Be Excellent To Each Other :: View topic

crowds aren't nice places to be

Lonewolves wrote:

Put into moon rockets, my dear fellow.

Language evolves.

Currently testing a new system for children's care and as such have been creating many dummy records. Had some trouble setting up a carer (Mother Hubbard, of 'A Shoe', Cornmarket, Oxford). Email exchange:

IT support: Which child are you trying to place with Mother Hubbard?
Me: Genghis Khan.

circa 15 years ago...

"Why does my website have "arse" written in the top left, Gareth?"
"Oh, that was just a debugging thing I put in and must have forgotten about - will remove it now, sorry!"

Fortunately it wasn't on anything particularly important or customer-facing...

...and obviously now I just use "banana in disk drive error"

Your periodic reminder that, before you put comedy values into test systems, you should think hard about what happens if those values leak into prod.

GazChap wrote:

'banana' was always my go-to word when I wanted to test something would display on-screen.

While testing email filtering rules, I made a redirect loop, and crashed Cardiff's COMSC email server with millions of emails with a subject line of something like "why doesn't my fucking procmail work".

I'm completely allergic to listening to voice mail is what I've just realised. I have an almost physical reaction when I try to press the alert and I've got as far as calling it but hung up after a couple seconds.

krazywookie wrote:

Same, so I downloaded an app that transcribes them for me. PF Voicemail+ if you're on Android.

the Nottingham Single Sex Tournament

Maybe it's revenge for all the times you've blocked stuff out with your own head.

Why does she have a screen in the back of her head?

Curiosity wrote:

Why does she have a screen in the back of her head?

It's a reflection. The projector shines through glass, causing a reflection to the back wall of the booth. This reflection can be seen in the window from where I'm sat. PHYSICS!

Thank god you explained that. I had no idea how reflections worked and thought it far more likely that a woman actually had a screen implanted in her skull.

DavPaz wrote:

Curiosity wrote:

Why does she have a screen in the back of her head?

It's a reflection. The projector shines through glass, causing a reflection to the back wall of the booth. This reflection can be seen in the window from where I'm sat. PHYSICS!

Thank god you explained that. I had no idea how reflections worked and thought it far more likely that a woman actually had a screen implanted in her skull.

DavPaz wrote:

Curiosity wrote:

Why does she have a screen in the back of her head?

It's a reflection. The projector shines through glass, causing a reflection to the back wall of the booth. This reflection can be seen in the window from where I'm sat. PHYSICS!

Thank god you explained that. I had no idea how reflections worked and thought it far more likely that a woman actually had a screen implanted in her skull.

Transhumanism is a thing, now.

MaliA wrote:

Transhumanism is a thing, now.

You've upgraded?

Bamba wrote:

Thank god you explained that. I had no idea how reflections worked and thought it far more likely that a woman actually had a screen implanted in her skull.

Author:	BikNorton [ Fri Nov 24, 2017 19:37 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
DavPaz wrote: crowds aren't nice places to be

Author:	myp [ Fri Nov 24, 2017 21:30 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Curiosity wrote: Lonewolves wrote: Put into moon rockets, my dear fellow. Language evolves. Or devolves, whenever you speak.

Author:	Zardoz [ Fri Nov 24, 2017 23:07 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Railings are irony.

Author:	TheVision [ Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:12 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
It's Saturday morning and as usual I'm sat in the waiting room while my girls are dancing. There's a woman in here who hasn't stopped talking and the guy she's talking to has the patience of a saint. He's responded with "yeah.." and nothing else for 40 minutes now. She's really annoying! There's also another woman who clearly doesn't like her daughter. She's done nothing but look on her phone and shouted at her since she's got here. The girls are enjoying it though. They're dancing to Moana which amuses me as it's sung by the same guy who threatened to turn things sideways and stick them up his enemies candy asses in the early 2000's.

Author:	MaliA [ Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:31 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I need to start getting Punt and Dennis to something like that. Really need some structure to the weekends.

Be Excellent To Each Other https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/

Bits and Bobs 49 https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=11060	Page 20 of 60

Author:	TheVision [ Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:40 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
It might be a bit of a way to travel for you but I'd welcome the company in the waiting room.

Author:	Mr Russell [ Sat Nov 25, 2017 19:44 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
We have taken to swimming as a regular Sunday fixture. Two hours in the local brine pool followed by a drive to a National Trust place with 30-60 minutes (nap occurs here). Couple of hours split between buggy and a walk and then we’re good to drive home for a short relax, tea and bed.

Author:	Cras [ Sat Nov 25, 2017 22:29 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Block party

Author:	KovacsC [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:00 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I am on a course. 8am online course on a Monday. Grr why can't folks work out how to mute their fucking lines.... going to be a long day

Author:	Kern [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:30 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Currently testing a new system for children's care and as such have been creating many dummy records. Had some trouble setting up a carer (Mother Hubbard, of 'A Shoe', Cornmarket, Oxford). Email exchange: IT support: Which child are you trying to place with Mother Hubbard? Me: Genghis Khan.

Author:	Grim... [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:32 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
That shoe's gonna be a bloodbath.

Author:	Kern [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:34 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I'm not entirely sure she'll pass the next inspection anyway.

Author:	devilman [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:41 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Kern wrote: Currently testing a new system for children's care and as such have been creating many dummy records. Had some trouble setting up a carer (Mother Hubbard, of 'A Shoe', Cornmarket, Oxford). Email exchange: IT support: Which child are you trying to place with Mother Hubbard? Me: Genghis Khan. I was creating dummy records for a system last week and had to stop myself from using my usual 'John Smith' as a contact, as the brewery we're building the system for might think we're taking the piss. Although Genghis might have made a mean landlord too.

Author:	Doctor Glyndwr [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:54 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Your periodic reminder that, before you put comedy values into test systems, you should think hard about what happens if those values leak into prod.

Author:	DavPaz [ Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:02 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Attachment: IMG_20171128_090016.jpg The entire back row is empty, and she chooses to sit there, right in fucking front of me. For fuck's sake.

Author:	DavPaz [ Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:49 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Now the main speaker has requested a lapel mic that he's clipped wrong so it's rubbing on his shirt. The life of a tech involves a lot of fiddling with tech-troglodytes. He's standing at the lectern, but using a lapel mic and a clicker. Why??

Author:	DavPaz [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:56 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Like our test student account, a certain Mr. D Vader?

Author:	GazChap [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:00 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
circa 15 years ago... "Why does my website have "arse" written in the top left, Gareth?" "Oh, that was just a debugging thing I put in and must have forgotten about - will remove it now, sorry!" Fortunately it wasn't on anything particularly important or customer-facing... ...and obviously now I just use "banana in disk drive error"

Author:	Doctor Glyndwr [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:04 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
While testing email filtering rules, I made a redirect loop, and crashed Cardiff's COMSC email server with millions of emails with a subject line of something like "why doesn't my fucking procmail work".

Author:	devilman [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:09 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
GazChap wrote: circa 15 years ago... "Why does my website have "arse" written in the top left, Gareth?" "Oh, that was just a debugging thing I put in and must have forgotten about - will remove it now, sorry!" Fortunately it wasn't on anything particularly important or customer-facing... ...and obviously now I just use "banana in disk drive error" 'banana' was always my go-to word when I wanted to test something would display on-screen.

Author:	Dr Zoidberg [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:14 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Doctor Glyndwr wrote: Your periodic reminder that, before you put comedy values into test systems, you should think hard about what happens if those values leak into prod. Or comments in an install script about teabagging someone’s mum that get left on the desktop of a customers server.

Author:	GazChap [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:33 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
devilman wrote: GazChap wrote: circa 15 years ago... "Why does my website have "arse" written in the top left, Gareth?" "Oh, that was just a debugging thing I put in and must have forgotten about - will remove it now, sorry!" Fortunately it wasn't on anything particularly important or customer-facing... ...and obviously now I just use "banana in disk drive error" 'banana' was always my go-to word when I wanted to test something would display on-screen. I just use "asd" now.

Author:	GazChap [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 13:34 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Doctor Glyndwr wrote: While testing email filtering rules, I made a redirect loop, and crashed Cardiff's COMSC email server with millions of emails with a subject line of something like "why doesn't my fucking procmail work". Did you get a million replies back with "it fucking does"

Author:	markg [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 14:57 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I did something just last week, it was a kind of workflow thing for new starters, it was a bloody nightmare as it works its way around about six different departments depending on all sorts of crap. Anyway it sent out about a dozen notifications to payroll with the subject line something like "payroll action needed - name - blah blah blah" and then just "blah blah whatever" and a link in the body of the email. Fortunately I know them all pretty well.

Author:	Mr Russell [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 15:47 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I once created a calendar system for logging when charity events are occurring in our stores, and what's been done and how much has been raised. They, unbeknownst to me created a little flash video of how to use the system based off the test data instead of the live data, and so the whole company still sees the sample events "Duck Hunt", "Duck BBQ", and "Duck Feast".

Author:	Pundabaya [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 17:40 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I hope your usual charity isn't the RSPCA.

Author:	Squirt [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 17:42 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
The BASC totally loved it though.

Author:	krazywookie [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 18:21 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
I'm completely allergic to listening to voice mail is what I've just realised. I have an almost physical reaction when I try to press the alert and I've got as far as calling it but hung up after a couple seconds.

Author:	myp [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 18:28 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
krazywookie wrote: I'm completely allergic to listening to voice mail is what I've just realised. I have an almost physical reaction when I try to press the alert and I've got as far as calling it but hung up after a couple seconds. Same, so I downloaded an app that transcribes them for me. PF Voicemail+ if you're on Android.

Author:	krazywookie [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 18:42 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Lonewolves wrote: krazywookie wrote: I'm completely allergic to listening to voice mail is what I've just realised. I have an almost physical reaction when I try to press the alert and I've got as far as calling it but hung up after a couple seconds. Same, so I downloaded an app that transcribes them for me. PF Voicemail+ if you're on Android. You sir, are a God damn angel. Thank you.

Author:	myp [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 19:14 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Only took two and a bit months for this video to get made, but here's us winning the Nottingham Single Sex Tournament. 27.55 if you want to see me rip a double in the final.

Author:	Doctor Glyndwr [ Mon Nov 27, 2017 21:28 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Lonewolves wrote: the Nottingham Single Sex Tournament Title of your (solo) sex tape.

Author:	devilman [ Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:15 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Maybe it's revenge for all the times you've blocked stuff out with your own head.

Author:	Kern [ Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:21 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Put some yellow and black 'out of order' tape around it. Nobody will bother checking.

Author:	MaliA [ Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:23 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
Put on a scary mask, tap on the window and shout "OooogaBooga"

Author:	DavPaz [ Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:29 ]
Post subject:	Re: Bits and Bobs 49
devilman wrote: Maybe it's revenge for all the times you've blocked stuff out with your own head. I've had a pass through camera/screen system fitted. I'm not an evil man