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Bits and Bobs 49
https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=11060		 Page 2 of 60
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Sep 05, 2017 22:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Lonewolves wrote:
zaphod79 wrote:
I will avoid using a urinal at all if there is another option

Is this because you like to pull your trousers and pants all the way down?

I think Craster knew an "over the topper".
Author:  DavPaz [ Tue Sep 05, 2017 23:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Grim... wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
zaphod79 wrote:
I will avoid using a urinal at all if there is another option

Is this because you like to pull your trousers and pants all the way down?

I think Craster knew an "over the topper".

Gonna need more
Author:  Grim... [ Tue Sep 05, 2017 23:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Willy out over the top of buttoned up and belted trousers.
Author:  Mr Dave [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 0:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Pundabaya wrote:
Recommend-me-do: decent acoustic guitar, £200ish is my limit.

For that price? Second hand.
Author:  Warhead [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 0:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
If you think YOU have toilet problems .... Woman trapped in window while trying to retrieve poo.
Author:  Warhead [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 0:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
A few years ago, when I was office based and working near the facilities management team, we a phenomenon in the 6th floor men's loo known as 'Tito.' Every day, in the first stall, there was always a large floater laid by someone at around 10am.

We spent some time observing who went in to try to determine who was the perpetrator and came to the conclusion that it was our Regional Director. Heaven only knows what his diet was like to produce such a log on a daily basis; the damn thing wouldn't break up without three or four additional flushes.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
'Tito' was the acronym we used to refer to the Turd In Trap One.
Author:  Cras [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 1:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Grim... wrote:
Willy out over the top of buttoned up and belted trousers.


Yup. Nothing can ever make me understand how someone thinks that's normal. Or what they think a fly is for.
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 6:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Grim... wrote:
Willy out over the top of buttoned up and belted trousers.

Giphy "impressive":
https://media3.giphy.com/media/S0dA7RYPaAIrC/giphy-loop.mp4
Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Grim... wrote:
Willy out over the top of buttoned up and belted trousers.

That's insane.
Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Warhead wrote:
A few years ago, when I was office based and working near the facilities management team, we a phenomenon in the 6th floor men's loo known as 'Tito.' Every day, in the first stall, there was always a large floater laid by someone at around 10am.

We spent some time observing who went in to try to determine who was the perpetrator and came to the conclusion that it was our Regional Director. Heaven only knows what his diet was like to produce such a log on a daily basis; the damn thing wouldn't break up without three or four additional flushes.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
'Tito' was the acronym we used to refer to the Turd In Trap One.

Disappointed the spoiler wasn't a photo.
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.
Author:  markg [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Piss on his flannel then.
Author:  Kern [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Give yourself a doctorate.
Author:  markg [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Yeah, do what Kern said.
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Kern wrote:
Give yourself a doctorate.

Instructions unclear. Have shit in upstairs cistern
Author:  Curiosity [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


Shit in his urinal.
Author:  devilman [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


If this were the plot of I.T., at this point you'd now start aggressively stalking his daughter. Um, hope that helps.
Author:  Grim... [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
If this was the plot of IT there would be blood all over his sink.
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:41 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
devilman wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


If this were the plot of I.T., at this point you'd now start aggressively stalking his daughter. Um, hope that helps.

No daughter! I'm safe!
Author:  Curiosity [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 13:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
devilman wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


If this were the plot of I.T., at this point you'd now start aggressively stalking his daughter. Um, hope that helps.


If this were the plot of The IT Crowd, at this point you'd now start accidentally breaking things and aggressively trying to cover it up. Um, hope that helps.
Author:  Squirt [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 13:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
If this were the plot of Moana, you'd now go on an adventure with The Rock and a idiot chicken to return a sacred stone to the Mother Goddess.


I am doing this right?
Author:  Grim... [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 13:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
You didn't even do the question right.
Author:  Squirt [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 14:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Dammit.
Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 15:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.

Put loads of naked photos of yourself on his PC and tell his wife.
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 16:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
He's asked me to go back at 4:50

Giphy "oh shit":
https://media1.giphy.com/media/l378A1ySad2YYYQQU/giphy-loop.mp4
Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 16:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
You left this thread open on his PC?
Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 16:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Hi VC!
Author:  devilman [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
DavPaz wrote:
He's asked me to go back at 4:50


Tell him you don't work nights.
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Fired
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
...off an email telling him I'd come back tomorrow.
Author:  Mimi [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
DavPaz wrote:
...off an email telling him I'd come back tomorrow.

You idiot. I caught this thread between those two posts and fektgenuinely shocked and upset.
Author:  DavPaz [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 18:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Mimi wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
...off an email telling him I'd come back tomorrow.

You idiot. I caught this thread between those two posts and fektgenuinely shocked and upset.

Sorry. But also.. that was my intention :) Not you personally, of course :hug:
Author:  Mimi [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 18:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
That's ok. I was just posting to say how awfully sorry I was when the notification to say another post had been made stopped it being posted, so it was only 30 or so seconds, but still!
Author:  Warhead [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 20:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Zardoz wrote:
Warhead wrote:
A few years ago, when I was office based and working near the facilities management team, we a phenomenon in the 6th floor men's loo known as 'Tito.' Every day, in the first stall, there was always a large floater laid by someone at around 10am.

We spent some time observing who went in to try to determine who was the perpetrator and came to the conclusion that it was our Regional Director. Heaven only knows what his diet was like to produce such a log on a daily basis; the damn thing wouldn't break up without three or four additional flushes.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
'Tito' was the acronym we used to refer to the Turd In Trap One.

Disappointed the spoiler wasn't a photo.


We didn't even have digital cameras at the time, or mobile phones, but it tended to be a bit like this
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
Image


Oddly enough, I found a semi-submerged really fat floater in one of the toilets in a store I was working in today. It DID flush, but very slowly, like the Nautilus embarking on a voyage into an underwater cavern. It looked like a big chunk of haematite.

Image
Author:  ApplePieOfDestiny [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 20:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
That's not a urinal.

Edit: wrong thread.
Author:  Warhead [ Wed Sep 06, 2017 20:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Nonsense, there's lots of shit in this thread.
Author:  MaliA [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Dr Zoidberg was right. Gang feud behind shootings and arson
Author:  MaliA [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Speaking to an art teacher at homebrew club last night and she told me how to make a jelly mould OF MY FACE. How amazing is that? Not as amazing as MaliCake from cottage, but it adds a dimension.
Author:  Kern [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:01 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
MaliA wrote:
Speaking to an art teacher at homebrew club last night and she told me how to make a jelly mould OF MY FACE. How amazing is that? Not as amazing as MaliCake from cottage, but it adds a dimension.


Goes well with these moulds.
Author:  Kern [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
MaliA wrote:
Dr Zoidberg was right. Gang feud behind shootings and arson


It's when they start dancing that you've got to really begin worrying.
Author:  Zardoz [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
MaliA wrote:
Speaking to an art teacher at homebrew club last night and she told me how to make a jelly mould OF MY FACE. How amazing is that? Not as amazing as MaliCake from cottage, but it adds a dimension.

Would be nice for my Simuloid.
Author:  Kern [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
The most fun article about Ryanair's baggage policy you'll read today:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... y-boarding
Author:  Cras [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
We had priority boarding coming back from Cyprus on Ryanair. What that actually meant was that you got to be first to leave the air-conditioned departure lounge and move to a small outdoor holding pen with no air-conditioning, before the plane had even landed.
Author:  Grim... [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 13:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Fuck Ryanair. Their chairs were piss-tiny, too.
Author:  Kern [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 13:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
They don't recline. This is a Good Thing.
Author:  Dr Zoidberg [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 13:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
MaliA wrote:
Dr Zoidberg was right. Gang feud behind shootings and arson


My finely trained police instincts at work there.
Author:  flis [ Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I'm terribly unprepared for the end of civilisation, I don't know about farming or combustion engines, or any other useful stuff. I could definitely build a pretty good shelter or maintain some ruins as my future home but purifying water or generating electricity - no idea.

I wonder if there's any part time courses I could go on. I might Google it all and keep some hard copies. I'll be mayor of the town in the new world with all my knowledge.
Author:  Kern [ Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I bought this t-shirt for that exact purpose.
Author:  MaliA [ Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Kern wrote:
I bought this t-shirt for that exact purpose.

Needs to be printed so can read in mirror
Author:  Kern [ Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: Bits and Bobs 49
flis wrote:
I wonder if there's any part time courses I could go on.


I'd be very wary of any 'survivalist' or 'prepper' courses taking place in isolated parts of the mid-western US.
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