From a reviewer’s point of view, starting a massive game like Shenmue 3 just seven hours before the review embargo, and some eight hours after thousands of people started playing it via their Kickstarter backer status is far from ideal. Maybe it’s just a nice way to reward those who supported the game, because they really are playing it first. Or could the critical delay be because Shenmue 3 just isn’t any good? Well, after six straight hours’ play of the finished game on a retail PS4, I’m 90% convinced it actually is good. But if ever a game was the digital equivalent of ‘an acquired taste’ then it’s Shenmue. And boy, is this ever a Shenmue game.

Still, despite these annoyances, despite the fact that it’s a game designed with decades-old sensibilities, I can’t wait to play more. From where it’s gone so far, though, I’m worried it won’t be the satisfying conclusion we’ve been waiting two decades for. Part of the mythos of Shenmue is that we only needed one more game to see Ryo’s revenge story pay off. People funded this game because they were looking for closure, and I’m concerned that there won’t be any. Ryo, as always, is just too busy dicking about.

Hands On: Shenmue III Is a Fantastic Sequel That's Been Frozen in Time

I like the 2019 John Lewis. No schmaltz, good tune, solid plot, festive without being all tinsel and fairy lights. Yeah. Not bad

... their children were being made to pray and watch re-enactments of Bible scenes, including the crucifixion, during assemblies ...

Do they define “planet” in this context? Surely it’s the moon, unless there are smaller bodies out there that are closer but not well known.

Despite having a further year's experience under my belt, the Cheshire Christmas Play (produced, "written" and directed by BigOne, ably assisted by BackUpKidney) has seen me demoted me from "Mary's Wife" to "Incidental Donkey". More lines, though .

Video available to premium subscribers.

We're doing some "Host Family" thing for international students for the local fancy-pants boarding school, and we have our first assignment this weekend. Two 16 year old girls from China. I'm cacking myself! What do young people like? Will they just sit in their rooms playing Minecraft or will I have to speak to them? What if they ask me to help with their homework or to give them advice on boys!? ARRRRHHSGDGHASDcv .xzxcvh.....!!!@4one!!

Well, after this we've had one of the students back about 8 times, and they've just given us a Christmas pressie, which is basically a set of "World's Best Mum & Dad" mugs to say thank you for hosting them which was very sweet and we all felt a bit emotional and did it suddenly get very dusty in here?

Awwwww, that’s so cute!

As it now transpires, a knife to a narwhal horn and fire extinguisher fight.

They should be on some kind of medal of honour or coat of arms. Someone said the men should be knighted..

As long as the SSID (network name) and password are the same, your phone won't even care if they're on separate internet connections.

*the* music