Be Excellent To Each Other

I once went out with a girl who smothered her pizzas in salad cream.

I want to be Findus too!

I can’t find AW though. Maybe I had it for the DS...

Roll up, roll up. We need two more for the Findus Five (not a euphemism).

Am I doing this right?

I wanna play!

I do have this...

but I'm fairly sure it's a fake, albeit a pretty good one.

This is genius, why did I not think of this?

This here is an evergreen opinion.

You're both Right, you fascist pigs.

I used to have salad cream on my ravioli & chips at school.

Mayo (normally mixed with Chipotle Cholula) for me these days.

When developers put temporary text in the navigation and forget to change it before it goes live...

I made something live the other day that still had "Bloaty Head Deflation" as one of the procedures managers could choose when trying to justify their consultants' overtime.

Stop buying Cholula wrong. The garlic is the correct choice.

I've never had Cholula. Is it as nice as Salad Cream?

I've been playing Advance Wars this afternoon.

Brilliant isn't it?

Yup.

Almost as good as Space Cows.

oh shit I forgot this existed, that's breakfast sorted! Fresh laid eggs and artisan sourdough bread natch.

Bugger me it's hot.

Where are you? It's only about 20 degrees here

I think one of my cheap clocks-with-thermometers might have been lying to me.

Auntie Beeb says 20°C here in North East Oxfordshire too so bedroom clock is more trustworthy than kitchen clock. Which is probably just as well.

Still, sitting in the garden drinking beer and reading the paper in the sun is ace.

Although now there's only 3° between them and I don't know what to believe anymore.

Have you put them both in direct sunlight?

Yes. That probably hasn't helped!

That'll explain it

Next up in misleading domestic appliance news: why does the '30 minute quickwash' function on my washing machine always take longer?

Maybe they used a poorly calibrated cheap clock/timer. We have a Panasonic microwave with a clock that gains about 10 minutes per month.

My guess: it’s an estimate, because the cycle uses sensor feedback, it’s not a fixed programme. For example it’ll vary with input water temperature. Some dishwashers have variable length rinse cycles that use optical cleanliness sensors mounted in the drain pipe; maybe some washing machines are similar.

Or it could be a shitty clock.

Political violence in the Shire!

BBC: 'Dog bites Oxfordshire council leader in Bicester'

Doesn't look that bad, sympathy vote etc.

What was he doesn't to the dog to get it to bite him anyways?

I literally says in the first sentence.

Trying to parse this sentence makes me feel like I'm having a stroke.

I mean, it's only one word he mistyped

No mention of what'll happen to the dog...

I didn't even notice that it said 'posting the leaflet through the door' nor that I had typed 'doesn't' not 'doing' man it's too early for this shit.

Yeah, totally, it's just interesting how much a single word can screw up my brain's ability to read something. I also realise my tone in that post made it look like I was having a go but it was just meant to be an observation.

Lol I went back and struggled too, even knowing what it was meant to say

Who the frig puts their hand/finger through the letterbox anyway?

Dog bite victims I suppose.

You have to sometimes, if they're stiff or the item you're posting only just fits.

Indeed, sometimes when it's a little stiff you have to use the fingers to get it open...

Don't worry, he's not a Liberal.

No, I don't.

Can't say we've really noticed the trump/kim extravaganza this week. The roads have been a lot quieter but but i think that is more to do with this being the local school holiday - a lot of people are out of the country this week. Perhaps the Singapore government planned it that way....

Yeah, did they not tell you? All the rest of the world got together and we're going to nuke it while they're both in the same place.

Why nuke, just a standard airstrike should be sufficient; less collateral damage and whatnot.

Because it's the only way to be sure.

We've got to get rid of the nukes.

They've left. You missed your chance.

To be honest, they were a secondary target.