Be Excellent To Each Other

Jesus fucking christ! Honestly thought that was going to be a link to an article on the Onion with a photoshopped picture.

DO they tape their right ear so they can't hear anything coming from... the left?

(that needs some work)

I know it's not quite the same but imagine you avoided death by mere millimeters and the next day you rock up to work and everyone's done something like that? You'd think they were taking the piss.

You say it's not quite the same but really, it is very much the same.. Apart from thinking they're taking the piss.

Like Bill Hicks' line about Jesus - "You think when Jesus comes back he's going to want to see a fucking cross?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJSZcxXe7IQ

And that's because they ARE.

It'd be funny if it wasn't ludicrous.

UNLESS you are Trump, in which case you'll think it's hero worship.

I have to hand it to him, the mental cogs clicked into place while the Secret Service were swarming round him so that he was able to get that iconic shot with fist raised and the flag behind him. Possibly the cleverest thing he's done since he lost the election.

It makes about as much sense as anything else to do with this incident.

10 bananas.

I thought they were Nelly fans, but they didn't know exactly where to put the patch...

It’s a cult. That’s cult behaviour and somebody needs to rescue those people.

I saw one with a post-it note on his ear….

Did it have 'password = 12345678' written on it?

I know I'm getting old now I'm watching PMQs and thinking how young many MPs are.

Has anyone seem mElon's latest vanity project?

It's a "hilarious" anti-woke cartoon.

Make so you sit around to the end for a surprise appearance

Jeeeez…

If I didn't know, I'd have assumed that was a half-arsed parody of an "anti-woke" cartoon.

Jimmy Krankie has apparently had a face lift and is now supporting Trump.

Was that meant to be funny? Or entertaining?

Um...... both?

I assume he was talking about the cartoon.

Oh, all down to timing. I suspected he might have been a closet Krankie super fan.

Not a closet fan, out there in the open for all to see!

And yes, apologies Warhead. It was the cartoon I was referencing.

Just going back over my screenshots from the election and found this


L-R. Kim from Eastenders, Ryan Sampson with a sun tan, Mike Reid with new wig, Mr/Mrs/Ms/They-them? mayor, One of Santa's little steampunk helpers, Daredevil Davey, Clare Goose wearing someone else's trousers and suckers to prevent falling over if there's a sudden swing.

Daredevil Davey disqualified for not wearing his name badge.

I see that the EDL thugs have decided to have a riot in Southport in response to yesterday’s tragic events.

Because the suspect may be from Rwandan heritage they are trying to burn down a mosque, being unaware that it’s a mostly Christian country.

On the upside, karma works

https://x.com/LukeKenny1990/status/1818386251621212293

😂 pic.twitter.com/ESvw8YBYJS

— Luke Kenny (@LukeKenny1990) July 30, 2024

Poetic justice.

But two to the head, almost simultaneously, then one to the family jewels, has got to be some kind of Darwinian record.

Disgusting scenes. Glad he got paid back.

Almost like a reverse Mozambique drill. Quality.

Sadly quite a few other cities have had similar now.
It’s not got the immediate payoff, but there’s a video of another thug taunting the police and then getting bitten on the butt by a police dog

What did the man at the end of the video add to this, other than just recapping what the other presenter had just said or what the video we'd just seen had shown?

It's the news, innit. Tell the audience what you're going to tell them, then tell them, then recap on what you told them.

There are other clips that just show the moment the banner is lowered and Liz flouncing off.

It’s not quite “brick to the balls”, but still an awesome video.

I suppose I don't watch the news much (and never cared for the 24-hours news channels at all) so I'm a bit unfamiliar with the style, and I hate it.

It was funny though, and that lady in the green dress came across very, very badly

Why doesn't she just own it? Do a "funny" photoshoot on a farm for the Telegraph, carry a cuddly vegetable to a bowling alley, or release a glossy summer cookbook?

If Theresa May still dances, Truss could handle a salad.

It's perfectly fine. Right wingers are for laughing at not with.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2x95d3v3do.amp

One fella paints animals on walls and it's all fine, another paints post boxes and the owners then want the police to have a word. Two tier keir needs to sort this

I find Banksy's work has the same lasting impression on me as a side-bar cartoon in the Guardian. Look, get the message, laugh (perhaps), move on.

Blobby Box will be tonight's nightmare.

Thats a really good summary, I like that.

The government's published its short bill to kick out the remaining hereditary peers from the upper house.

Not as far reaching a change as I think I'd have liked (today I mostly support an independent appointments commission and a 20 year term) but better than nothing. It's only been 25 years since the majority of the hereditaries were removed, after all, so perhaps come back in 2049 for further reform.

The only loss of colour to our national pageant will be the ending of the occasional by-elections for peers, which never ceased to amuse me.

SHIPLEY BYPASS NEWS

https://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/ ... uncertain/

The Shipley bypass should be called the Philip Davies Way

Starmer meets Trump for two hour dinner

What the actual fuck?

The only excuse I can think of for this is that Mr. S is hedging his bets in case the Orange One does make it back into the White House and he has to try to foster the Special Relationship with him.

BBC asks Trump what he would do differently in the Middle East

And his answer? The world won't stand for it. And it would never have happened. And Russia and Ukraine would never have happened. Presumably, he means they wouldn't have happened if he'd still been president. Fuckwit.

In other words he either forgets the question, or just avoids it, like he does with just about all other press questions, because he doesn't have an answer.

Well yeah, the election is still a toss up so it would be pretty foolish to not take/arrange such a meeting.

That's perfectly normal, for exactly the reason you suggest. We have no control over who will be elected and we need to have a working relationship with them even if they are orange buffoons.

Starmer had meetings with senior US folk when he was the leader of the opposition

But no one should be forced to have a two hour dinner with Trump. I mean, think of the mental harm you're likely to suffer.

I love the idea that the press think Mr Johnson's memoirs are anything other than masturbatory fanfic.

Actually, I don't. It's painful.