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The Late Show
https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1152
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Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:45 ]
Post subject:  The Late Show

<sultry voice>
It's that time of night when the world is at it's stillest and the air hangs like a curtain outside your window.

Mimi is awake. Still awake. At midnight Mimi went to bed, exhausted, but she has INSoMNIA.

It's the kind of insomnia that comes about when your mind won't rest. Pondering things over and over in your mind. but hpw do you shut off your thoughts. How do you say 'go away imagination! I don't want to wake up with wrinkles!'?

Three hours of variously trying to blank thoughts from my mind, or later trying to change the thoughts to something else by way of R. Dawkins low boring drawl on my iPod, telling me things I already know, I am still awake.

But I am so, so tired. My body wants to fall to slumber but my brain is ticking over the possibility of Jaffa Cakes as a staple food source, why wasps can always find that tiny chink in your window to get into your house but can't find the way out of a six foot high door when you open it wide for them, and whatever happened to Pop Tarts.

Oh, and now there's a spider on my pillow. Feck. :S

Great, now I will never sleep.

Author:  myp [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Hi!

Author:  Craig [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

I'm still awake. I'm trying to update my iPod. Only taking what seems like hours but probably isn't.

:munkeh:

:attitude:


Here that thing about Stuart getting called by somebody who left there mobile number by accident? Want to call them and leave a rendition of a popular ditty on their machine?

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Update:

It is now an ex spider.

I was very brave.

I know that everyone will say how great spiders are, but it was on my pillow, damnit, and it was huge. Also, it was on my pillow. My pillow! Where ten minutes earlier I had been desperately searching for sleep.

Spiders always know when I am in the shower. They wait out of sight all day, step in the shower, checking for eight legged beasties before you go in, and as soon as you have shampoo on your hair, they appear.

It was on my pillow.

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Hi other up late people, including other half *waves*.

I am going to resort to...

The Horlicks!

Author:  Cras [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Hmph. Now I want Jaffa Cakes and Pop Tarts. Hmph.

Author:  Craig [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

I fell asleep. I am awake again.

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

I never got to sleep until about 6:30 I reckon. Last time I looked at the clock it was 5:50. Hmph. I woke back up at a quarter to seven.

Author:  Malabelm [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Pop Tarts still exist! I had them recently, and they're oh-so lovely. Expensive, but lovely.

Author:  GazChap [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Mimi wrote:
I never got to sleep until about 6:30 I reckon. Last time I looked at the clock it was 5:50. Hmph. I woke back up at a quarter to seven.

Never ever look at the clock when you're unable to go to sleep, it just makes things worse as you think to yourself "Fucking hell, it's 6.30 and I've still not gotten to sleep!"

Also, that spider's corpse on your pillow sent out pheromones (of sorts) to the rest of his spider buddies currently in your house, so I wouldn't go to sleep tonight if I were you ;)

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

I didn't man to look at the clock, but I got up to have a drink and the clock is tere as you walk in. I don't have a lock in my bedroom for precisely the reason you say.

I didn't squish the spider on my pillow (ew) I hit it with a book on the wall, then I put some Dettol on the wall to clean it, so I should be OK, I hope.

Author:  Dudley [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

nynfortoo wrote:
Pop Tarts still exist! I had them recently, and they're oh-so lovely. Expensive, but lovely.


Although the UK only gets shitty, shitty flavours of them.

Abroad you can still get the gorgeous unfrosted apple we had for about 2 seconds and the impossibly gorgeous brown sugar cinnamon.

Author:  kalmar [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:18 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Mimi wrote:
I don't have a lock in my bedroom for precisely the reason you say.


Spiders might attack?

Dudley: they had to bribe the food and drug administration a *lot* of money to get those flavours through. Banned under European law of course.

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

kalmar wrote:
Mimi wrote:
I don't have a lock in my bedroom for precisely the reason you say.


Spiders might attack?

:D


kalmar wrote:
Dudley: they had to bribe the food and drug administration a *lot* of money to get those flavours through. Banned under European law of course.





Really? On what grounds were they banned?

Author:  Malabelm [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Dudley wrote:
Although the UK only gets shitty, shitty flavours of them.

Abroad you can still get the gorgeous unfrosted apple we had for about 2 seconds and the impossibly gorgeous brown sugar cinnamon.


We always get the yucky end of the stick though, which is why I end up importing things and staying broke.

Author:  Dudley [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

kalmar wrote:
Mimi wrote:
I don't have a lock in my bedroom for precisely the reason you say.


Spiders might attack?

Dudley: they had to bribe the food and drug administration a *lot* of money to get those flavours through. Banned under European law of course.


They sold the Apple one here for years so that seems somewhat false.

Author:  devilman [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Craig wrote:
I fell asleep. I am awake again.


Me too! We should form a club.

Author:  Grim... [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Don't kill spiders!
It's no different to killing a dog :(

Author:  Craig [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

devilman wrote:
Craig wrote:
I fell asleep. I am awake again.


Me too! We should form a club.



The Wide Awake Club?

Author:  KevR [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Grim... wrote:
Don't kill spiders!
It's no different to killing a dog :(


Only if they feel pain.

Author:  Malabelm [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

If you kill dogs quickly enough, it's okay!

Author:  KevR [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

nynfortoo wrote:
If you kill dogs quickly enough, it's okay!


Ditto every other animal that's killed for our consumption.

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Grim... wrote:
Don't kill spiders!
It's no different to killing a dog :(


Why? To me it is a pest. They kill flies? Ok, then they should go outside as I have no flies in my house. Certainly there are no flies on my pillow. I have not killed the little guy in the bathroom, just one that wants to share my bed.

I do not agree that it is like killing a dog. I don't have a dog, but then random dogs do not find their way into my house and lay on my bed. I cannot see why it is like a dog, unless killing all animals is equally heinous, in which case, yes, but then people should feel thoroughly ashamed of their bacon butties (as an aside I just tried Quorn bacon. It's bacony). But at least you are killing pigs for a reason, for food? I killed the spider for a reason too - to keep it away from where I sleep.

Next time I will ask someone to put it in a jar for you Grim..., and you can give it a little home on your bed :D

I don't want creepy crawlies in my house, I have a strict four legs or less policy here.

I'd have put it in a jar with a piece if card if I could, but I am just too scared to do that. I know it is a silly irrational fear, but I just can't do it. I have tried so many times but I end up shaking, and crying once. You may think it stupid but I can't help it, they just make me feel terrified. For my own sake it is easier for me to just rid myself of them if I can chuck something at them, like a big old book.

Author:  MrD [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 14:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Quote:
How do you say 'go away imagination!'


Video games.

Author:  GazChap [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 15:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Mimi wrote:
They kill flies? Ok, then they should go outside as I have no flies in my house.

That'll be because there are spiders in your house killing and eating them all.

Author:  Malabelm [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 15:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Spiders don't eat flies. Old women do.

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 15:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

No, there just don't seem to be many flies around here. If one gets in I shoo him out the window quick enough. Flies I can deal with OK - I can just get a piece of paper and guide them along out the door. The same with wasps. Spiders just really freak me out though. I would like not to fear them, but no matter how rational I try to be as soon as they move I just freak out.

It's worse because they usually take you by surprise, which gets your adrenaline going anyway.

Author:  GazChap [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 15:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

nynfortoo wrote:
Spiders don't eat flies. Old women do.

Are you saying that Mimi is old? And lives in a shoe?

Author:  kalmar [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 15:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Little miss Mimi
Sat on a beanie
Eating her quorn all day
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And frightened poor Mimi away.

Image

Author:  Mimi [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 15:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

kalmar wrote:
Little miss Mimi
Sat on a beanie
Eating her quorn all day
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And frightened poor Mimi away.

Image


I love this :D

I'm going to write it on my blackboard :)

Author:  Cras [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 16:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

kalmar wrote:
Little miss Mimi
Sat on a beanie
Eating her quorn all day
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
It won't make that mistake again.


FTFY ;)

Author:  kalmar [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 16:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

This is more accurate: you win :)

Author:  Mr Russell [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 16:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Little Miss Spider
Sat on a pillow
Walking around for a look.
Along came a Mimi, who with a quick shimmy
Killed her stone dead with a book.

Author:  Mr Russell [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 16:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Mine is a less pleasant version admittedly.

Author:  MaliA [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 19:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

Mary had a little lamb,
The midwife was more than surprised.

Author:  Plissken [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 23:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Late Show

The mention of.. them.. has brought one out in my house. The little sod.

I'm like Meems, I'm not arachnophobic, but I am extremely uncomfortable around anything to do with them.

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