Bits and Bobs 30

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 0:05

You can avoid getting it on the floor by pissing in the bath.

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 0:06

I guess I'm the only guy who can control his stream with pin-point accuracy, then? Seriously, I could stand across the bathroom and still get it straight in the bowl.

Anyway, Malabelm, the cleaners charge £15 per hour. It took them 2 hours to do my flat this time, but it'll be quicker in future by virtue of it not being as dirty (my dust levels were rapidly approaching those seen in your photo

)

I got a 20% discount for the first session too.

£15-£20 once a fortnight for a clean flat is a small price to pay

sinister agent · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 7046

Hacking thing might finally bring down leading cunt Piers "cunt" Morgan. Fingers crossed, eh?

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

sinister agent wrote:

Hacking thing might finally bring down leading cunt Piers "cunt" Morgan. Fingers crossed, eh?

viewtopic.php?p=580780#p580780

sinister agent · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 7046

Mine was from a real newspaper :kiss:

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Gah. I hate stupid website owners.

Virgin Wines have an valid SSL certificate for http://www.virginwines.co.uk. But not for virginwines.co.uk. And they don't even redirect virginwines.co.uk to http://www.virginwines.co.uk. So browsers throw SSL errors.

I'm more annoyed about this than I really should be.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:03

Stop wining.

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6533

Sounds like sour grapes to me.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38487

I think he has a good case.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:07

Is it home time, yet? Awaiting instructions from above.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

I think he needs to put a cork in it.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

MaliA wrote:

Is it home time, yet? Awaiting instructions from above.

What, from DavPaz?

DavPaz, can MaliA go home now?

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

Fucking hell - are you on nights or something, Mali?

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:12

MaliA wrote:

Is it home time, yet? Awaiting instructions from above.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38487

Craster wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Is it home time, yet? Awaiting instructions from above.

What, from DavPaz?

DavPaz, can MaliA go home now?

No. Get back here and make me some tea.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:14

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

Fucking hell - are you on nights or something, Mali?

No, just got in. Awaiting instructions. I fear I was too efficient doing stuff, so I'm awaiting instructions to do some other stuff.

Squirt · **Joined:** 31st Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6533

BREAKING NEWS!

Alarm · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:15

Malabelm wrote:

DavPaz wrote:

Dude, your cock's broken

Heh. I don't mean every time, but once in a while it'll just refuse to conform to any known physics and throw an absolute curve ball at you.

Not to mention the perils of a trapped hair ensuring a two-or-more pee stream split.

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32619

Good lord. An old college acquaintance added me on Google+ last week; turns out he's a Vice President of Merrill Lynch now. His degree was in Modern History.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:

he's a Vice President of Merrill Lynch now.

That's a lot less impressive than it sounds. Trust me.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:04

Modern History sounds easy.

Alarm · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:16

Zardoz wrote:

Modern History sounds easy.

"Hold on, I'll just search the [newspaper of choice] online archive."

kalmar · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:29

David Cameron's senior adviser Steve Hilton suggests UK should abolish maternity leave

Quote:

Mr Hilton, who often walks around the Prime Minister's office without shoes, is an increasingly influential figure who often suggests seemingly crazy ideas in an attempt to spark creative debate.

“Steve also wanted to suspend all consumer rights legislation for nine months to see what would happen," the source added. "Some of his ideas are great but a lot of time is spent at an official level trying to deconstruct his maddest thoughts.”

Yeees. 'seemingly crazy' ideas.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:41

Holly Willoughby just tweeted:

Code:

hollywills (Holly Willoughby)
Does anyone remember a old drum and base track that sampled Jill francis- make love to me, around 97?

And now I love her even more.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:43

Grim... wrote:

Holly Willoughby just tweeted:

Code:

hollywills (Holly Willoughby)
Does anyone remember a old drum and base track that sampled Jill francis- make love to me, around 97?

And now I love her even more.

Did she often travel between Chingford and Leighton?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:46

Grim... wrote:

Holly Willoughby just tweeted:

Code:

hollywills (Holly Willoughby)
Does anyone remember a old drum and base track that sampled Jill francis- make love to me, around 97?

And now I love her even more.

Yeah, even though it's BASS you daft bint.

Alarm · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:55

Zardoz wrote:

Grim... wrote:

Holly Willoughby just tweeted:

Code:

hollywills (Holly Willoughby)
Does anyone remember a old drum and base track that sampled Jill francis- make love to me, around 97?

And now I love her even more.

Yeah, even though it's BASS you daft bint.

I noticed that too. Tch.

Grim... · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 13:02

Yeah, apparently: http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/celebrity- ... yslexic/1/

Plissken · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 13:09

Oh, *that* old chestnut.

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 13:17

I guess the mechanic I booked my car in with for Monday is dyslexic also?

"Handbreak needs ajustment" indeed.

The "ajustment" I can let slide, but "Handbreak?" You're a mechanic, for fuck's sake!

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

The hairdresser on the main road has one of those signs out the front that just pictures pretty people with lovely hair, fairly standard for a hairdresser. However, one of them is Lexi Belle. I suspect they don't realise this.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 13:38

Cut and blow, sir?

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 13:52

Who is Lexi Belle. I am hesitant to google this as Z knows who she is.

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14495

MaliA wrote:

Who is Lexi Belle. I am hesitant to google this as Z knows who she is.

Star of various adult entertainment films , googling would not be particularly clever at work - however her wikipedia page is here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lexi_Bell

GazChap · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 14:35

Craster wrote:

The hairdresser on the main road has one of those signs out the front that just pictures pretty people with lovely hair, fairly standard for a hairdresser. However, one of them is Lexi Belle. I suspect they don't realise this.

Sounds reminiscent of calm.jpg.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49232

Bottom left, obv.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 14:47

Her hand is huge.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

Yo Mama's Hair Secrets?

markg · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 16575

I wish I'd taken a picture of the sign for a hairdressers near here when it opened. It was on a board like that outside and I think the owners didn't understand the difference between exclamation and question marks. It said:

Haircuts ?

Haircuts ?

HAIRCUTS ???

Alarm · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 15:04

I'm reminded of a barber shop in Caernarfon which proudly boasts:

Quote:

CAERNARFON'S OLDEST BARBER SHOP
ESTABLISHED 1998.

(It might be 'hairdresser' - I can't remember).

1998 isn't that old, is it? Hardly something to boast about, in my opinion.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38487

I wouldn't be surprised if the other 3 pics were porn, too

markh · **Joined:** 13th Oct, 2008 **Posts:** 903

In Sudbury there is a barbers with the motto ' a right bunch of cuts'. I keep meaning to grab a photo but the people inside look pretty surly

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 15:28

MaliA wrote:

Her hand is huge.

That's my foot.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 15:28

I always liked 'Hair by Biddies' on the bus route into Blackpool.

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 16:05

Last day here tomorrow. Long fortnight, eh?

Alarm · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 16:21

I once took a photograph of a hairdresser's called OMG. I'll try and dig it out.

Plissken · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 16:40

Stockport. Next door to the Chinese takeaway.

Attachment:

advert.jpg

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 16:41

MaliA wrote:

Last day here tomorrow. Long fortnight, eh?

"Export to file -> CSV" yes?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 16:43

MaliA wrote:

Last day here tomorrow. Long fortnight, eh?

Been a long run, yeah. Any chance they'll turn around and ask you to stay on after tomorrow, or were you covering for maternity/sick leave?

MaliA · **Posted:** Thu Jul 28, 2011 16:46

Zardoz wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Last day here tomorrow. Long fortnight, eh?

Been a long run, yeah. Any chance they'll turn around and ask you to stay on after tomorrow, or were you covering for maternity/sick leave?

The latter. Said that they'll call and ask for me back when there's more work to be done. They seemed very positive. I've pretty much cleared up about 3 years of backlogged stuffs, or so.

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Bits and Bobs 30
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