a) Rapp was allegedly harassed when he was 14, which is pretty nasty and reason enough to believe this situation caused him so much stress. Now there are some other people, who were grown man, to claim to have PTSD from crouch grabbing Spacey.

I think you are completely, completely wrong. I do not think having someone grope your genitals is something that you should need to ‘grow a spine’ over at any age. You may be able to get over it, that doesn’t mean that everyone else can.

I think you are completely, completely wrong. I do not think having someone grope your genitals is something that you should need to ‘grow a spine’ over at any age. You may be able to get over it, that doesn’t mean that everyone else can.

Ok, maybe I wasn't sensitive enough. I'm sorry. Maybe the guy had some rough upbringing and crouch grabbing triggers something, i dunno. Each one of us has our own demons. I had a boss who was a bully which gave me much more headaches than any crotch grabbing, so yes, but it's not like I'm asking for his career to be finished, like some people are doing with dustin hoffman for something shitty he said more than 30 years ago.

What's the cut-off point for a grown man? Sixteen years old?

You sound like a sociopath, sorry. You need to work on your empathy.

Seriously, that's a really shitty thing to say. You don't know me.

Seriously, that's a really shitty thing to say. You don't know me.

It's interesting, actually. RuySan, you're Portuguese, yes? I get the impression that Portugal still goes in for the whole "machismo" thing. Where men are expected to be MEN and not have feelings and such. Correct me if I'm wrong, naturally!

Being called a sociopath ain’t the worst thing in the world. I can think of much more insulting names that one human can call another.

Myp is all of them.

crouch grabbing

But i'm not a sociopath, but it's not the first time someone said something like that, so why should i expect better from this forum?

That's fascinating, Ruysan. I confess that I know very little about Portuguese politics. That whole Anglo Saxon political correctness thing is stunning. Is it seen to radiate from us?

What's the cut-off point for a grown man? Sixteen years old?

But you seem to be asking for an understanding that your society, way of life, priorities should be different from that of the ‘Anglo-Saxon Western PC culture’ that is ‘infecting’ your way of life, but it’s perhaps one of the tenets of a more understanding (‘PC’, if you will) way of seeing things that asks people to step back and say ‘I understand your way of life may have different values...’. Otherwise you might write whole nations off as savages for their differences. Unfortunately sexual assault is slightly different in that speaking up is still taboo... here in the UK as much as many other places, and you, whether from UK, Portugal, anywhere else should perhaps not make a call on the worthiness of a victim for the abuse they have suffered, or the point at which, or age at which, somethjng becomes inappropriate, affecting, life changing... Portuguese victims of sexual harassment need space and support to say ‘this happened to me and is wrong’ as much as anybody else on the planet if they need to. You, with your experiences, say you have no need, and that’s good that you have moved on unaffected, but war, famine, oppressive regimes, natural disaster... whatever ‘big’ and nationally awful things that might happen to a nation may not eclipse the awful things that might affect people on a personal level, but rather add on to it. An extreme example, but somebody raped during an occupation of their homeland does not get over the rape because their country is suffering on a large scale.

Of course not, because rape is rape and rape is terrible. But rape isn't what this is about.

I suspect Portugal has a different definition of rape to the UK.

At least I hope so, because the UK definition is stupid.

[edit] Not sure about the wording, but it's "Rape only happens if a penis is inserted into someone"

I suspect Portugal has a different definition of rape to the UK.

At least I hope so, because the UK definition is stupid.

[edit] Not sure about the wording, but it's "Rape only happens if a penis is inserted into someone"

(1) A person (A) commits an offence if—

(a) he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,

(b) B does not consent to the penetration, and

(c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

(2) Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.

(3) Sections 75 and 76 apply to an offence under this section.

(4) A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for life.

I'm pretty sure grabbing a crotch and saying something mysoginistic isn't rape both here and in the UK.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_English_law

EDIT: Sorry, i misread your post. I just proved your idea.

Oh my fucking god.

He was worse than any of the bosses on the Horrible Bosses movie.

Yes, I understand your post and I apologised before for being insensitive, as the man that was groped by kevin spacey could have been triggered by something that happened to him before or something

This bothers me. You're suggesting that being groped isn't enough and it has to be linked to a past trauma in order to be relevant.

It bothers me that people seem to be telling RuySan how victimised he should feel about his own experiences.

This is not the issue. It is his dismissal of ANYONE ELSE who has been victimised that is the problem. Surely you can see that?

I mean, maybe you should mention that then?

Can you now perhaps see that different things upset different people and you were wrong to dismiss people who have suffered trauma as needing to grow a spine?

"ANYONE ELSE????"

Seriously?

Anyone who has suffered trauma from unwanted sexual contact could very easily read your posts and decide you are very unsympathetic. Perhaps you should re-read them and see if you can see why that might be.

Turns out, anyone who has suffered trauma from being forced out of his job by his boss after twelve years could do exactly the same with yours.

I still think writing about it online shouldn't be the way to do it. You are still fixated on the idea that accusers never lie.

ALSO the timing bothers me. People writing online about stuff that happened more than 30 years ago bothers me. People can change for the best, or maybe i'm being overly optimistic.

I once groped a girls breast in high school. What a piece of shit I was. Never forgot about this. If this still bothers me, imagine how the girl must feel. Now imagine this girl wrote on facebook of what i did more than 20 years ago. And i would be shunned by my colleagues. If I was a public figure i would certainly lose my job. Would that be fair?

ALSO the timing bothers me. People writing online about stuff that happened more than 30 years ago bothers me. People can change for the best, or maybe i'm being overly optimistic.

I once groped a girls breast in high school. What a piece of shit I was. Never forgot about this. If this still bothers me, imagine how the girl must feel. Now imagine this girl wrote on facebook of what i did more than 20 years ago. And i would be shunned by my colleagues. If I was a public figure i would certainly lose my job. Would that be fair?

It bothers me that people seem to be telling RuySan how victimised he should feel about his own experiences.

I did similar things, probably a lot of us did. And yeah, it would be shit, but think about what effect it might have had on her over the last 20 years. Relationship/intimacy issues, anxiety/depression, etc. I'm not saying she does have any of those issues, but the potential is there.

It's natural to think about how it would affect us, but more important in my eyes is how it affects the victim/survivor of abuse.

It bothers me that people seem to be telling RuySan how victimised he should feel about his own experiences.

Maybe 4 or 5 years ago, I saw this women in a cafe, when I went to visit my parents (i'm from a small town). It was obvious she went through a breast reduction surgery, so those experiences obviously scarred her (not because of just me, but other boys also did grope her). For a small instance I thought i would go there and talk and apologise to her, but luckily i didn't. It would only serve clean myself from guilt but it would have the opposite effect on her, of reminding her of those experiences.

And no, i did not get into trouble at the time.