Be Excellent To Each Other

Yesterday I had a pizza for tea, and got myself a drink at the same time. I like tomato sauce with my pizza, so I get it out of the cupboard, but have to stop myself because I almost put the sauce in to my drink instead. Clearly, my brain malfunctioned.

This has happened in the past, where I have done things like nearly putting the kettle back in the fridge instead of the milk, or throwing a plate into the bin instead of the dishwasher. buuuuugh.

Please share your braindead experiences so I know I'm not the only one.

Ange once put a really important letter I needed posting into the bin next to the postbox.

A £2.67 pizza, I trust?

It cost £1.64, and I only ate half of it. 82p for the meal!

I once spent several hours looking for the TV remote only to find it in the fridge - I'd put it there. I suspect it went something like this - /walks into kitchen with remote in hand to make a cuppa, opens fridge to get milk, has remote so puts remote on shelf in fridge, picks up milk, makes teas, puts milk away, absent mindedly wanders off back to sitting room.

I regularly walk upstairs to get something and forget what it is halfway up the stairs. I think there's something about the mechanics of walking up stairs that clears your short-term cache.

Every time I'm sat at my easel I have to stop myself putting my brush in my tea/beer/water.

Every time I listen to the Gaywood and his games' recommendations

My favourite recent one is when I was making some toast. After buttering, I went to fling the knife into the washing up bowl, had a brain malfunction and threw the butter in there instead.
Unfortunately I didn't stop myself, so I guess that's it for me, senility here I come.

So everytime you hear "Gaywood" you want to stick your wood in something brown....

Interesting.

These are known as 'bungled actions' and are common to everybody. Don't worry about it.

I defy anyone to top these two for absent mindedness though.

Many many moons ago when I was still in school, a friend had been moronically painting his bedroom black over a weekend, using everything from humbrol to tins of car spray. Monday morning he used black car spray paint as underarm deodorant. On both pits before he realised!

And the other one was my mother picking up a tin of Pledge to get some lasting hold on her hair

Doh. Interesting extrapolation there. Any therapist worth their sodium would call that Freudian projection.

Once put my car keys down in the boot while I took some boxes out, then shut the boot. No, the doors were not unlocked.

Ooh! I can top that one. Dropping stuff off at the local tip, I put the keys on a handy little recess above the rear lights (1990's Escort) and closed the boot.

The car doors were open, yet it was the one place that the keys were inaccessible from inside, and I had no way of opening the boot up again. And I'd left my mobile at home so had to borrow someone elses to make a phone call to bring the spare key.

After eating in a food court, I duly took my tray to the bin, and threw it in along with the rubbish on top of it.

I'm sure that I've dumped entire cups of fresh tea down the sink as well, thinking I needed to rinse out the glass.

No doubt it was on the same occasion that I put the box of tea bags into the fridge and put the milk into the cupboard (and then spent 20 minutes wondering where the fuck it had gone)

I once bought a ticket at a pay and display machine and then tore it to shreds on the way back to the car.

You also smashed your car driving into your usual space at work, which was occupied.

I did.

And you forgot to press the brakes when the car in front did.

haha. Fight!

I spent a good 40 minutes getting frustrated when I couldn't find a socket wrench thingy I'd been using a few minutes earlier. I almost tore the place apart, only to realise it was still hanging off a bolt on the bike.

I once cooked a meal, put it on a plate, then immediately scraped it into the bin

I can beat you all. Back before I had my laser eye surgery I spent ages (perhaps upwards of 10 minutes) looking for a pair of glasses, only to realise that they were on my head.

I wish I could say I was drunk, but I wasn't. After that day, my head was the first place I checked in any spectacle-loss situations.

Man you all suck way more than I do. I feel positively clever in my retardation.

I've certainly spent several minutes looking for an item which I was holding in my hand at the time before.

I spend about half my time at work standing around with a vacant expression on my face, either trying to remember exactly why I'm in a particular place or trying to figure out exactly where, in the 34000 square feet store, I left that important piece of paper my boss told me to not to lose.

A coworker disappeared for over an hour today to go and look for her lost purse.

Which she'd left somewhere really obvious and in plain sight (I can't remember where, sorry, which kind of ruins the story) but that didn't stop her panicking.

Ha. I've bought a ticket before now and put it in the dash upside down so no-one could read it. That one cost me £50

My favourite one is from years ago when I went to the gym for a couple of hours. On my way back to the car, I was rummaging through my pockets trying to find my phone only to find it on top of the pay and display machine next to my car.

I've driven off with the very same phone on the roof of the car for it to come flying off and smash to bits on the road going around a roundabout, followed by traffic jams and frantic scrabbling to reassemble it.

I've lost count of the number of exposures I've shot on my Leica M3 rangefinder with the lens cap on. I now don't have a lens cap for it and just have a cheap skylight filter on it to protect the lens.

I will complete the story for myself by deciding that she actually had it in her mouth, which makes it a hilarious story.

I spent about 4 hours taking pictures of 4x4 cars with my Digicam - I must have taken about 300 shots, some good ones too.
After every photo, my camera displayed 'NO CF CARD' on the screen, rather than the photo I took.
I didn't notice until I got home and went to take the card out.

Jeez, that's cretinous design on that there camera.

Heh. I'm always amazed how things don't get stolen.

I went down to Birmingham last year to the bike show, and managed to leave my keys in my bike's ignition over night. My heart skipped a beat when I saw them in the morning, sitting there happily, with my bike still parked where I'd left it.

I've left them in the ignition at home over an entire weekend, too. Oops.

Well, that's how it's meant to work, in case you had it hooked straight into a PC (which you can do for studio work).
I don't know how much more it could have done, really.

On pressing the "take a picture button" without a memory card and without a live hookup to a PC, it should scream "YOU'VE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, YOU PLUM".

Possibly opening a small trapdoor in the body of the camera, out of which comes a boxing glove on a spring to bop you on the nose so you definitely don't miss it. Maybe giving you an electric shock at the same time.

I spent three hours (whilst also watching the tennis and not worrying too much, but still) looking for my car key at my parents' last night. I'd only really sat on the sofa, so was pretty sure it had to be there but still, checked the sofa, looked upstairs, checked under the car, wondered if it might be in the boot, pondered my plan to get to work on the train the next day, pick up the spare from home, return and so on.

When the tennis finished I moved the sofa and there it was. ***t