Be Excellent To Each Other

I'm fine with both upskilling and reach out. Both have a specific meaning not really covered by other terms.

As management bullshit buzzwords go it's very much on the milder end of the scale.

I don’t mind so much if someone is said to reach out to a group of people, it’s when they reach out to one person that seems wrong to me. I’d prefer ‘appeal to’ or ......anything but reach out. We managed without using that that expression for aeons and I’ not going to start using it ever. BUT, it shouldn’t annoy me, really.

What about reaching out and touching faith?

I would if I could but I can’t. Someone beat me to it.



But seriously, I’ve mever heard of ‘touching faith.’

Saying "ping me" and expecting an email of some kind makes me want to kill.

Oh man I love “ping me”

Yes.

Do you reply telling them how far away you are?

I will now. Awesome

In milliseconds, of course

Mafiascum.

My son's nursery didn't have any of that and its the same place he now attends school.

I was quite relieved really, as at the time all of our NCT friends were posting graduation pictures on Facebook and like you thought it was total bollocks

That said if he had one I would have made sure he had everything he needed and made a huge fuss because it would have really mattered to him.

Our school makes up for it with endless theatrical productions that cost me money, spent £13 in Matlan this week on a blue tee shirt and leggings so he can be a raindrop in some show

Easter was a good £10 on a hat, glue and easter chickens that I stuck on for the Easter Bonnet parade, was quite proud of that though as don't have a crafty bone in my body and do worry that I fall short in that area for him.

Haha, I love the idea of a raindrop costume!!

Current annoyance Herons.

The local one was on my fence last weekend and its look very likely the feathered shit has cleaned out my fish pond for the 3rd time in 7 years.

Had a lot of rocks and plants for them to hide in, but not seen any for a week, just went out with a torch now and nothing

Slim chance they are hiding, hoping to drain the pond this weekend so will see

Further Heron annoyance, its illegal to shoot the fuckers

I would never shoot one but just wish i would go and get its dinner in a river

Ohhh... That reminds me! Things that annoy me. Parents doing their kids work for them.

My girls had an Easter bonnet parade and as usual, we let them do what they wanted with the bonnets. Obviously they looked messy but they were ace and totally random.

Asfish, I'm sure your son helped so I'm not picking on you. It just reminded me.

Cats. We've had to buy a fucking enormous cage to put over our veg patch because next doors half dozen love shitting in it.

We can't drape netting over it because birds keep getting tangled and dying, which is quite upsetting.

I don't think cats fall into the 'shouldn't annoy me' category though. Murderous shitting machines that they are.

I had to get a collection of ultrasonic electro-zapper devices to stop the neighbourhood cats shitting all over our back yard.

And they kill things for fun, things that are nicer than they are.

Not sure a human can be too self righteous about any other animal that shits up the place and kills other creatures for fun.

I like cats well enough, we had a cat about four years ago but Jnr fell out with her big time and we had to rehome her. She had a habit of jumping on my keyboard when she wanted attention, or some of what I was eating.

They are murderous shitting bastards though.

We have a cat and I love her to bits, but they do kill for kicks though. Earlier in the week she came into our conservatory and ate 2 packs of wet food.

I was a nice day so after eating she went to sleep on our patio table.

My wife had left some of the conservatory doors open and a small sparrow flew in, the cat was off the table in a flash onto the bird

Thankfully my wife intervened and we put the shaken but otherwise ok bird on some high tree branches and I let the cat into my PC room to sleep so the bird had a chance.

I’ve been thinking about this more today, due to unrelated things, and I remember the other high pressure parenting ‘decision’ before having Darwin was the pressure to have a really calm, beautiful and painkiller-free birthing ‘experience’.

When preparing to push a 9lb+ baby out of your body, don’t reject those pains, light some candles, put on your favourite live songs, get some scented oils out and have a romantic dance with your partner.

I had a drug-free birth, of a 9lb+ baby (I keep writing that as I can’t remember how much he weighed! ) not through choice but hospital crapness, and midwives that did not believe my baby was coming out of me when he was. Man... I do not recommend it. It’s not a badge of honour for me. It left me with PTSD and a fear of things that has changed my life.

Obviously, I should be annoyed by that, and will be, but the bit that I’m a bit miffed about is the suggested purity of birth being ‘spoiled’ if you take the ‘easy’ route of help. That somehow you’ve failed.

If I could go back and get some help or relief through that birth, I would.

Lift up the receiver, I'll make you a believer.

You don't need to go back, simply have more babies!

I dunno, at my place we have now got MS Lync, and because the icon is a speech bubble, everyone uses the word "bubble" as a verb meaning "to contact via MS Lync". Clearly, as a miserable cunt, I should hate this. But I quite like it. I think it's partly because the alternative is using "Lync" as a verb which just sounds wrong.

Or use 'message' or 'IM'.

Bubble? Fucking hell.

..we have a lot of people who've been around since everything was paper based, and they remember when the office got its first computer. As in singular.

Yeah, Lync is used by shitloads of companies and I'm going to guarantee none of them talk about Lync-ing someone. My previous company used Lotus Notes for IM and precisely no one ever talked about Notes-ing anyone else. That's pretty weird.

That said we have Jabber and that's quickly became a verb. I don't mind, though. If I said to some people that I had sent them an IM they wouldn't have the first clue what I was on about and if I just said message they'd start looking in Outlook.

That's not so terrible on the basis that jabber actually is a verb.

I thought it was a noun as in "quit yo jibber jabber fool"

I quite like ‘Bubble’ because it sounds u inquest yo that group of workers, and kind of happy.

I associate it with Cockney Rhyming Slang.

Lync? It's been Skype for Business for years now hasn't it?

Yes but the process that runs is still called 'lync.exe'

Link dot ee ex ee me

You've done corporate IT support before, you know just how far behind the curve most big companies are on the desktop.

Ours changed almost instantly and we were still on Windows 7 so not exactly ahead of the curve. I thought the brand change was just an automatic update. The rest of the software stayed the same (even the executable name as Z said).

Someone once told me we would "follow up on ping" and what they meant was "I'll message you later on Hangouts."

I assume you gutted them there and then.

HR frowns on it

'I'll ping you' means 'I'll send you money using online banking'. I understand your disappointment.

"I'll ping... you pong"

My colleague sitting across from me hums under his breath when he concentrates, it is driving me out of my mind…I want to reach over and bash his brains in with a wireless keyboard. But I’m English, so I won’t, I will continue to roll my eyes to the utmost and occasionally tut.

Steady on.

It is very annoying

Comes under the general heading of 'other people.'

I used to sit where I could not avoid seeing a large lady at another bank of desks, who spent the whole day eating snacks and other food that she'd produce out of her desk or bags at the side of it. All day, every day. Drove me crazy, though she was a very nice person apart from this habit.

I bet the hummer doesn't realize he's doing it.

Talking of tutting, that's something I used to do (and possibly still do) without realizing I was doing it, usually when a user was asking for help on some issue to which they really should have known the answer.

There's a woman who comes into our office about once a week with the most amazingly strident, carrying voice. Not necessarily loud, it just really carries. You can hear her from the other side of the office, especially when she's on conference calls.

She's always on conference calls. Massive conference calls. And she always takes a verbal roll call (who does that?!). So basically you just have her voice carrying over everything else droning through a massive list of names. Every week.

For some reason I think of something like this quite often.
All of the Level 2 managers went away on some 2 day training course where they got overexcited at the dinner service and kept instagramming pictures of how shiny the cutlery was (?) When they came back two days later they had learned ‘a thing’ (from what I could tell it was the only thing that they learned). So, from that day until the day I left the hot word was ‘triggered’.

‘Oh no, have you been triggered?’
‘If you’ve been triggered do you want to step out for five minutes and go sort yourself out?’
‘ARE YOU TRIGGERED?’
‘I think he’s been triggered’.
‘Do you find this triggering’.

No, Stacy, I find issues around rape, coercement and cruelty are my trigger points, not Brenda short-ordering fifty sausage rolls.