1 Packs of treacle cured streaky bacon

OH MY

Does she have an online shop?

Worst case scenario, i'll bring a freezer box full of random meat to the next cottage, if I remember.

That's not a worst case scenario, by any means.

Best case scenario is you bring three pigs to next year's cottage.

Evora is likely to be long gone by then, i'll probably be in an ebay sourced diesel Volvo or something...

For the cake

250 ml Guinness
250 gram(s) unsalted butter
75 gram(s) cocoa powder
400 gram(s) caster sugar
142 ml sour cream
2 medium egg(s)
1 tablespoon(s) vanilla extract
275 gram(s) Plain flour
2.5 teaspoon(s) bicarbonate of soda

For the topping

300 gram(s) cream cheese
150 gram(s) Icing sugar
125 ml double cream (or whipping cream)

Method

1. Preheat the oven to gas mark 4/180°C, and butter and line a 23cm springform tin.
2. Pour the Guinness into a large wide saucepan, add the butter - in spoons or slices - and heat until the butter's melted, at which time you should whisk in the cocoa and sugar. Beat the sour cream with the eggs and vanilla and then pour into the brown, buttery, beery pan and finally whisk in the flour and bicarb.
3. Pour the cake batter into the greased and lined tin and bake for 45 minutes to an hour. Leave to cool completely in the tin on a cooling rack, as it is quite a damp cake.
4. When the cake's cold, sit it on a flat platter or cake stand and get on with the icing. Lightly whip the cream cheese until smooth, sieve over the icing sugar and then beat them both together. Or do this in a processor, putting the unsieved icing sugar in first and blitz to remove lumps before adding the cheese.
5. Add the cream and beat again until it makes a spreadable consistency. Ice the top of the black cake so that it resembles the frothy top of the famous pint.

Eggs Benedict.

It's basically poached eggs, on ham/bacon, on an english muffin, with hollandaise sauce on top. The only bit that needs work is the hollandaise, which is effectively egg yolks emulsified with melted butter and a little lemon juice or vinegar.

Christmas food! I made myself feel pretty sick the other day after spending a fortune on cheese and sitting eating it 'til I couldn't move.

What does everybody have for breakfast on Christmas morning? Give me ideas please

What does everybody have for breakfast on Christmas morning? Give me ideas please

What about Christmas starters? I think I'm going to make smoked salmon and prawns, but I might have a bash at a terrine or pate as well.

It was bloody lovely though.

Mostly down to my work on the apples and spices, I think

Good smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toasted buttered bagels (real Welsh butter)

The "sloppy vs firm" debate on scrambled egg is a perennial one, but one in which I'm on the right side.

Watching you and Danielle cook together is a rare treat, and it should stay rare for the sake of my blood pressure.

Good smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toasted buttered bagels (real Welsh butter), Bucks Fizz and copious fresh ground coffee.