Be Excellent To Each Other

WHO declare it a pandemic

WHOM

Nah, he's referring to the band

I thought it was The Doctor

I think it's the World Health Organisation.

THEY

Don't be playing football matches you fucking idiot.

Tom Hanks has the coronavirus noooooooooooooooooooo

Just had an argument with someone on Twitter (yes I know) who genuinely thought that the UK government has identified 100% of cases of coronavirus in the UK and there is no one in the UK with coronavirus who hasn't been identified and it's entirely contained, and that this is what the CMO and PHE have said.

I mean, fucking hell.

They also thought that BA stopping flights from affected countries to the UK plus voluntary self-isolation was the same as banning all flights from affected countries.

All very "We're doing everything we should and everything's fine".

Madness.

How can people be this stupid?

I'm waiting for Dominic Cummings and his team of misfit wierdo superforecasters to tell us how Bismark and the Apollo 11 team would have done things.

I feel like this comment will age poorly.

Just like the human race, am I right?

One of my colleagues has a holiday to the US coming up this month. He was told at the weekend that his flight would no longer be going direct but via Dusseldorf instead. I wonder if it might be cancelled outright now or switched back to direct.

bbc post

Apparently you can asked your home speaker to tell you what is going on by saying "Coronavirus update from the bbc"

I tried it, my google home speaker replied.

"Sorry, I can't find any news about coronavirus"

Really?

Youtube is being bombarded with it. I wouldn't mind but I hate the news and don't watch it.

I also self isolate and leave the house alone around 3 times a year, but it's starting to make me think too much.

My work just had an all colleague call about coronavirus. But only half of us could call in because they underestimated the number needed. So they had us put our phones on speaker, and the others came into our room so they could listen.

They really turned up the screws today in holland... cancelling all sports, all big events etc..

The Czech Republic announced earlier that they were banning inbound travel from 15 countries - including the UK, so that's our holiday to Prague at the end of the month buggered.

Then, a few hours later, the organisers of WordCamp Europe announced they were postponing the event from June 2020 until June 2021. That was in Porto, and although that wasn't the only reason we were going (we had a few days after the conference for touristy stuff before coming home) it's a bit of a bugger.

Still the right decisions though, I'm sure.

Loads of loo roll in the local M&S. Blackheath not panicking yet.

Only four-packs left in Arnold Aldi. And no hand sanitiser in Sainsbury’s.

These were the scenes in Tesco in Dudley on Tuesday. This rack should be full of toilet rolls.

Morrison's next to work is only empty of Yorkshire tea. Which is the only thing I want to buy a big box of, because we're nearly out. Feck.

Have a cup of delightful boiled toilet paper instead.

That should be a more full throated laughing dimlie but I'm on my phone.

Just add an extra D

->

Things I didn't expect to see #42: craster use dimlies to explain double penetration.

They had plenty of pg tips.

Made me chuckle.

Can we hire the cottage for two weeks and self isolate.

It will be great.

I'm not sure you get the concept, bud

Was talking to my buddy yesterday who's an IT colleague and our own personal medical advisor three days a week and an AMU doctor for the rest. He still seems pretty chill about the whole thing, but I'm still going to pop to the model shop at lunchtime to stock up on a couple of kits and some paint before all the other nerds start doomsday prepping.

I was supposed to have a dentist appointment this morning, but postponed it as a precaution as I seem to have developed a wheezy cough over the past few days. Probably not wise to turn up and cough in their faces during the check-up. Might have to self-isolate even more than usual for a bit.

I think Mr Johnson's "many old folks will die" was his attempt at rhetorical Churchillian cosplay and merely served to show the limits of his fantasy. He certainly looked uncomfortable next to actual experts but at least he didn't claim to know more than them (outtrump, you might say).

I'll give him credit and say it was right for him to say that, he's not wrong and it might reinforce the message about following guidance if people understand what's on the line.

Health expert brands UK's corona virus response 'pathetic.'

The prof used to work in the regional government office when I was IT and Facilities manager. A bit of a nightmare to work with, e.g. he refused to participate in test fire evacuations, but he did know his health shit. The media do like to wheel him out in times of crisis, especially when the government are making a hash of their responses.

I would rather die with friends

Cornomafia!

Giphy "too soon?":
https://media2.giphy.com/media/3o7qDXEcGjVkDroGEo/giphy-loop.mp4

It's a lovely day in the town, and you have a horrible cough.

You should have said! You're coming to the cottage this year, right?

It's the next morning and cras has died from Corona virus, you find a huge stash of toilet rolls in his bed room! Cras was the Panic Buyer

AKA The Honey Monster.

WTF why am I dead?! Dickheads

Czech Republic just closed its borders

Can't be true, I've been reliably told that EU countries can't control their borders

My local Aldi have given up hope, just dropping pallets of Toilet roll in the aisle.

I've just been told that folks at my company are all going to be WFH for the forseeable future.