taking my Yaris back to the garage today if they make me a good enough offer. If not then I really will have to go to webuyanycar.com

My Peugeot was brill. It also taught me the importance of replacing timing belts in a timely fashion.

Yeah but look at your feet!

Lovely Celica (blue one) just been sold says dealer, who kindly phoned back to advise me.

FUCK.

My Clio was fantastic. Worst decision I ever made getting rid of that.

Dilemma!

Car A is 47,000 miles and £7000, but low spec with base level wheels, no sunroof, cloth interior, etc.

Car B is 80,000 miles and £6000, but limited edition with posh wheels, sunroof, leather, etc.

Expensive but poverty spec? High mileage and cheaper but all the trimmings? I almost hope that when I stop on the way tomorrow and phone to ensure both are still available, one isn't.