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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 8:52 
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Joans wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Have you watched Chef? Watch Chef.

The movie, not the Lenny Henry thing. Although that might have been good, can't remember.

Craster, Gaywood and I would like to run a food van, but there are space issues.

For us.

Inside a van.

Make Mr Dave an honorary Yes! Chef.

Only if you want awesome desserts. And more space.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 22:49 
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I really, really want a pulled pork on dirty white bread sandwich right now.

Most frustrating about this is that while we actually do have dirty white bread for the first time in months (because we decided that the every-Thursday mobile chippy deserved some love last night but fuck their overpriced bread), all the pulled pork (of which there is quite a lot) is well and truly frozen.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 22:53 
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At lunch today multiple other people told me I should give up software to park a smokehouse van outside the building.

I'm considering asking the company to change my job title to Senior Meat Engineer; I'd still do the stuff I do now but, unlike Senior Software Engineer, I could actually perform my job title at the same time.

They would be getting MORE value for their money.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 15:53 
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Excellent Painter

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I was given a copy of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat for my birthday. I've only just dipped into but so far it looks like it's going to be an interesting read and if it delivers like I think it will, I suspect that a few of the foodies on here will also like and learn stuff from it. It was recommended to me by HC's cousin who is an engineer, so I'm trusting that the science parts of it are legit.

I was also given a Hocho Santoku knife, which I have to say is pretty awesome. Obviously, it's beautifully balanced and very sharp. I'll keep you posted on how it pans out with regular use and how easy it is to maintain the edge. I'm lead to believe that it should only really need sharpening very infrequently. I'm mildly anal about keeping my knives sharp and have a plethora of devices for maintaining their edges, such as a Lansky's kit, various diamond blocks, and a belt sander!

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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 16:48 
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I suggested that book to the other Yes, Chef!s and they scoffed at it.

See, Chefs?

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 17:19 
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I scoffed indeed. Not at the content, I'm sure it's great, but at the wording of the description that suggests she discovered some incredible set of secrets, rather than just writing a book about the stuff that other chefs knew anyway because McGee had written it all down when she was 5 years old.

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 17:24 
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EvilTrousers

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DBSnappa wrote:
I was given a copy of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat for my birthday.


I got Cheese, Bacon, More Cheese, More Bacon for Christmas.

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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 17:43 
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Hey Yes, Chefs!
Teach me how to cook a hunk of meat (say, brisket) on a bbq. What do I need over and above meat + fire?


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 17:43 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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Booze and attitude.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 17:49 
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I have booze


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 17:49 
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A monogramed apron.

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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 17:56 
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Joans wrote:
Hey Yes, Chefs!
Teach me how to cook a hunk of meat (say, brisket) on a bbq. What do I need over and above meat + fire?


A pan of water, some rub for the meat, and a couple of thermometers - one for the meat, one for the temp of the BBQ.

You'll want your coals all over one side, and the meat on the other. Water pan above the fire, and check it every hour or so to make sure it doesn't run dry. You'll want the BBQ itself to be between 225 and 275F (so much bbq stuff is American, thinking in F is easier).

Give the meat a good plentiful rub with dry spices. You can go as simple as just salt and ground black pepper, or scale up to whatever you like. I like paprika, cumin, and garlic powder myself. Get it on the fire, and wait. Drink while you wait. You're aiming for the middle of the meat to hit something like 200-205F.

Take the meat off and wrap it up in towels to rest for an hour if you have the time.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 17:56 
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How big a piece are we talking about?

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:00 
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You don’t need a lot of specialist kit, but you do need time and care.

Don’t start with brisket. It’s a pain to cook, it’s lean and dries out very easily and takes a really long time. Pork ribs or pork shoulder are a more gentle introduction.

And get good charcoal. The Yes, Chef!s recommend Heat Beads.

Read this: https://amazingribs.com/tested-recipes/ ... ork-recipe
And this: https://amazingribs.com/more-technique- ... e-indirect


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:03 
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I'd agree with doc on brisket, especially as in the UK unless you can find a butcher that will specifically sell you a packet cut brisket, what you'll get here will always just be the flat part, which is an even bigger dick for smoking.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:18 
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Lonewolves wrote:
A monogramed apron.

I have a Simpsons one.
And a hat.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:21 
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Cras wrote:
How big a piece are we talking about?


For first go? Tiny, about 1.5kg.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:22 
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Cras wrote:
I'd agree with doc on brisket, especially as in the UK unless you can find a butcher that will specifically sell you a packet cut brisket, what you'll get here will always just be the flat part, which is an even bigger dick for smoking.


I most likely have the dick smoking stuff. I will try and blind my local butcher with meat science and see what he can sell me.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:25 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
You don’t need a lot of specialist kit, but you do need time and care.


Fuck

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

Don’t start with brisket. It’s a pain to cook, it’s lean and dries out very easily and takes a really long time. Pork ribs or pork shoulder are a more gentle introduction.

And get good charcoal. The Yes, Chef!s recommend Heat Beads.

Read this: https://amazingribs.com/tested-recipes/ ... ork-recipe
And this: https://amazingribs.com/more-technique- ... e-indirect


I've got Pork Loin, which I normally slow cook, but then I read that link and now I feel like a bad person.

Also, I realise I punctuated Yes, Chef!s incorrectly.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:50 
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I don't think anyone's mentioned how much time you'll need.

Brisket will take about 12 hours, and then you need to let it rest for around 1.

The one we did for MeatUp last year took about 53 hours, but we did that differently ;)

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:51 
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Everybodys gilf

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Yeah, loin is a bad choice. You want fat, and you want connective tissue.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 18:52 
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Also if you're doing a pork shoulder, it'll take four hours longer than you think it will. Always.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 19:04 
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Grim... wrote:
I don't think anyone's mentioned how much time you'll need.

Brisket will take about 12 hours, and then you need to let it rest for around 1.

The one we did for MeatUp last year took about 53 hours, but we did that differently ;)


I figured it was an early start, although possibly not that early.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 19:11 
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Grim... wrote:

Brisket will take about 12 hours, and then you need to let it rest for around 1.

Depends how big it is. A full packer brisket (not that Joans has that) is 18-22 hours...

But this touches on something else: you’re not cooking to time, you’re cooking to internal temperature. The actual cooking time will be plus or minus some, depending on how warm you run the BBQ, how successfully you hold the BBQ temp in the ideal range, the weather, how often you open it, the mysteries of that specific piece of meat, etc etc. And when I say “some” I mean “maybe as much as two or three hours.”


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 19:14 
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Yes Chef!s are wrong, Oxford Charcoal Company is the best fuel.

A man is coming to my house in Wednesday to redraw my garage to include a large offset smoker.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 19:21 
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Oh, there’s better fuel if you’re prepared to go deep into the weeds, I concede. I hear good things about the London Log Company. But they’re mostly for pro catering and have scary minimum order amounts and stuff. Whereas Heat Beads are on Amazon.

(They’re also very good. Have you used them?)


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 19:44 
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So he needs a meat thermometer first right?

Edit: yes.

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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 19:55 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
(They’re also very good. Have you used them?)
No, because I have already settled on my preferred hipster charcoal. It works for me and Phil the DPD driver knows where I live and which place to put stuff.

Also: 50 quid order gets free delivery. That's 4 7.5kg bags.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 20:07 
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Goddess Jasmine wrote:
So he needs a meat thermometer first right?

One of these is good:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/AMIR-Thermomet ... 00SKC24D6/

And something like this is a massive help:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Morpilot-Wirel ... 077TF4TGH/

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Food & cooking
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 20:08 
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BikNorton wrote:
Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
(They’re also very good. Have you used them?)
No, because I have already settled on my preferred hipster charcoal. It works for me and Phil the DPD driver knows where I live and which place to put stuff.

Also: 50 quid order gets free delivery. That's 4 7.5kg bags.

Hmm, that's cheaper than heat beads. I may give them a shot.

Although Heat Beads are fucking voodoo, and stay hot forever.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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