Be Excellent To Each Other

How embarrassing... a house full of condiments and no food.

Best Before dates are an indication of quality, not of safety, and as such it's fine to eat food after the best before date, as long as you're prepared to accept that the item might not be at peak deliciousnesss.

Use By dates are intended to relate to food safety, but even then you can often cheerfully ignore them for a few days. (Especially if you keep your fridge super nice and cold.)

Display Until and Sell By are for retailers and shop staff, although I'm sure they're happy to leave it as somewhat ambiguous so people will mistake them for some sort of food safety information.

I trust my senses, I ate a couple of fromage frais the other week that were 12 days past their use by date. I sniffed them, they were fine, I ate them, they were fine.

I used to work with someone who once had a mouldy yoghurt. She scraped the layer of mould off the top and then ate it.

She was fine.

Yoghurt is just mould anyway.

Y'all fridge types need to work on your constitutions.

Where were you when we had the vote? Salad Creme on chips is the best thing.

Yuk, dude. Just yuk.
I'm not eating at *your* house.

Rectified.

#saladcream4life

When I were a lad, we used to have salad creme in place of mayo. So tuna mayo became tuna and salad creme, egg mayo became egg and salad creme and so on. I don't think I even tasted mayo until I was in my teens. It was horribly bland

Which is the best way to make Tuna Mayo. Although the name is clearly wrong.

Mayo and salad cream are just horrid.

They taste of rancid fat.

Tomato ketchup tastes of nothing in nature.

You are all wrong.

Refrigeration and eating prior to best before date helps here.
(Although, salad cream is beyond all help; it's a nasty throwback to the '70s IMO and belongs in the same dustbin of history as 'Instant Whip' and 'Angel Delight' etc.)



Ditto.
Also, not true if you get decent stuff that's been made with good ingredients, produced in small amounts and is in a glass bottle. Try Stokes.

http://www.stokessauces.co.uk/product/k ... to-ketchup

Tuna + mayo + balsamic is better, if what you're craving is a bit of vinegary bite.

I like Stokes (the brown sauce is particularly good), but "produced in small amounts" is nonsense given that you can buy it in supermarkets across the UK.

Also I refuse to believe you can taste the difference between glass and plastic bottles and I think we should administer a blind taste test at the cottage.

See also beer

You're on!
Loser faces Cavey's Poker Shot Glass of Doom. Deal, Doc?

Obviously hollandaise is the superior emulsion of champions, that's a given.

My reflux precludes such shenaigans, I am afraid. This may have to be for bragging points only.

Bearnaise stands shoulder to shoulder with it for me.

No probs mate. You're on.

I think it's the base product. I wouldn't let it be kept out of the fridge and of course it's in date, but on the couple of times I've tasted it, it's horrible.

Tomato ketchup tastes like Tomato + Vinegar + Sugar. I dislike it, personally but it's far from unnatural.

Brown sauce is better. Don't care which brand, tbh. Even cheapo supermarket value is fine. I'm a cheap date.

Typical Heinz mayo ingredients.

WATER, CORN SYRUP, SOYBEAN OIL, DISTILLED WHITE VINEGAR, MODIFIED CORN STARCH*, EGG YOLKS, ENZYME MODIFIED EGG YOLK*, SALT, POTASSIUM SORBATE AND SODIUM BENZOATE (AS PRESERVATIVES)*, ONION POWDER, MUSTARD FLOUR, CALCIUM DISODIUM EDTA (ADDED TO PROTECT FLAVOR), NATURAL FLAVOR.

Notice the distilled white vinegar and sodium benzoate?

Seriously chap I'd have thought that some one with your (what's the nice way of saying age?) erm, "prestige" would have spoken to his parents/grand parents and realised that for most of their lives they did not even have a fridge. Just a larder. What's the difference between a cupboard in a kitchen away from the heat and a cupboard on the wall away from the heat? not a lot really.

Trust me I have plenty of food phobias but I've not put my mayo or ketchup in the fridge for many years and I've never once gotten sick from it. It's like Hearthly says, you are equipped with a nose. A good sniff says it all. Works on the washing too.

I want some Angel Delight now.

If only there was a worthy second you could nominate.

@JC

Well, I'm not a food expert but just because a particular foodstuff has *some* food preservative in it, doesn't mean to say it is entirely adequate to preserve said food at room temperature (contrary to explicit instructions to keep refrigerated), for very long periods. (Besides, vinegar...? Seriously mate, unless you're pickling, i.e. immersing food in the stuff, that doesn't even remotely count).

As for people in the '30s not having fridges etc., well, they weren't eating and storing bottled mayo either. Trust me.

Personally I think there is nothing more minging than being handed a bottle of mayo of whatever with a claggy, encusted rim, and I don't want to be relying on my nose as to whether or not the food I am about to eat is rancid or not! Each to his/her own, but FFS, if it says "must be refrigerated once opened", why would you not? It just seems positively ridiculous (and wilfully perverse) not to.

It's not 1930, it's 2016, and cupboards are for tins, spices, bottles of oil and dried foods, fridges (and freezers) are for perishables. The end.

/dark clouds gather

Well, that's that then.

I aims to be of service.
Next?

How do you feel about wheelie bins?

Cavey has potatoes in his fridge.

Wheelie bins are awesome.
Potatoes though? Not so much. Unless they're chips.

In the fridge as it fits...

Salad creme on chips too

You people disgust me.

I have it in my mind that I dislike salad cream, mainly because I haven't eaten it since I was a kid.

I'm almost entirely certain I would actually like it, but my mind is telling me otherwise and I can't be arsed to try it.

It tastes of sunshine.

FTFY

You should try it. I hear they've got a tasting desk at your local post office... Perhaps you could pop in there tomorrow?

LOL

People who say they don't like Tomato sauce should pay attention to my earlier post and try Tiptree Tomato sauce. It's legit. All the other ones are worse.

Tiptree Brown sauce is pretty good too, but their Tomato sauce is the main one you need to try.

Tiptree's nice but a little too sweet IMO.

Aye, it is pretty sweet, but I think it works.

Stokes Chipotle Ketchup is quite nice, though it sometimes seems to be far more chipotle than at other times. Maybe I should have given it more of a shake or stir or something.

...Or indeed, kept it in the fridge as per manufacturer's instructions.





/fetches coat, leaves thread

FTFFY

Levi Root's Reggae Reggae ketchup was bang on too. Sadly the place I used to get it from stopped doing it, not seen it since.

I think you'll find that I was most vehement in my agreement at fridge-based condiments!

I knew you would be Curio, that was kinda the parting shot joke.
I can read people; a man as aghast as you were at my merely swigging Red Bull from a can is never going to tolerate whiffy, claggy, pseudo booger-laden unrefrigerated condiments past their sell-by date and teeming with bacteria for (ahem) 'bragging rights'.

Still, if you have to explain a joke, huh.

I once ate an entire raw full english for a bet.