Be Excellent To Each Other

Cheers Pete, it was the least I could do after all this place has given me, especially as I'm not such a regular contributor. Like I've mentioned, nothing would make me happier than making even one person spot it before crossing that dreaded "decompensated" line. I'd never even heard the term before diagnosis and didn't feel in any way ill beforehand.

Thank you so much! I know we've already spoken (in the virtual world), but it means a lot to us, especially coming from you). Say hi to Joans as well.

Sounds interesting, and there's plenty of time for reading the way things are at the moment, so I for one will take a look.

This doesn't affect me personally, but for the smokers out there, I can recommend the book "C" by the late John Diamond. Warning - it's a tough read, to put it mildly, and utterly tragic, but his strength is inspiring.

Just thought I'd re-visit this thread in case there were any questions that might need answering. Turns out there weren't, which is probably good news. Offer still stands, goes without saying. I'm still realatively stable, btw, albeit stable with bad numbers.

I probably said this before, and even if so it's worth repeating anyway. I've never met any of you face to face, at most whatsapp or the like, but I was massively impressed with the lack of blame, not a single negative message, and for that I want to thank you all however things go. This is a good place, worth keeping going (if there's ever a fundraiser, I'm in).

One thing i wanted to say, if a bit morbid, is that when confronted with your own mortality, you think differently. In my case I want to squeeze out every bit of life with things I enjoy and people I love. I've learned that there is no point worrying about things you cannot influence, so focus on the things that you can. It's the bleeding obvious again, isn't it?

Another little thing - we're all used to complainng when things go wrong, which is fine, but when they go right / better than expected, a "thank you" is a must as far as I see it.

Any health scare puts your life(style) into sharp focus. I really hope you can turn this around mate, I’ve been very lucky to be able to do so... I still slip into bad habits but most of the time I treat my body far better than I used to.

And yeah, it’s alright here

Absolutely - too few people think about this!

Glad to read that you're stable, MrC. Keep on truckin'

That's pretty much how I see it, treat your body a bit better but don't break down in insane depression if you have an occasional burger or anything like that, as becoming a vegan / casting a suspicious eye overy every little thing you eat or do is (for me, at least) a fate worse than death. I can't turn it around as such, but I can put the brakes on, have done, so far so good. I did ask at the time, and I've already well beaten the life epectancy figures they gave me (they don't like to be too precise as, as my own GP - fantastic guy, btw, boy, did I get lucky there -said the disease has what the Germans call an "Eigenleben", a life of its own. Strangely, I quite like that. Here's a thing - in your twenties, for example, you feel immortal, getting older gives you a not entirely unpleasnt perspective about where things are going, which influences everything. I used to think I'd rather go quick (snap, heart attack etc), but slow is good - loads of opportunities to talk and forgive and tie up loose ends.

Zardoz, I'd love to hear your story, but this is just an internet forum and I haven't met you, so that's probably a no-go, but you know where I am if I'm wrong. And thanks again, btw.

Thanks for that GazChap, you'd be surprised how much messages like that mean in terms of a positive boost. Stable is good, it means you're slowing things down as much as you can. I want to live to see another World Cup, even if it has to be in winter in Qatar (mad, but still a World Cup). Oh, and I don't have a truck, so it would be "keep on Golfin'".

Sorry to bring this thread back to the top, but it's a subject that dominates everything, and it's all I can post about at the moment.

You've all been so good, and I can't even begin to explain how much that means (seems you can get a bit emotional in situations like these).

I may have said this before, but I used to think, when I was young and immortal, that I'd prefer to go quickly, but that aint the case. When it's slow and gradual there is so much you can do and say.

Apart from the bad shit, I've been so lucky in so many ways - apart from the most important (my wife), there are loads of little things that make a big difference. For example, I'm currently going through a course of dental treatment after decdes of firmly sticking my head in the sand. The lucky bit is that I have two women (dentist and assistant) who get it, the fear I mean. In some ways I'm happier now than I ever was, and despite a diagnosis of social anxiety, I'm doing stuff that would have scared the shit out of me just a year or so ago. It's all good.

However long I've got (and I've already beat the predictions, (although even the docs don't really know for sure), there are always positives. Most of you are younger than me, but my slightly obvious advice is do all those things you've thought about doing, but never get around to, if time and money make them possible, whatever age you are.

Love to you all, be safe x

Keep your head up, MrC. Xoxo

Thanks for talking about this. I've done my absolute best to ignore the thread because I'm almost certainly well along the same path but every time it bumps it shocks my own stereotypical "ignore it, it'll go away" feelings.

It doesn't help me that I display zero of the personally-identifiable symptoms and even blood tests say I'm fine, only scans showing issues - but even then, last time I was sent the operator seemed confused that I'd been sent along.

Rationally I know that's not permission to carry on, but I'm still struggling with what I'm alive for, so struggle to do anything constructive about any of it.

@Satsuma - thank you Mr Orange, it all counts

@BikNorton - I don't want to play the amateur therapist, but I think I know what you're feeling. As far as symptoms go, in my case the first thing I noticed was my legs ballooning (oedema), do you have that? Otherwise I felt fine. If not, you're probably on the right side of the decompensated line and still have time to stop it. I know the stick your head in the sand strategy, I was doing it for decades and at some point the invoice comes.

I totally get what you're saying about "permission to carry on", my choice of words would be more "getting away with it...so far". Reminds me of the old cliche of someone falling off a high building, passing the tenth floor, and thinking - so far, so good...

I think I was in a similar place to you (not identical, everyone has their own story). but, trust me, there is always something constructive, however small. Just think of this place as an example.

If you want to tell or ask anything, and I do mean anything, especially anything you don't want to post in public, you can PM me any time and I will reply.

I wish you all the best in your struggle, stay safe x

I am glad to see you are getting though this. Thank you for sharing.

I'm not quite sure how to word this but obviously, we're all concerned for you MrC and would like to hear about how you're getting on. Have you got anyone who could post on your behalf if things take a turn for the worst and you're not able to?

@KovacsC - no, it's you that has to be thanked - like I say, it all means something

@TheVision - boy, that was a daring and slightly morbid question! But don't worry, I'm not in any way offended, I know how you meant it, it's just reality. Although I don't have any plans to check out, it's beyond my control. Anyway, the answer is yes, I do. My wife has all my login details and I've already asked her to post on my behalf / answer any emails etc from people who don't know if/when things go tits up. Let's hope it's not this year, I'd quite like to see another World Cup and an end to this bloody virus. Mentally, I'm in a good place, physically, not so much, but I'm doing all I can. Thanks for the question and all the best to you and yours x

Thanks MrC and thanks for not taking offence. Of course, I didn't mean any. Take care!

Thanks, TheVision, much appreciated and, again, love to you and yours x

Question to all mods - is it possible to post an mp3 on here, and, if it is, how do I do it? (I'm a bit thick when it comes to PCs).

Grim.. and Craster mentioned this during the Battle of the Songs discussion

http://www.fullonrobotchubby.co.uk/playa2/

It's clunky but it works, it has some brief instructions on what to do and how to post the link too

Cheers, Malc, but it just tells me "I don't think that's an mp3", but it definitely is. What am I doing wrong?

Upload it to Youtube as unlisted (so no one can access it without the direct URL) and post that instead?

Thanks, Bamba, but still too technical for Mr Thicky here. But you did give me the idea of simply looking it up on youtube, and sure enough there it is.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ1wtftL3nA

It's a sad song and not everyone's cup of tea - I don't know the guy at all and maybe it's a bit James-Blunty, but it works for me. The great thing about a good sad song is it can make you teary and at the same time incredibly positive. Have a listen if you fancy.

@mrc nope, literally none of the outward symptoms. And no oesophageal varices either.

That sounds like good news to me (needless to say, I have the varices and they bleed).

If you kick the booze now, you should be OK. Easier said than done, I know, habit of a lifetime and all that. I'm afraid I can't recommend a method, as it's different for everyone. I wasn't into the 12-step bollocks or visiting a psychologist /psychiatrist. I'm not stupid and was fully aware of what I'd done (which actually was stupid), so I chose cold turkey. Only you can judge whether that will work for you, but I wish you all the best, whatever path you choose.

Sorry that you're going through this. The absurd thing is I watched my stepdad's alcohol-related descent - ending with his death last year and my mum's ongoing struggle to cope with life without him - and I'm still doing this.

Cold turkey is the only way for me as well - the only times quitting smoking stuck (something of an oxymoron I know, but this time I'm on 10years) is that way. No mental or chemical aids, just stop. Thankfully I'm no so much an addict as a creature of habit and in this case, self-medicating.

No need to be sorry, but thanks anyway. I've heard that it can be even more difficult with the fags, so you can be proud of 10 years without.

If you can do that, you can do it with the drink as well. You come across as an intelligent and rational guy, and even if we can all be stupid from time to time (I was no exception), I'm absolutely convinced you can do it. Good luck, mate.

Slight side bar but: after smoking a lot of fags for a long time, I eventually (and surprisingly easily) got off them using prescribed smoking cessation drugs. I thought I'd never manage it but the difference they made versus going cold turkey was genuinely incredible and I'm forever glad I tried it.

Not everyone's experience I realise, and not trying to derail from the booze discussion. Just wanted to make sure no one discounted the idea of assistance with any particular addiction issues because my experience was so incredibly positive.

What did you use, out of interest?

You're not derailing anything, it's all related. I'm delighted to hear you got off the fags with assistance, though. Like I said before, it's horses for courses, doesn't matter what works for you, as long as it works.

The doc that I saw the most during my time in hospital (lovely bloke don't get me wrong) actually suggested a pottery course. I had to tell him that almost nothing would be more certain to get me drinking again than that.

Oh, and on the subject of assistance with meds, in the hospital I was given a drug (can't remember the name, grey pills - just asked my wife, it was distraneurine or something like that) and what it did was just knock you out completely. I thought, well duh, of course you can't drink if you're unconscious, so that was part of my decision to go cold turkey. Doesn't mean it wouldn't work for others, though.

It was Champix, though I don't know what the generic name is.

Ah yes, I've heard of that. One day there'll be a day one.

Why not make that day today?

Because I fucking love smoking!

But in seriousness, myself and Mrs Fop have given ourselves till the end of summer. Suspect I may need something like champix as previous attempts at cold turkey have been fruitless.

When I stopped smoking cold turkey I found lollies a good distraction. When I found myself at traffic lights flicking the chuppachup out the window I realised how ingrained the old habit was D

Good luck folks, it’s hard beating these addictions but it’s doable.

Why not make that day today? [/quote]

Now there's some wisdom from Myp, dare I say it. Doesn't matter if it's today, tomorrow or on your birthday / next year / a date with your lucky number, it'll be just as hard or easy whenever you have a go at it. Good luck!

Findus, it's definitely doable - my cousin and her husband had been on 30 a day for decades and packed it in overnight. Both surprising and impressive.

I don't usually reply with lol, but lol.

Cold turkey didn't work for me at either, I just felt like I was losing my mind. The Champix though worked like a champ(-ix) and I seem to remember quite a few of my friends had success with it shortly after because they'd seen how it helped me.

I still absent mindedly roll up till receipts and put them in my mouth, it's been... 13 years?

At the risk of boring you all into an early grave, I can't say often enough how your comments have kept my spirits up - not what you'd expect from an internet forum, so many good people, thank you so much.

Had a couple of bad weeks, with all symptoms active. Scary stuff, but seem to be going into a better phase. I'm not scared of the concept of dying, just the process, but I don't plan to check out any earlier than absolutely necessary. My main motivation is to continue to be there for my amazing wife. That's not a boast, she really is amazing and, whatever happens, she is my hero Fingers firmly crossed.

I'm so glad that this is slow - I get the chance to show my gratitude. Again, thanks to all of you, repetitive, but true x.

It's not boring, and if it helps you (or helps anyone else) then it's a positive thing. Feel free to "bore us" all you like

There are a lot of dull posts on here but it doesn’t stop anyone else. Don’t worry about it.

All of the above. Stay strong MrC and keep sharing. It's given me some perspective.

I'm very glad you're feeling a bit better again - sending you lots of love xx

Keep talking, MrC, if it brings you comfort, or helps to share your journey. And you are not boring. X

Also, if you need a new vice, e's are good. But then you already knew that.

And now I realise how facetious my previous post was. I hope you are able to find your way to a recovery. Godspeed, sir.

It wasn't facetious, it was just funny. I did actually laugh out loud, as I got the reference immediately. Thanks for that. And by the way, I personally think you are rather underrated here - one of the wittiest guys on the forum.

Thanks Meems, means a lot. You were, are and always will be a lovely and wonderful person.