"If you changed what PC stood for to 'Politeness and Courtesy', it would make railing against it seem absurd." - Richard Herring.

Several streets in The City cordoned off for a bomb threat. Hopefully not a big one as it's just around the corner.

ERK!

Hope it is a hoax too, however, it has got me out of a meeting I didn't want.

Nothing on twitter. Is this a hoax hoax?

nothing on babestation.

Nothing in Bass Player.

I don't believe you. I'd best check for myself.

Jesus christ, fucking estate agents and mortgage brokers.

Mortgage broker (and I quote, vertbatim): "Ok, so tell me exactly what you want to do now? You’ve presented three properties now, all with differing prices and criteria, deposit or other issues."
I want to know if I can get a mortgage on any of them, you cretin! I'm not just sending you house details and details of my finances for a chat, you're a fucking mortgage broker, why the fuck do you think i'm sending you these details?

Estate agent: "Have you thought about putting your house up for auction?"
Me: "I need it to sell for over over £120k to clear the mortgage, so is that possible?"
Estate agent: "Yeah, you just put it in the auction and set a reserve of £120k"
I'm not asking how a fucking auction works, I'm asking if you think, in your opinion as a fucking estate agent who is supposed to know this shit, if you think i'd get the £120k I needed.

... and breathe.

It's all fine now

That's brilliant, you should just have said those things to them, there are plenty of others.

Mortgage broker has actually been pretty good so far, or was when I went through this last time, so i'll give him another shot, but they are ten a penny, so i'll go happily go elsewhere.
(someone mentioned a good broker on here a few weeks back, I think, who was that?)

Estate agent is a bit trickier as it's the place thats managing the rental, and I want to sell to the guy in it if at all possible, so i'm stuck with them really, for a little bit at least.

It was a condition of purchase on our house that we used the recommended Mortgage Broker, which was an utter ballache, not least because we could have just rolled over our existing mortgage. There was not one stage of the process that they didn't make a fundamental error on (all of which were due to them not processing my self employment correctly, or remedying it until I forced the issue).

After all that, when the mortgage was finalised, they provided me with PPI quotes that I hadn't requested as I didn't need them and knew that the cost of PPI was ludicrously high for me anyway, all prepared on the basis that I was employed and so would have been invalid anyway. This was two years ago, you'd have thought they'd have known about misselling PPI.

I think MrsA called up and said "we have this amount and want to borrow this" and worked it out from there.

That's all very easy, if you don't have a house on a BTL mortgage that you can't get rid off

Crikey, yes. I forgot.

Child has fallen asleep in a warm room. Best not move her, eh?

Might that warm room, perchance, have a bar?

What are the odds?! Random happenstance!

I can get a mortgage! Woo!
If i'm buying a second hand home, I don't need to sell the BTL to do it! Woo!
I need to find a house to buy! Woo!

This is just lovely, but right at the top top end of our budget and no garage (it says it has a detached one, but that appears to be a lie)
http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for ... 06179.html?

Do I really need a garage?

Garage is in bottom right of photo?

That looks fab! Go for it!

Where else will our band practice?

We charge $2 to practice, $4 an hour to play and $6 an hour not to play.

That has been converted into a utility room, and is only 3m long anyway, as far as I can tell on the plans.

The previous dicks did that to my garage, too. If it's only 3m long, chances are it got a wall half-way across it to extend the room behind.

Looks like that isn't the case, it's a 1920's house, I imagine it was a coal store rather than a garage to start with.

Just got the contract from the estate agent to sell the house up north. 2.5% fee with a £3200 minimum! Hahahahahahahahaha!

I have politely told them to try again

"I'll pay 1% and pop around on your daughter's birthday and explain why she's not getting a pony"

NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Also I couldn't find the Grot, Grumble and Scud thread off the mobile site despite searching, yes, you guessed it "grot" "scud" and... I forget the last one. Anyway, here's a new thing in the world of sex things that both amused and FREAKED ME THE FUCK OUT, MAN.

Yes, it does feature a vagina in the pictures. Not a real one, mind; not that I've seen one in a while. Tough out there on the dating scene init. Well, when you look like Darkman without his bandages. What? Yeah, that thing...

BEHOLD! A new sex toy! For you, the freak that needs a vagina on an ankle on a foot. By the way, if you are the person who needs a vagina on an ankle on a foot, I can't help but think that you're limiting your sexual preferences too narrowly, but I'm happy that you now have a thing to shag in the comfort on your own asylum.

BEHOLD AGAIN!

A link!

Sorry for rambling.

Bye.


http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/6501598

Jesus Christ.

I... what even... what? just why?

Dear god! What is the world coming to!

Feet and pussy-ankles.

Stop pussyfooting about.

Flirtz in Nottingham has an adorable website.

Come to my party. You're only about 30 mins away.

Um...

Is that an open offer?

And bring a foot.

It's bonus/payrise/promotion day today at EvilGlobalMegaCorp which might bring some entertaining drama with it and, hopefully, enough free money to clear my credit card off. I made out like a bandit last year but that's unlikely to happen this time round for various reasons; none of which are at all related to my actual job performance annoyingly.

That escalated quickly.

Good luck! Hold out for 40% with a 25% kicker each year.

You say that as if I actually get any choice in the matter.

Tax exam results day! I don't have to sack anyone this month! Excellent.

Hope it goes well.

You do - when they say "you get this" say "but I want this".

I have the union do that for me. Usually they've been pretty good.

Elitist.

Err.

I got a little bonus, quite happy.. About to buy roof bars and a bike racks... I am soooooo rack and roll