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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:47 
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I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:53 
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Piss on his flannel then.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:56 
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Give yourself a doctorate.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:57 
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Yeah, do what Kern said.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:02 
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Unpossible!

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Kern wrote:
Give yourself a doctorate.

Instructions unclear. Have shit in upstairs cistern


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:25 
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Sleepyhead

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DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


Shit in his urinal.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:28 
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DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


If this were the plot of I.T., at this point you'd now start aggressively stalking his daughter. Um, hope that helps.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:33 
SupaMod
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If this was the plot of IT there would be blood all over his sink.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:41 
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devilman wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


If this were the plot of I.T., at this point you'd now start aggressively stalking his daughter. Um, hope that helps.

No daughter! I'm safe!


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 13:26 
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Sleepyhead

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devilman wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.


If this were the plot of I.T., at this point you'd now start aggressively stalking his daughter. Um, hope that helps.


If this were the plot of The IT Crowd, at this point you'd now start accidentally breaking things and aggressively trying to cover it up. Um, hope that helps.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 13:47 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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If this were the plot of Moana, you'd now go on an adventure with The Rock and a idiot chicken to return a sacred stone to the Mother Goddess.


I am doing this right?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 13:57 
SupaMod
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You didn't even do the question right.

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 14:00 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

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Dammit.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 15:24 
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Hibernating Druid

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DavPaz wrote:
I'm at the Vice Chancellor's house to fix his PC and he's just left. Leaving me alone in the house.

Fucker still can't remember my name though.

Put loads of naked photos of yourself on his PC and tell his wife.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 16:35 
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He's asked me to go back at 4:50

Giphy "oh shit":
https://media1.giphy.com/media/l378A1ySad2YYYQQU/giphy-loop.mp4


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 16:46 
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Hibernating Druid

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You left this thread open on his PC?

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 16:46 
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Hibernating Druid

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Hi VC!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:28 
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DavPaz wrote:
He's asked me to go back at 4:50


Tell him you don't work nights.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:42 
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Unpossible!

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Fired


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:47 
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...off an email telling him I'd come back tomorrow.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 17:48 
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DavPaz wrote:
...off an email telling him I'd come back tomorrow.

You idiot. I caught this thread between those two posts and fektgenuinely shocked and upset.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 18:09 
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Mimi wrote:
DavPaz wrote:
...off an email telling him I'd come back tomorrow.

You idiot. I caught this thread between those two posts and fektgenuinely shocked and upset.

Sorry. But also.. that was my intention :) Not you personally, of course :hug:


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 18:27 
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That's ok. I was just posting to say how awfully sorry I was when the notification to say another post had been made stopped it being posted, so it was only 30 or so seconds, but still!

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 20:40 
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Zardoz wrote:
Warhead wrote:
A few years ago, when I was office based and working near the facilities management team, we a phenomenon in the 6th floor men's loo known as 'Tito.' Every day, in the first stall, there was always a large floater laid by someone at around 10am.

We spent some time observing who went in to try to determine who was the perpetrator and came to the conclusion that it was our Regional Director. Heaven only knows what his diet was like to produce such a log on a daily basis; the damn thing wouldn't break up without three or four additional flushes.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
'Tito' was the acronym we used to refer to the Turd In Trap One.

Disappointed the spoiler wasn't a photo.


We didn't even have digital cameras at the time, or mobile phones, but it tended to be a bit like this
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
Image


Oddly enough, I found a semi-submerged really fat floater in one of the toilets in a store I was working in today. It DID flush, but very slowly, like the Nautilus embarking on a voyage into an underwater cavern. It looked like a big chunk of haematite.

Image


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 20:45 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

Joined: 17th Dec, 2008
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That's not a urinal.

Edit: wrong thread.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 20:49 
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Nonsense, there's lots of shit in this thread.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:47 
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Gogmagog

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Dr Zoidberg was right. Gang feud behind shootings and arson

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Last edited by Grim... on Thu Sep 07, 2017 13:06, edited 1 time in total.
Fixed the url


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:59 
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Gogmagog

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Speaking to an art teacher at homebrew club last night and she told me how to make a jelly mould OF MY FACE. How amazing is that? Not as amazing as MaliCake from cottage, but it adds a dimension.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:01 
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MaliA wrote:
Speaking to an art teacher at homebrew club last night and she told me how to make a jelly mould OF MY FACE. How amazing is that? Not as amazing as MaliCake from cottage, but it adds a dimension.


Goes well with these moulds.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:05 
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MaliA wrote:
Dr Zoidberg was right. Gang feud behind shootings and arson


It's when they start dancing that you've got to really begin worrying.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:40 
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MaliA wrote:
Speaking to an art teacher at homebrew club last night and she told me how to make a jelly mould OF MY FACE. How amazing is that? Not as amazing as MaliCake from cottage, but it adds a dimension.

Would be nice for my Simuloid.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:51 
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The most fun article about Ryanair's baggage policy you'll read today:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... y-boarding


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:03 
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We had priority boarding coming back from Cyprus on Ryanair. What that actually meant was that you got to be first to leave the air-conditioned departure lounge and move to a small outdoor holding pen with no air-conditioning, before the plane had even landed.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 13:06 
SupaMod
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Fuck Ryanair. Their chairs were piss-tiny, too.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 13:10 
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They don't recline. This is a Good Thing.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 13:54 
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MaliA wrote:
Dr Zoidberg was right. Gang feud behind shootings and arson


My finely trained police instincts at work there.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:23 
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Excellent Member

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I'm terribly unprepared for the end of civilisation, I don't know about farming or combustion engines, or any other useful stuff. I could definitely build a pretty good shelter or maintain some ruins as my future home but purifying water or generating electricity - no idea.

I wonder if there's any part time courses I could go on. I might Google it all and keep some hard copies. I'll be mayor of the town in the new world with all my knowledge.

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:26 
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I bought this t-shirt for that exact purpose.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:31 
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Gogmagog

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Kern wrote:
I bought this t-shirt for that exact purpose.

Needs to be printed so can read in mirror

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:33 
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flis wrote:
I wonder if there's any part time courses I could go on.


I'd be very wary of any 'survivalist' or 'prepper' courses taking place in isolated parts of the mid-western US.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:35 
SupaMod
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MaliA wrote:
Kern wrote:
I bought this t-shirt for that exact purpose.

Needs to be printed so can read in mirror

Just wear it inside out.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 17:51 
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We had a lady come around to put our house on the market this morning. We've already got five viewings lined up (just done the first one, got three more tonight).

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 19:10 
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"Praisebot"

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Goddess Jasmine wrote:
We had a lady come around to put our house on the market this morning. We've already got five viewings lined up (just done the first one, got three more tonight).


Have they all come to have a gander at Joan's dodgy wiring?


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 19:17 
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Decapodian

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Image


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 21:28 
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UltraMod

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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Location: California
This is interesting.

http://confidence.success-equation.com

Calibration score
Mean confidence: 69.80%

Actual percent correct: 58.00%

You want your mean confidence and actual score to be as close as possible.

Mean confidence on correct answers: 71.72%

Mean confidence on incorrect answers: 67.14%

You want your mean confidence to be low for incorrect answers and high for correct answers.

Quiz score
29 correct out of 50 questions answered (58.00%)

14 correct out of 25 questions answered with low (50 or 60%) confidence (56.00%)

6 correct out of 13 questions answered with medium (70% or 80%) confidence (46.15%)

9 correct out of 12 questions answered with high (90 or 100%) confidence (75.00%)

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I am currently under construction.
Thank you for your patience.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 21:59 
Awesome
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Yes

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Posts: 12240
Still laughing at Robin Mahfood :D

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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 22:13 
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Board Mother

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TheVision wrote:
Goddess Jasmine wrote:
We had a lady come around to put our house on the market this morning. We've already got five viewings lined up (just done the first one, got three more tonight).


Have they all come to have a gander at Joan's dodgy wiring?

It's the key selling point.

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GJ is right.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 21:42 
SupaMod
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Man, last night at the proms looks fun. I want to take an airhorn.

God damn Mrs Grim...'s dad for selling his box at the Royal Albert hall.

:hat: obv

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 21:45 
SupaMod
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Christ, the girls singing Danny Boy look like they're off to the beauty pageant when they've finished being in the choir.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Bits and Bobs 49
PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 23:39 
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Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Lonewolves wrote:
This is interesting.

http://confidence.success-equation.com

Calibration score
Mean confidence: 69.80%

Actual percent correct: 58.00%

You want your mean confidence and actual score to be as close as possible.

Mean confidence on correct answers: 71.72%

Mean confidence on incorrect answers: 67.14%

You want your mean confidence to be low for incorrect answers and high for correct answers.

Quiz score
29 correct out of 50 questions answered (58.00%)

14 correct out of 25 questions answered with low (50 or 60%) confidence (56.00%)

6 correct out of 13 questions answered with medium (70% or 80%) confidence (46.15%)

9 correct out of 12 questions answered with high (90 or 100%) confidence (75.00%)
Mean confidence: 78.60%

Actual percent correct: 70.00%

You want your mean confidence and actual score to be as close as possible.

Mean confidence on correct answers: 80.29%

Mean confidence on incorrect answers: 74.67%

You want your mean confidence to be low for incorrect answers and high for correct answers.

Quiz score
35 correct out of 50 questions answered (70.00%)

7 correct out of 10 questions answered with low (50 or 60%) confidence (70.00%)

10 correct out of 19 questions answered with medium (70% or 80%) confidence (52.63%)

18 correct out of 21 questions answered with high (90 or 100%) confidence (85.71%)

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