How do you control your condiments? Do you have a big pile of it to dip your stuff into, or so you jizz it all over the place like a pornstar freak?

I always put sauce on the side, otherwise you can't change your mind as you eat about the correct amount of sauce for each mouthful.

I always put sauce on the side, otherwise you can't change your mind as you eat about the correct amount of sauce for each mouthful.

Is it weird that I read this and heard Charles Boyle from the Nine-Nine saying it?

I'm going to take that as a complement.

I'm going to take that as a complement.

I just do not know what to believe anymore.

Potato scallops, that is, in case anyone was wondering.

Peripherally, an old school friend of mine went to London to study ophthalmic optics in 1972 and was appalled to find that meat and potato pies were not available from chippies in the metrolopiss.

I wonder if this situation has been rectified. Can anyone advise?

Never heard of potato scallops before. At what point does a Potato Scallop becomes a fishcake, and vice versa?

Fishcake has fish in, potato scallop is just a flat chunk of spud battered and fried.

Does anyone know what klondikes are? I thought they were pretty common until I mentioned them to the wife who'd never heard of them.

Does anyone know what klondikes are? I thought they were pretty common until I mentioned them to the wife who'd never heard of them.

Apparently they're a central England thing, according to wikipedia.

They're most tasty.

I thought a scallop was a shellfish

They sold them in the Midlands while I was growing up there. They were magnificent. You know how the smell of fish and chips is basically a mix of batter, more oil, salt and vinegar? And how sometimes the taste of the chips is not quite as good as the smell. Scallops taste like the smell, and they are glorious.

That sounds difficult to arrange. Do you take the Moet to the chippy and eat in your car, then?

They're fritters in Scotland, though I don't think they're that common. A roll with a fritter in it was a bit of a delicacy when I was growing up but I don't remember seeing them as an option outside Stewarton so they could've been specific to my local area.

From my experience, they're pretty common.

Are they maybe an Ayrshire thing? Or have you seen them elsewhere as well?

That sounds difficult to arrange. Do you take the Moet to the chippy and eat in your car, then?

That sounds difficult to arrange. Do you take the Moet to the chippy and eat in your car, then?

And drive home drunk?

One glass will suffice

They sold them in the Midlands while I was growing up there. They were magnificent. You know how the smell of fish and chips is basically a mix of batter, more oil, salt and vinegar? And how sometimes the taste of the chips is not quite as good as the smell. Scallops taste like the smell, and they are glorious.

Ah, good point. Never really been to a chippy anywhere else though, so I wouldn't know.
If they are only Ayrshire, then the rest of Scotland is missing out.

Fritter roll and curry sauce I can't eat them anymore because of all the gluten I might just have one anyway, they are so good.

What symptoms do you get if you accidentally eat it?