Be Excellent To Each Other :: View topic

I’m teaching Darwin (3) about body privacy at the moment. At the same time we are also learning about trees in our walks to nursery. At the same time Darwin seems to have woken up to how stunningly beautiful his mummy is and how she dresses so fine.

So, this has all got a bit confused. He knows that a woman’s chest should be private. But it also got a bit confused with the naming of trees. And how we wear clothes, so he keeps saying things like: ‘mummy, I love your rainbow jumper. It is so beautiful and so soft when you wear it on your big chestnuts’.

I'm not bothered either way... I'd sleep with it shut or open. I also sleep with the curtains open sometimes.

TheVision wrote:

I'm not bothered either way... I'd sleep with it shut or open. I also sleep with the curtains open sometimes.

I have always slept with the curtains open, as does my youngest son. It feels a bit weird with the curtains shut.

I'm not too fussed about the door.

Ruth finds it very odd. She shuts Sam's curtains every night and you can hear him open them right back up as soon as she shuts the door

I think it's almost the opposite of the door shutting/wolves things - it's a case of not liking feeling trapped. I also love waking up to proper daylight.

I slept with the bedroom door open last night, it was uneventful.

Trooper wrote:

I slept with the bedroom door open last night, it was uneventful.

Did you have your foot out of the covers?

Katie is now 9 and still has no concept of privacy. Forever we have practiced her body autonomy as in no means no, stop means stop etc and she has gleefully applies the term "restricted area" for armpits in a tickle fight
but privacy :roll:

I keep explaining it and she hears me but it doesn't mean anything. Steve found her and her friend at after school care happily sharing a toilet (as in the bowl not the cubicle) because "they both needed to go desperately and it fit". In one of our sex ed chats recently she said stunned "so when Wessel ("boyfriend") and I live together and you come to visit you will not watch?!?! - NO!"
she had a sleepover at a classmates and both of them wanted to have a bath together, her mum asked if I was ok with that, sure why not. I am assuming at some point something will kick in right?

flop his willy over the waistband of his shorts and run around outside

Quote:

flop his willy over the waistband of his shorts and run around outside

*Sheepishly tucks it away and goes home*

I think their understanding of toilet waste (particularly poo) being a private act that they wouldn’t want to share as it is ‘dirty’ though natural kicks in sooner, because a lot of young toddlers will hide when pooing and still in nappies.

Texan trophy hunter who controversially posed with a rare black giraffe's body has revealed that she ate the animal and it was "delicious."

Tess Thompson Talley, 37, also said she made decorative pillow cases and a gun case from the carcass.

I saw that Curio witnessed a fantastic game of cricket yesterday. Good for him!

Shame we don't have a cricket thread.

nickachu wrote:

I saw that Curio witnessed a fantastic game of cricket yesterday. Good for him!

Shame we don't have a cricket thread.

Yes! It was ace!

Curiosity wrote:

nickachu wrote:

I saw that Curio witnessed a fantastic game of cricket yesterday. Good for him!

Shame we don't have a cricket thread.

Yes! It was ace!

I was watching the Sky coverage of the game and in their various shots of the crowd, the commentators didn't seem to recognise Tilda Swinton.

Important bin news!

For the flats we used to have 3 communal general waste bins, 1 cardboard and paper, and 1 glass and bottles.
Take out the rubbish this morning and they have replaced all the bins... we now have 5 general waste bins, all with a sticker saying "please recycle" on them.

I'm a maverick, wrong day, wrong thread, I knew it and I didn't care.

Trooper wrote:

I'm a maverick, wrong day, wrong thread, I knew it and I didn't care.

At least you’re now admitting you’re wrong. It’s the first step on the road to redemption.

What's that hitty sticky thing Squirt does? Squirt?

Author:	Nik [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 13:57 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Mimi wrote: I’m teaching Darwin (3) about body privacy at the moment. At the same time we are also learning about trees in our walks to nursery. At the same time Darwin seems to have woken up to how stunningly beautiful his mummy is and how she dresses so fine. So, this has all got a bit confused. He knows that a woman’s chest should be private. But it also got a bit confused with the naming of trees. And how we wear clothes, so he keeps saying things like: ‘mummy, I love your rainbow jumper. It is so beautiful and so soft when you wear it on your big chestnuts’.

Author:	MrChris [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 14:25 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
TheVision wrote: I'm not bothered either way... I'd sleep with it shut or open. I also sleep with the curtains open sometimes. I have always slept with the curtains open, as does my youngest son. It feels a bit weird with the curtains shut. I'm not too fussed about the door.

Author:	Mimi [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 14:29 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
MrChris wrote: TheVision wrote: I'm not bothered either way... I'd sleep with it shut or open. I also sleep with the curtains open sometimes. I have always slept with the curtains open, as does my youngest son. It feels a bit weird with the curtains shut. I'm not too fussed about the door. Pretty sure this is some kind of serial killer behaviour.

Author:	MrChris [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 14:31 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Ruth finds it very odd. She shuts Sam's curtains every night and you can hear him open them right back up as soon as she shuts the door I think it's almost the opposite of the door shutting/wolves things - it's a case of not liking feeling trapped. I also love waking up to proper daylight.

Author:	Mimi [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 14:34 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
MrChris wrote: Ruth finds it very odd. She shuts Sam's curtains every night and you can hear him open them right back up as soon as she shuts the door I think it's almost the opposite of the door shutting/wolves things - it's a case of not liking feeling trapped. I also love waking up to proper daylight. So do I. I just wish it didn’t happen until 8am

Be Excellent To Each Other https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/

Bits and Bobs 50 https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=11218	Page 48 of 100

Author:	MrChris [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 14:36 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Ha, well. Two things there - kids getting older means a bit more lie in, and also living by the equator means sunrise is around about 7am every day

Author:	Malc [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 14:38 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
I've often slept with the curtains open (when my house wasn't right next to a street lamp any way) I quite like looking up at the stars and/or moon, but would often then wake up at sunrise, where I would immediately shut them. I really don't like the door being open when I sleep, however my wife much prefers it open. Which has meant having the "compromise" position of it being slightly wider than ajar.

Author:	DavPaz [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 15:07 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Door closed, blackout curtains engaged. As dark as possible, please.

Author:	MaliA [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 15:08 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Anytime, anywhere.

Author:	Grim... [ Wed Jun 05, 2019 15:36 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Right, right. Someone said 'alien', she thought they said illegal alien and signed up!

Author:	Trooper [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:59 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
I slept with the bedroom door open last night, it was uneventful.

Author:	Cras [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:06 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Welcome, NewTrooper!

Author:	Zardoz [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:11 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Trooper wrote: I slept with the bedroom door open last night, it was uneventful. But it made my round so much easier.

Author:	DavPaz [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:14 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Trooper wrote: I slept with the bedroom door open last night, it was uneventful. Did you have your foot out of the covers?

Author:	JBR [ Sat Jun 08, 2019 22:11 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
They're not always even knowledgeable about their own sport. Mark Nicholas described it as "a surprise" that Shakib Al Hasan was in the top 3 all-rounders in the world. He's been such for years. And years. Wikipedia says "Shakib is widely acknowledged as one of the greatest all-rounders in the world". But not by a bloke whose one job is to know cricketers.

Author:	Trooper [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:17 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
DavPaz wrote: Trooper wrote: I slept with the bedroom door open last night, it was uneventful. Did you have your foot out of the covers? I'm not a fucking madman.

Author:	MaliA [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:20 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
I was in bed for 12 hours as I have The Poorlies. MrsA thought it a good idea to put a three year old in with me.l who then took up all the space and when I got out of bed and walked tot the other side occupied there, too.

Author:	DavPaz [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:21 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Day bed

Author:	Cras [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:07 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
No.

Author:	MaliA [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:11 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Day bed would have been a good shout. Covered in Mazza and Hazza's menagerie though.

Author:	MaliA [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:28 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Haha and Wezza

Author:	miki [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 10:01 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Mimi wrote: I’m teaching Darwin (3) about body privacy at the moment. At the same time we are also learning about trees in our walks to nursery. At the same time Darwin seems to have woken up to how stunningly beautiful his mummy is and how she dresses so fine. So, this has all got a bit confused. He knows that a woman’s chest should be private. But it also got a bit confused with the naming of trees. And how we wear clothes, so he keeps saying things like: ‘mummy, I love your rainbow jumper. It is so beautiful and so soft when you wear it on your big chestnuts’. brilliant Katie is now 9 and still has no concept of privacy. Forever we have practiced her body autonomy as in no means no, stop means stop etc and she has gleefully applies the term "restricted area" for armpits in a tickle fight but privacy I keep explaining it and she hears me but it doesn't mean anything. Steve found her and her friend at after school care happily sharing a toilet (as in the bowl not the cubicle) because "they both needed to go desperately and it fit". In one of our sex ed chats recently she said stunned "so when Wessel ("boyfriend") and I live together and you come to visit you will not watch?!?! - NO!" she had a sleepover at a classmates and both of them wanted to have a bath together, her mum asked if I was ok with that, sure why not. I am assuming at some point something will kick in right?

Author:	Mimi [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 10:47 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
I honestly don’t know when it comes into play. It would seem difficult as it’s trying to teach about the privacy of body parts that (mostly) relate to sexual acts and reproduction before they have any idea and understanding of sexual urges and why they are a private thing. I think their understanding of toilet waste (particularly poo) being a private act that they wouldn’t want to share as it is ‘dirty’ though natural kicks in sooner, because a lot of young toddlers will hide when pooing and still in nappies. I think a lot of children naturally develop a strong need for body privacy at puberty, when they notice their bodies changing, but for safety we try to instil that thinking earlier than it would naturally develop, so I think it’s a difficult one. I think young girls bathing together has been pretty much the norm through history.

Author:	myp [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 10:59 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
MaliA wrote: Haha and Wezza All right Dazza. Settle down.

Author:	KovacsC [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 11:33 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
I am watching the D-Day service on the BBC. I am in bits, hearing the men describing the day. There are only about 100 of the veterans left.

Author:	Jem [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 12:20 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
miki wrote: Katie is now 9 and still has no concept of privacy. Forever we have practiced her body autonomy as in no means no, stop means stop etc and she has gleefully applies the term "restricted area" for armpits in a tickle fight but privacy I keep explaining it and she hears me but it doesn't mean anything. Steve found her and her friend at after school care happily sharing a toilet (as in the bowl not the cubicle) because "they both needed to go desperately and it fit". In one of our sex ed chats recently she said stunned "so when Wessel ("boyfriend") and I live together and you come to visit you will not watch?!?! - NO!" she had a sleepover at a classmates and both of them wanted to have a bath together, her mum asked if I was ok with that, sure why not. I am assuming at some point something will kick in right? Izzy has only more recently starting requesting she bathes and showers alone, shows signs of wanting privacy etc. She's 9.5. I don't teach that body parts are private as such (and we're often naked around each other) but I am really strict on autonomy and consent. So it's more about personal comfort levels than a blanket "you must never do X Y Z". Seem to be talking to a brick wall with Olly though who constantly smacks people's bums, pulls hair and pounces on people for hugs. I don't want him to not be affectionate but at the same time not everyone wants the full weight of a 7 year old thrown at them constantly.

Author:	Mimi [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 12:35 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Darwin was talking about his ‘nippers’ today. The two spots on his chest are called nippers. Daddy has nippers, too. I think the body privacy and consent things are blurred examples of the same thing/terminology. By ‘privacy’ I mean Darwin needs to understand he can’t just touch a person’s ‘chestnuts’ , or, indeed, flop his willy over the waistband of his shorts and run around outside because it looks funny. He can spend all day naked at home if he wants, and we still bathe together, but other peoples bodies are private (consent here assumed not given, as even if his friends were to say it was ok for him to touch their bodies and vice versa, they are too young to know what they consent to that age) and he’s too young to understand the degrees of consent with other adults outside of family, so the idea of a private ‘self’ is just easier for him to grasp at the moment. I think it’s more just a difference in terminology as Darwin understands ‘privacy’ as a word and concept before he understands the difference between consenting and allowing within the adult/child relationships he knows: parents, family, nursery staff, family friends, others.

Author:	Satsuma [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 12:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Quote: flop his willy over the waistband of his shorts and run around outside Sheepishly tucks it away and goes home

Author:	miki [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 13:03 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
It's fascinating to see how she responds and develops around these things. She does completely get the consent aspect of touching another person and being touched etc. But the idea of anyone not wanting her to walk into the bathroom when the're using the toilet just does-not-compute. She doesn't see any issue with touching my "chestnuts" but will immediately stop if I say I don't want to or "restricted area" or use the trusted school rhyme which translates roughly to "stop, desist, I don't like this anymore" which is the one of the most powerful spells in existence She is currently obsessed with a book about puberty but maintained that she doesn't have "nippers" she's a lovely blend of enthusiastic fascination and cluelessness at the moment

Author:	Mimi [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 13:37 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Childhood can be so funny. I love trying to decide how Darwin sees the world and how his rules for life change almost weekly. Hilarious at the moment are the many ways he thinks he can delay bed time by 20 minutes, and all the funny turns of phrase he’s picked up.

Author:	Nik [ Thu Jun 06, 2019 15:02 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Mimi wrote: I think their understanding of toilet waste (particularly poo) being a private act that they wouldn’t want to share as it is ‘dirty’ though natural kicks in sooner, because a lot of young toddlers will hide when pooing and still in nappies. This is true. Violet's at the "if I can't see you, you can't see me" stage, so when she puts her hands over her eyes, and squats, we know what she's up to.

Author:	nickachu [ Fri Jun 07, 2019 0:50 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
I saw that Curio witnessed a fantastic game of cricket yesterday. Good for him! Shame we don't have a cricket thread.

Author:	Mr Dave [ Fri Jun 07, 2019 6:05 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Iy needs to go in the sports subforum

Author:	MaliA [ Sat Jun 08, 2019 16:02 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
Quote: Texan trophy hunter who controversially posed with a rare black giraffe's body has revealed that she ate the animal and it was "delicious." Tess Thompson Talley, 37, also said she made decorative pillow cases and a gun case from the carcass. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/0 ... cious/amp/ Thatsbait.gif

Author:	Curiosity [ Sat Jun 08, 2019 16:05 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 50
nickachu wrote: I saw that Curio witnessed a fantastic game of cricket yesterday. Good for him! Shame we don't have a cricket thread. Yes! It was ace!