I think he prefers to be called Kov

Yuck, I hope those pass soon for you.

At least you can shop in Tesco now

Have they lifted my ban?

My sore arm went on a long while, surprisingly. No other side effects, but I couldn’t sleep on my left for four days afterwards. A small inconvenience to pay for superpowers.

Having a tough few days with this. I got a bit upset the other day with someone telling us that they were going to come to our house to visit on X day, would be staying for lunch, that we’re going to have to learn to just live with Covid. I don’t know if it was the idea of the visit (which I will not enjoy) so much as the loss of any kind of agency or control in my own home. Someone has told me that they will come over, into my home, that it’s time we let people visit indoors (until now we’ve kept visits to outside meetings) and that I am to cook for them, without checking first to see if we had other plans (which we did). I think the thing that’s bothered me most is the idea that because someone else has decided that they are now going to do the whole visiting indoors bit, that it’s automatically time that we do, too, and that they are going to force it on us. There’s been a lot of that throughout, where I’ve found that if someone decides that they are ready for a certain level of exposure they dictate that everyone else should be, too.

Then of course Bean is ill, and has been sent home from school after developing a cough, and has to have a clear PCR before being allowed back to school. I’m absolutely fine with this and it is the right thing, and I’d absolutely want the same if it had been another child that developed the cough, it’s just another stress in the meantime. And this is the 4th cough since September and it feels never ending.

Well, it’s mine and Russell’s, and Russell just replied with ‘ok, we can make that day free’, so I think that boat has sailed somewhat. We’re both conflict averse, so end up going along with a lot of stuff that we don’t want to at times.

The thing is, if they’d said something like: ‘hello, we’d like to see you but wondered how you might feel about meeting up? We’d love to visit but understand that now it’s colder that this would probably mean meeting indoors, and wondered how you might feel about that. We’d understand if you weren’t ready to meet indoors yet, but thought we’d ask.

If you were amenable to meeting indoors, we’d love to see you. We are free on X day, but can discuss diaries when you’ve both had a chat about how you feel’.

Or, honestly, just anything that wasn’t a demand, I’d feel a lot more comfortable and also a lot more confident that they’d do the right thing if they weren’t feeling 100%, etc.

It’s hanging over me like a big rock right now.

See also the people in my life who keep telling me it’s time I started going supermarket shopping again. I’ve not been to a supermarket in about 5 years. That’s not a Covid thing. Go enjoy your Tesco, leave me to my internet groceries.

Even without covid, this would be unacceptably rude, you ASK a person if you want to visit, you don't inform people you will visit!
with covid it goes from rude to self centered and uncaring
I think Russell needs to practice "I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know" so you have time to come up with a response you're both comfortable with
I don't know who this is in relation to you but I would gladly bite them for you (covid safe of course)

As I'm only just down the road, I can volunteer to "pretend" to be a violent stinking tramp that's set up home on your doorstep. You can stand at the upstairs window and shout to them that you can't get me to move and I've got rabies and to run for their lives. Would that help?

"I will talk it over with Mimi and will let you know"

but the key was the wording, it became something like 'I'm not sure that works for us, so hold on and I'll let you know'

I like the phrase "If only you'd asked me sooner..."

When you're face to face it gives you time to think of an excuse.

If that were happening in real time I can guarantee my conversation would go

“If only you’d asked me sooner”
“Why, what are you doing?”
“Er……… er……. um……..”

Just go out for the day, and then say you forgot

Or, “I’ve just come down with a really nasty cough and need to get a test, sorry”

Just do what we used to do when the loan lady came around: turn off the lights and hide behind the sofa

I didn't mean to imply Russell did anything wrong
just that if you manage to put the phone down without giving an answer yet, it helps with feeling more in control and gives you time and also sends a signal to the person that it's not up to them but up to Russell and you
I hope you guys can find some way that works for you