Be Excellent To Each Other

No customer details as far as I can tell. Order numbers but no names or adddresses.

I phoned up. I never phone up because I always cave in and I’m useless on the phone. I avoid the phone at all costs, so I must have been annoyed.

Poor Haniff Z. did not seem to know what to make of Upset Mum. I said it was totally inappropriate, sent as a gift, opened to find those notes in a child’s gift, etc. He didn’t seem to quite grasp the problem. There was a slight difficulty in communication as his English wasn’t complete or phrased smoothly, and I think he was having trouble understanding the issue. He was very understanding of the fact I was unhappy and offered to refund me the book and asked if that solved it. I said no, not really, because that wasn’t really the issue, and I’m not quite sure how it happened but he then said he’d refund the other order that arrived earlier in the day, which wasn’t related to any of this at all. I’m not quite sure what he thought the problem was at this point, but unfortunately I think that the break in language was a bit of a barrier. He was nice enough, and I didn’t think I’d get any further to an understanding, so I just said fine. It’s not a small amount, with the other order just shy of £40, but it’s not really a monetary problem. But anyway, a bit cheerier and we have loads of Hey Duggee stickers to ruin the house with. Actually, we like sticking them on our faces and feet, mostly. No idea.

That's a good result I reckon and doubly good because we now know that Amazon sell Fleshlights.

And I'm sure Russ will like the boxer shorts.

Look at TheVision trying to pretend he didn't know that already, everyone!

XL. They’d be like the shorts boxers wear.

The clue is in the name.

Imagine the web adverts you'll see for about a week if you go and check this. Annoying enough when I looked at new boots.

Good work Mimi - enjoy your sticky stickers.

Oh! Boxer... shorts...

Haha, is that why they are called boxer shorts? Anyway, I meant the huge ones that start at the armpits.

They close the gap, right?

Sticky sticky stick stick(ers).

So that's why Russ always asks me to call him Herr Codd when we FaceTime.

Now it's triply odd as one of them is in Polish!

Mr Sheen?

Sorry, I'm not following what's happened properly -
Were the actual items delivered, or just a load of packing slips in the box with the book...?

The latter.

My mother has never seen the Maid Marion Pancake Day song and doesn’t know who Derrrn Brown is?

Is he like Derren Brown?

Does Derren get shortened to Dez rather than Daz?

Yes, but more arsey.

Potty mouth!

I do know the maid Marion pancake day song, and was repeatedly forced to get mostly naked by Derren Brown's Father.

Er, whut?

Gym teacher if I remember correctly

Sorry, I’m obviously not on the same page. Do you mean, Mr Dave, that Derren Brown’s Father, who was your old gym teacher, used to make you strip down nearly naked for some reason. Assuming you don’t mean to swimming trunks for a swimming lesson or similar, and rather in a way that was not necessary nor right, have you reported this to someone?

He was my swimming teacher. Requiring the use of speedos.

I have no complaints about him, he was a friendly, laid back man.

‘Repeatedly forced to get mostly-naked’ perhaps gives a more sinister sound to that. I’m relieved to hear that, because I was worried you’d been hurt or abused.

Now I understand why you only wear pants outside.

I've known Dave long enough to know that he likes to make comments along those lines out of context for a reaction. He's a very naughty boy.

I've just uploaded my first Gif to Giphy... I wonder how much it'll get used?

**edit** I've just seen the post above this one, by all means.... I'm not implying that Mr Dave is a cunt. This gif was made in relation to a friend of one of my friends who is indeed, a complete cunt. Not Mr Dave.

There was a PE teacher who liked to Trump the changing room showers "to make sure we had showered" which was... Interesting. But that's the worst it ever got there.

But yeah, it's like I always see three meanings to every sentence - the most literal one, the one that is what the other party actually meant, and often the peculiarly linked one which. Sometimes I reply to or use the literal one knowing full well that it won't be taken that way. And sometimes I use the third only be met by confused looks and no small amount of embarrassment and wanting to crawl into a small hole and die. Fun.

Don't ever change, Dave.

I like Dave

I’d like to be his PE teacher one day.

Don't forget your Dracula swimming costume.

I’ve got a bunch of .rar files (PDF’s in them rars I think) of old anime which I’d like to read but I can’t be arsed to do it on the computer. Is there anything I can do to get these things into my iPad so I can read them in bed or on the loo?

Yep. Get the Chunky comic reader app and it'll guide you through how to transfer them from your PC. Free or £3.99 for the Pro version.

Cool beans. I’ll give it a look.

Are you getting anime and manga confused?

Ooh, get you.

I was surprised to learn from some younger colleagues that they no longer shower after PE, even if they're covered in mud.

Some of your colleagues still do PE?

Check the format of them - a common way of handling early comics was the use of CBR or CBZ files

CBR are container files full of images that have been RAR compressed and renamed
CBZ are container files full of images that have been ZIP compressed and renamed

So if they are images you can just rename your .RAR file to CBR and open them in about any comic reader

Pie Eating

Chunky will sort this all out for you. No need to make it complicated for tech-challenged Ian.

T's true. He's about as technically competent as my grandmother.

My dead grandmother.

That's doing your grandmother a disservice.

I’ll be back later when invariably mess up my iPad.

There was an article on the Beeb website about this about a year ago......oh, it was 2015.

I’m a bit worried that I remember this.

Valentine's Day. Up there with April Fool's Day and Halloween on the pantheon of festivals I abhor.