Your fantasies are getting out of hand. Russell has spoiled you

Clearly, they can

I find the most important thing in a poached egg is how fresh it is.

Buy a chicken.

I worked for a long time to get good at poached eggs. Happy to share my method if you're interested.

Oh and, regarding the original question..ketchup in the cupboard.. so full of Enumbers it can stay well for a while....

So Talk About Eggs

Bay-bee.

Yes please! Unlike you, I am too lazy to Google. My mum keeps telling me boil the water and stir but I've done that and it makes no difference.

My brother shared a house with a bacteriologist.

He said she'd make a lasagne, or a pasta bake with chicken or similar student fayre, leave it on the side overnight after eating a portion, then heat the whole thing up in the dish the next day, remove and eat another portion, then do this for six days in a row. Each time re-heating the entirety of what was left.

She offered him something to eat once. He declined.

He said she was the filfthiest person he'd ever met (not a sex thjng).

On the 'Hidden Killers' show I watched the other day, the sciency bit involved the presenter fingering chicken before dipping her hands in the petri dishes to demonstrate the importance of washing your hands.

And this is why you never, ever rinse raw chicken, people.

And this is why you never, ever rinse raw chicken, people.

Stirring is shit unless you're only cooking one egg and who wants to cook eggs one at a bloody time? Life's too short.

What I do:

1) Start with fresh eggs at room temperature. I take them out of the fridge a bit before using.
2) Get a large pan with a lid (I use a deep frying pan about 9" across) and fill with water to a couple of inches. Bring to the boil. Add a good pinch of salt and a tablespoon or so of vinegar (plain or white wine if you have it, malt if you don't.)
3) Crack the eggs into small mugs or bowls or ramekins. You can put two eggs into a mug; I use espresso cups and put one egg in each.
4) When the water is boiling, turn the heat off and wait for the water to just stop boiling.
5) Pour the eggs into the water from just above the surface -- the lip of the mug should be touching the water as you pour. The idea is to let them slide in as gently as possible. This is why I don't crack them straight into the water.
6) Put the lid on. Leave the heat off. Time four minutes.
7) Scoop the eggs out with a slotted spoon or (preferably) mesh skimmer. Maybe pat dry with some paper towel, although I usually just give them a shake.

The idea behind not having boiling water is that it lets the egg set into a decent shape because it's not getting bounced around. The timing can vary a bit, depending on temperature and size of the eggs. So adjust if they are still underdone or overdone. The vinegar helps gets the whites setting as you pour them in, stopping them from spreading out too far.

I find this gives decent results without being an enormous faff:



Although you can certainly make it more complicated if you like: http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/10/the- ... party.html

Christ

I can't stand it when people put vinegar into the water as well; had eggs benedict round some friends of ours the other weekend and for me, this tainted/ruined the whole breakfast.

Eggs Benedict is one of my favourite breakfasts.

Eggs Benedict is one of my favourite breakfasts.

God yes. They do one round here with soft shell crabs on the muffins and jalapeño hollandaise. It's fucking incredible. I may have it tomorrow.

but I poached Russell eggs

???

Stop the internet, I need to get off.

Hope this helps.

So flaccid I've actually created a new state of matter.

Mmmm... food porn.