I switched over from a lovely choral concert on Radio 3 for that pile of insulting crap.

In a moment, we will come to the ten-minute rule motion. However, the House will be aware of the subsequent business appertaining to Northern Ireland. By way of explanation, I wanted to mention the following. Last night, my office received a telephone call from a sadly rather uninitiated tabloid scribbler who seemed much excited by the rumour that “Mr Speaker would not be chairing Committee proceedings”. He was most anxious to decipher the reason for this, because it seemed to him most mysterious. Kindness and generosity of spirit prevent me from naming the said individual. [Hon. Members: “Go on.”] However, perhaps I can be permitted to say on the Floor of the House what is well known to Members: it is a very long established convention that Mr Speaker does not chair the Committee of the whole House. When I say a long established convention I am referring to a convention dating back to the 17th century.

I know that some people are slow learners and others are late developers, but I hope that the chappie has now got the point, and it will be a professional utility to him thereafter not to need to trouble my staff to be educated on this front. There we go, there is hope for us all. The fella has now, I think, probably grasped the point.

I still find I can never easily recall the name of the god-bother chap who came between Clegg and Cable. (And yet, I can remember Robert Maclennan, who was leader for about three months in 1988.)

And yet, I can remember Robert Maclennan, who was leader for about three months in 1988.

I normally enjoy the rituals of the transfer of power: the speech on the steps as the outgoing PM tries for something amounting to a legacy, the car chase up the Mall, the awkward few minutes of national freewheeling, then the arrival of the new PM. I just can't muster the enthusiasm to watch it all tomorrow. As I did at the inauguration of Mr Trump, I might just head to the pub and drink.

Looking for upsides: at least one-third of the Tory party aren't entirely insane.

So it's the shit sandwich.

So it's the shit sandwich.

The day before the next Scottish independence referendum, we're all going to claim to live at Bamba's.

The day before the next Scottish independence referendum, we're all going to claim to live at Bamba's.

About the next referendum, who is going to call it? (I'm only half Scottish, btw), but how is it going to happen? Asking Westminster ever so nicely clearly isn't goint to work, so what are the options?

Smorgasturd

About the next referendum, who is going to call it? (I'm only half Scottish, btw), but how is it going to happen?

Asking Westminster ever so nicely clearly isn't goint to work, so what are the options?

But the Government is obliged to hold a referendum on Irish unification if "at any time it appears likely to him that a majority of those voting would express a wish that Northern Ireland should cease to be part of the United Kingdom and form part of a united Ireland". A no deal Brexit may well cause that.

Do you reckon? I can’t imagine a United Ireland in my lifetime, no matter how bad Brexit goes.

I can see a messed up enough Brexit raising enough anger towards the British Government that the alternative seems more promising. "Westminster doesn't care about Northern Ireland" would be a pretty easy sell in that situation by reunification campaigners.

I can see a messed up enough Brexit raising enough anger towards the British Government that the alternative seems more promising. "Westminster doesn't care about Northern Ireland" would be a pretty easy sell in that situation by reunification campaigners.

True. But gosh, if there’s one thing that’s more difficult to overcome it’s differences and tensions of faith. The more closely related the two faiths, the less reconcilable the differences.

And the same logic applies to jingoistic Spaniards, too.

Legally it requires an agreement form Westminster to hold one. Whilst (I think) Mr Johnson has ruled this out, if demand becomes too great Parliament could force his hand. But, yes, it is tricky.



Believe in more. And perhaps help with his legal fees.

While I'm here, my own avatar is annoying me, way too lifelike. Is there an easy idiot-proof way to replace it? (I have a vague memory of it being more hassle than it should have been)

I recommend that all of you join me and move to Germany. It's slightly more bearable at a distance. Sanity still seems to be in place over here. For the time being. Probably.

I'd love to, but that opportunity might be closed to me at the end of October.

Out of interest, is Angela Merkel's health getting much coverage over there?
It looks like there's definitely something to be concerned about, but are they respecting her privacy?

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Zoidberg, you are more than welcome to pay a visit, if you can handle complete strangers. I hope you're wrong about the end of October - nobody sems to be sure what exactly Mr Johnspn (and it's costing me all my energy not to insert swearies here) will end up doing.

It did make the news but the press (the ones I read) seem to be leaving her alone, which is almost certainly the right way to go about it. So no idea from us, hope it's nothing serious, she seems pretty decent as far as CDU (rough equivalent to the Tories) peeps go.

but apart from that, do you reckon there are other realistic options out there? (other than the section 30 thingy, or whatever it's called).

Where in Germany are you? We absolutely loved Berlin when we visited and definitely want to see more. We did say at the time that it felt like the type of place we could be happy living in.

I don’t know too much about CDU policies, but she has always come across as an intelligent sensible leader that deserves respect and their welcoming of refugees was definitely a big plus.

It could be the price of any supply and confidence arrangement if we get another hung parliament after a snap election or if a caretaker national administration were formed after a collapse of the Johnson government just before or straight after crashing out .

I was thinking more of with the largest non-Tory party after an election. No way they'd do anything with the Tories.