Be Excellent To Each Other

JC - I also have depression, though thankfully it isn't persistent and I can function fairly well, apart from times when I just have to curl up and ignore the world and live in my head. I'm lucky, in that respect.

I don't think that 52% of those who voted are really people who are struggling to get through life, and who are self-harming with their vote. That really isn't why most people voted how they did.

It's a complex matter. Some voted for personal gain, some because they believe in sovereignty, some for nostalgic reasons, some because they are racists, some because they believe all the shit in the papers, some because they believe it will genuinely improve society.

Liverpool has a fair share of problems, but voted to Remain. The area I grew up in was relatively nice and prosperous, and voted massively to Leave. Your own reasoning isn't applicable to the rest, and a lot of people voted based on believing lies, or just wanting the bloody forrins to fuck off.

Jesus H Christ JC.

I HAVE BEEN ON SUICIDE WATCH! Yes, fucking suicide watch when j was homeless and not holding my shit together in a women's fucking refuge. I had no one and nothing. I had seven pence. SEVEN FRICKING NOT SO GREAT BRITISH PENNIES. For fucks sake, you are not the only person who understands! Many people here fucking well understand depression.

Please, for the love of everyone here, we almost all sympathise or empathise with you. It's shit. I've got two amazing reasons to be well and alive and happy. But not so long ago I had no-one. Then I had Goddess Jasmine to give me a cuddle, and that baldy twat Jones, then more people, actually all from here. But that doesn't mean that I don't understand. Other people here understand. Other people with hard times, mental illness, bad, fucking awful situations.

Yes, you have a shit time. I really feel for you. Most people here do, but you could also feel for them. And you do that by not allowing their world to go to shit. You may not feel like we are all in it together (to coin a frankly awful and abused phrase) but many of us need to keep working and voting and believing that we will be, in order to be good people and to try to help US ALL without trying to sink the ship that we are all on because we are pissed off with the world.

I'm mostly annoyed the Human Mimi-pede gag didn't get the recognition it deserved. RAGEQUIT

You still haven't explained where I "deeply insulted you"; how I don't give a shit about your feelings or whatever, and there you go, throwing stones in my direction just because you're generally pissed off with your lot or whatever? Seriously, not interested pal. You think you're the ONLY one who has ever had shit to deal with; only you have ever had it rough. Me me me me. I had to vote Brexit to cut-my-nose-to-spite-my-face; you don't like it when others call you out on that for the petulent BS that is.

You're not doing too bad it seems to me - you have your own flat paid for, a newish car, a whole bunch of state-of-the-art PCs, consoles, valve amplifiers or whatever, NONE of which I had until I was 30, even though I've worked since I was 16. Plenty of people have had it worse than you, including me, and I suspect many others on this forum as well. (And FYI, the only time I ever mention the bike is in the motorbike thread, and rarely mention the car at all, even in the car thread. Perhaps I should kick off about you repeatedly posting pictures of your LED-laden custom PCs in the PC thread?)

"Impossible to understand".... lol.

I'm mostly annoyed that your gag wasn't better. RAGEQUIT.

JC, I understand and empathise with your anguish, but you are making things worse rather than better now. Take a break from the keyboard and chill out for a bit.

Wow, you actually decided to edit your post for a change. Was just about to call you a terrible homophobe.

Homophobe?

On the upsite, your seven pence was worth much more then that it is now.

I think he means homophone.

Sounded like it.

https://www.facebook.com/Channel4News/v ... 069876939/

Well, Nik has me on mute

Ferking hell.

Fecking little chav twats probably haven't worked a fecking day in their lives, and never will do. Pricks.

Do you not remember what 'gag' said previously?

Sorry! This thread moved kind of fast..

Tag, but I'm guessing you or I misread it and you think 'fag'?

Oh dear!

Oh dear indeed.

You could try watching cancer kill your mother, inch by inch, over a year or so. That gives you an inkling, I can assure you.

That's a bit classist of you. Shame.

Problem is that pretty much every one on here agreed "Yes". As such it was OK to call people selfish pricks. Or stupid. And yeah, I have read it thanks.

Just FYI (and again I am wasting my time because until you've been me you will never understand) let me cover the car etc.

The car is not mine it belongs to Mrs JC and because the DVLA refused me a license on the grounds of my manic spells (and I agreed, it was another liberty taken from me because I am sick) and has been left in her will to her younger daughter Ruby, who can drive.

The rest? I never leave my house. When I absolutely have to I can not go out alone because I get confused and panic. Getting on the wrong train, the wrong bus, etc. It's happened to be several times and it's like a day in hell. So basically this money I am being given is meaningless. It has not improved my life, it's money ! something I despise. So I waste it all on things that make me feel happy for about ten seconds. However, even my manic retail sprees are not making me happy any more. Not even for a few minutes. The other day I spent my entire month's allowance in about five minutes and then felt fucking awful for doing so.

Try and imagine looking around at everything you had achieved in your life and all of your belongings and feeling like they are completely meaningless. Imagine thinking about the past and cringing because you fucked it all up so badly. Imagine hating yourself above and beyond everything else.

I get up at around 9am. I make a tea (because like driving I've also realised I can no longer enjoy coffee because it's detrimental to my mental health) and I rush into the living room. Why the rush? because basically my last dose of pills at midnight are now wearing off and I'm already starting to feel the effects of not being heavily medicated.

I then take a large dose of anti psychotics, anti depressants as well as anxiety medication, Statins to try and combat the side effects of the pre-mentioned pills (I'm a fat pre diabetic cunt basically) and then after washing down this dose of pills with my cup of tea I put on my headphones and lean my elbows onto the desk staring into space.

Within about an hour I start to feel better. Like I'm stoned out of my fucking brains but without the paranoia and headaches the next day. By about 11am I start to become incredibly anxious again. I take the second dose at around 12 mid day. Another dose of anti psychotics and anti depressants/anxiety meds.

Then I take another dose and sometimes I actually become involved in a conversation/forum thread. Come three o'clock it's time for another large dose. Not quite as heavy as the morning but still pretty huge. By 4pm I've started to have enough of the day and try and sleep. Only one of the pills I take for anxiety causes palpitations and worst of all, night terrors. So even if I do sleep in the afternoon I end up waking myself up screaming.

6-7 is the worst. By that time I really have had enough. It's usually about that time that I look into ways of escaping the trap I feel I am in.

12am a massive dose of anti psychotics (though less massive than before, because they too give me palpitations if I take too much at once, (have been to A&E three times suffering pseudo heart attacks) hence this ridiculous regime all day) and a Zopiclone (synthetic diazepam? something like that) and then finally about 30 mins later the torture stops and I nod off to sleep.

Repeat until I either die of natural causes or decide to end it myself. That's my life, that's how it is.

I don't want your pity and I don't want your empathy. That's the fucking last thing I want. When my dad died people were saying how sorry they were and it just made me feel worse.

I want to be understood. Even if my brain is fucked and I'm a legalised junkie I have a voice.

You won't understand it dude. If you're straight up and really did come from nothing then you would be about as different to me as it's possible to be. You'd have been positive, you'd have been driven. You'd appreciate what you have, you'd be shrewd and you would be sensible.

If even having the wife of my dreams (who understands every subtle nuance of how I feel in my head, even the really disgusting black shit*) doesn't give me a reason to live then what could? that's where I am at now. That's how it is now. You've watched me yourself over the years. Spunking my time down the drain at the detriment of my actual life with FME. Spunking my hard work giving to others for absolutely fuck all in return apart from being insulted and fucked about every way possible. Arguing with people on the internet. Making a cunt out of myself because I was in a manic state and had no filter and no limit. Shit, even coming onto a forum today and saying more than I should.

I am incredibly angry and the government. Some of the things they have done have been disgusting. They offer me no way of changing anything (see how we didn't get to vote if our PIP should be cut or stopped?) apart from a chance to put some cunt out of a job.

And you don't understand why.

Oh yeah *.

I really can't go into some of the things that go on in my head on here. I just can't. It would be utterly shocking.

There is only one person I can open up to about that and that's Mrs JC. But, just to give you a rough example of some of the milder thoughts imagine sitting in a room with three people who love you more than anything. Your mother, your uncle who has been a father to you and your aunt who has also been a second mother. Imagine sitting there and all of a sudden having this rage sweep over you and wanting to stove their heads in with a brick. Then imagine how disgusted with yourself you would feel because that shit just went through your head for absolutely no reason. I mean, after all as I said these are the three heroes in your life who you love and adore more than any one.

You'll just never ever understand it. And I don't want you to. I would never want you to have to feel what I feel. These politicians though? heh, I'd like to give them some of it. Kinda like in The Crow where he grabs that guy who killed his wife and makes him feel the pain she felt as she laid dying.

What I want is to be accepted. I want to be able to warn people that I may say something bad to them or something nasty. I have very little control over that as you have seen me exhibit many times over the years.

Oh, and for people maybe not to understand why I would have voted out but to at least accept it.

Is "chav" a class now?

I've just been told this very afternoon that my brother, whom I love dearly, has a shadow on his lung - he's mid 40s with young children.
Still, I guess that's nothing eh.

Bloody hell - hope it in fact is nothing, or if it isn't then it's treatable.

If you didn't think the outcome would help you anyway, and if you are as understanding of others as you say, should you not have voted Remain to help other people? You've acknowledged that in your view the country as a whole is worse off now.

So do I mate, I had to make out it was nothing etc. with him, then cried afterwards.

What has that wall of text got to do with voting Leave?

176:44 against Corbyn in the no confidence vote. Roy Hodgson feeling a bit less embarrassed.

Did Hodgson come out against corbyn?

I was told statins work best when taken in the evening / before bed, JC.

Deliberate obtuseness is not becoming of you.

Those little pricks do need a good kicking though.

Awful to hear that, Cavey. It can be other stuff though (happened to my Uncle a year ago). Fingers crossed for you all.

Although to be completely honest, I don't see "chav" as a classist term anyway - there are chavs from the notional middle class too, although they don't know the difference between a napkin and serviette and their parents aren't from one of the three professions, so perhaps can't really be said to be middle class.


That they do.

What Cras said. Sorry mate. xx

EDIT thanks all guys

I'm so sorry, mate.

Yeah maybe, it just seems to be interchangeable with "working class" in some usage though, which is why I steer well clear of it. Also it's very 00s of you.

I've never seen the two as interchangeable, and my family is working class so I'm quite comfortable with it

Best decade ever, dude.

Really sorry to hear that Cavey.

I hereby withdraw my support for your previous comments. You are now just being unnecessarily rude, personal and ableist.

Possibly in a future 6th Edition.

Just stick with your Chaotic Evil Gnome.

I was hoping to ditch Gaywood as a PC to be honest.

I'm chaotic neutral at worst, man.

Sorry to hear that Cavey, waiting for tests to happen to confirm/dispel fears is the worst time. I wish your brother all the best, I'm sure you'll be there for him no matter what the outcome. Hopefully it'll be to take the piss out of him for having nothing wrong and wasting everybody's time!

I know mate but they give me really bad cramp and if I take them at night I can't sleep. I already get restless leg from the Quetiapine and that coupled with the statins gives me awful cramp. I end up fidgetting my leg like and the cramp sets in. Bad, too. I remember one day I couldn't figure out how to bend/move to make it stop and literally started crying.

I've not even gone into side effects tbh. Pretty much everything I take says "Avoid machinery you will feel dozy avoid XYZ"

So yeah, I just take them in the morning and put up with the pain during the day.

Of course it isn't nothing. It's awful and I truly mean that my thoughts are with you. There will be a time today where I sit down and try to understand how it makes you feel. I won't be able to fully understand it of course, because I've never been through that exact situation that you are in now. I wouldn't wish it on any one though and I truly hope for the best.

I do understand a large chunk of the implications though. My dad died when he was 35. It's one of the things that I have never been able to get over. Forget about for a while? sure, but never actually come to terms with.

The hardest part has got to be looking at a photo of my father, then looking at myself with my graying hair and beard and realising that I am actually older than he was.

I really pray that no one has to go through that or feel like that. Just remember, you will need to be strong in all of this. Not that I doubt that of course because of the success you've made in life, whereas mine has just been a constant clusterfuck.

Listen to yourself.

I thought the Yes side were liberal caring types?

Of course, I did this to myself taking drugs ! yet here I am nearly 30 years after taking the last illegal drug and I'm still me.

Seriously I have seen about as much hate and anger coming from Yes voters as I have from those stupid racists. I think that's the part that has shocked me the most.

Thanks.
FWIW, far from this towering success, I actually regard myself as a weak-willed jellyfish who inflicted avoidable harm to my family for being a fruit machine addict for many years (you'll know what I'm on about here), and smoking 20+ a day as little as 9 months ago; if anyone should have a shadow on his lung it's me.
Stop making sweeping (diametrically wrong) assumptions about people you don't really know.

Nuff said.