['Czechia' - Ed.]:
"Hey everyone, let's pretend to be a really annoying group of sixth-formers in a band and do things like having the singer prance around or the drummer take each hit with glee. People will love us for our sense of irony. Oh, and lets all wear primary coloured jumpers too".
"Hey everyone, let's pretend to be a really annoying group of sixth-formers in a band and do things like having the singer prance around or the drummer take each hit with glee. People will love us for our sense of irony. Oh, and lets all wear primary coloured jumpers too".
Seriously, fuck that act.
Hungary:
I really liked this. Not too slow, nice unfussy orchestrations, pleasing fireworks, and a pretty good voice.
Let's pretend the giant rising head thing never happened.
I really liked this. Not too slow, nice unfussy orchestrations, pleasing fireworks, and a pretty good voice.
Let's pretend the giant rising head thing never happened.
Belarus:
Minsk's foremost Doctor Who impersonator and some breakdancers. More high boots, but white this time.
Minsk's foremost Doctor Who impersonator and some breakdancers. More high boots, but white this time.
Serbia:
The sexier, edgier reboot of the Scottish Widows ad.
She's a good singer, but she's being let down by the orchestration. This needs proper power chords. And dragons. And some sense of urgency. This could be a great metal piece, but it's not. It just never takes off.
The sexier, edgier reboot of the Scottish Widows ad.
She's a good singer, but she's being let down by the orchestration. This needs proper power chords. And dragons. And some sense of urgency. This could be a great metal piece, but it's not. It just never takes off.
Belgium:
Love the big drums and the effort the drummers are making. Not so sure on the singer however. No passion in the voice or the choreography. I think this is the first time a Eurovision nation's ever entered a robot.
Love the big drums and the effort the drummers are making. Not so sure on the singer however. No passion in the voice or the choreography. I think this is the first time a Eurovision nation's ever entered a robot.
Georgia:
I think the techs have accidentally cued up the Windows 10 log-on screen for the visuals.
I'm also slightly bored, and not even the fire or the monotone backing vocals is making me give a toss. Still, at least it's not the Czech entry.
I think the techs have accidentally cued up the Windows 10 log-on screen for the visuals.
I'm also slightly bored, and not even the fire or the monotone backing vocals is making me give a toss. Still, at least it's not the Czech entry.
Australia:
Disney cosplay on stilts.
The dance beat is really incongruous with everything else. The song just seems a mix of different and disparate elements, with no real underlying theme or purpose.
I'll be kind. The physicality of the dancers is really impressive. Even if they end up looking like giant corndogs.
Disney cosplay on stilts.
The dance beat is really incongruous with everything else. The song just seems a mix of different and disparate elements, with no real underlying theme or purpose.
I'll be kind. The physicality of the dancers is really impressive. Even if they end up looking like giant corndogs.
Iceland:
Last time I watched something like this, I kept on getting the buffering symbol at key points.
No need to feel bad about being away on Saturday. For sheer showmanship, ladies and gentleman, Iceland have won Eurovision. All the Eurovisions.
Last time I watched something like this, I kept on getting the buffering symbol at key points.
No need to feel bad about being away on Saturday. For sheer showmanship, ladies and gentleman, Iceland have won Eurovision. All the Eurovisions.
Estonia:
This is great pop. He's clearly enjoying himself, and for once the arrangement fits the song well.
Oh, I'd totally be singing along to this on a motorway in high summer.
This is great pop. He's clearly enjoying himself, and for once the arrangement fits the song well.
Oh, I'd totally be singing along to this on a motorway in high summer.
Portugal:
A PVC beard. Well, it's novel. But looks like the 1970s Doctor Who artistic designers have been out in force this year. Seriously, what is up with those bird costumes? The dancer is showing a suitable amount of chest, which would normally be distracting, but I just can't take my eyes of those outfits. What are they? The Shit Silurians?
Oh, and the tune is a mediocre blend of standard Europoppy beats overlaid with the odd 'traditional' instrument.
And now he's doing a fake dying bit.
Seriously folks. This is why Eurovision has a reputation.
A PVC beard. Well, it's novel. But looks like the 1970s Doctor Who artistic designers have been out in force this year. Seriously, what is up with those bird costumes? The dancer is showing a suitable amount of chest, which would normally be distracting, but I just can't take my eyes of those outfits. What are they? The Shit Silurians?
Oh, and the tune is a mediocre blend of standard Europoppy beats overlaid with the odd 'traditional' instrument.
And now he's doing a fake dying bit.
Seriously folks. This is why Eurovision has a reputation.
Greece:
Opening tableau is rather pleasing. Don't often get fencing swords on Eurovision.
Giant White Ball Bonus Activated!
The song isn't great, but the staging, the dresses, the choreography all fits the music well in a pleasant, cohesive, and dreamlike way. The Yin to Iceland's Yang, perhaps.
The TLDR: it's all rather lovely.
Opening tableau is rather pleasing. Don't often get fencing swords on Eurovision.
Giant White Ball Bonus Activated!
The song isn't great, but the staging, the dresses, the choreography all fits the music well in a pleasant, cohesive, and dreamlike way. The Yin to Iceland's Yang, perhaps.
The TLDR: it's all rather lovely.
San Marino:
Catchy beat, easy lyrics ('Na na na; na na na; na na na), fun disco staging, but the lead singer is playing the role of creepy brothel owner perfectly and I think we should down our drinks and leave.
Catchy beat, easy lyrics ('Na na na; na na na; na na na), fun disco staging, but the lead singer is playing the role of creepy brothel owner perfectly and I think we should down our drinks and leave.
FFS:
No. No. No.
But at least you aren't the Czechs.
Quote:
If you're feeling lonely, we can take it slowly
No. No. No.
But at least you aren't the Czechs.
Well, the Kern verdict is either Hungary or Estonia.
But Iceland have won Eurovision forever.
But Iceland have won Eurovision forever.
Worth everything for "The Shit Silurians!"
BBC4 just fell off the air. Probably in disgust over Czechia getting through.
Kern wrote:
Iceland:
Last time I watched something like this, I kept on getting the buffering symbol at key points.
Last time I watched something like this, I kept on getting the buffering symbol at key points.
And here we go again for another Eurosemi!
The EBU ident is always the highlight of this farrago.
The EBU ident is always the highlight of this farrago.
Aremnia:
Ooo, that was good.
Ooo, that was good.
Ireland:
That was good too. I think the staging kind of detracted from it. But, y'know, Eurovision.
That was good too. I think the staging kind of detracted from it. But, y'know, Eurovision.
Moldova:
Again, very listenable with a good song and vocals. Seriously guys, if the only thing I can be snarky about is the whole woman-tracing-shapes-in-sand thing that was big on Youtube 8 years ago, I'm might as well stop now.
Again, very listenable with a good song and vocals. Seriously guys, if the only thing I can be snarky about is the whole woman-tracing-shapes-in-sand thing that was big on Youtube 8 years ago, I'm might as well stop now.
Switzerland:
Oh hello.
And the song's pretty decent too.
I'm really struggling for things to say now. Maybe this is all down to the fact that Iceland have already won?
Oh hello.
And the song's pretty decent too.
I'm really struggling for things to say now. Maybe this is all down to the fact that Iceland have already won?
Latvia:
Double bass! Great singing voice. Fun, catchy tune. Atmospheric and low-key visuals.
Stylistically very different to the previous acts, yet still charming and listenable . Oh God, who will rid me of this parade of acceptable acts cease? You're doing Eurovision wrong!
Double bass! Great singing voice. Fun, catchy tune. Atmospheric and low-key visuals.
Stylistically very different to the previous acts, yet still charming and listenable . Oh God, who will rid me of this parade of acceptable acts cease? You're doing Eurovision wrong!
Romania:
Oh, it's Missy!
This is more like it. Gloomy graveyards settings. Goths. Fireworks. Masked dancers. BATS! FUCKING BATS!
And yet the music isn't objectionable or poorly orchestrated or anything that would make me switch station if it came on the radio.
Oh, it's Missy!
This is more like it. Gloomy graveyards settings. Goths. Fireworks. Masked dancers. BATS! FUCKING BATS!
And yet the music isn't objectionable or poorly orchestrated or anything that would make me switch station if it came on the radio.
Denmark:
Sexy school girl vibe? Something's visible through that blouse.
Plinky-plonky tune. Check.
Optimistic lyrics about love for everyone. Check.
Swinging backing singers. Check.
This is more Eurovisiony. But still not offensive. They'd be in for a shot at the victory, had Iceland not gone and won.
Sexy school girl vibe? Something's visible through that blouse.
Plinky-plonky tune. Check.
Optimistic lyrics about love for everyone. Check.
Swinging backing singers. Check.
This is more Eurovisiony. But still not offensive. They'd be in for a shot at the victory, had Iceland not gone and won.
Sweden:
Oh hello.
Good understated staging.
Unexpected Gospel interlude!
Excellent song. My favourite so far.
Oh hello.
Good understated staging.
Unexpected Gospel interlude!
Excellent song. My favourite so far.
Austria:
Good vocals.
Again, minimalist but effective staging. Song isn't doing much for me musically, but I 'm struggling to actually fault it in any way.
Shit, this is the hardest Eurosemi ever.
Good vocals.
Again, minimalist but effective staging. Song isn't doing much for me musically, but I 'm struggling to actually fault it in any way.
Shit, this is the hardest Eurosemi ever.
Croatia:
Oooo, trippy tunnel opening. Bonus marks for the dry ice.
Earnest movements.
Angels! GOLD PLATED ANGELS! Gold plated angels with slightly-too-tight trousers!
Utterly unmemorable song, mind. But this is more like it.
Oooo, trippy tunnel opening. Bonus marks for the dry ice.
Earnest movements.
Angels! GOLD PLATED ANGELS! Gold plated angels with slightly-too-tight trousers!
Utterly unmemorable song, mind. But this is more like it.
Malta:
Filmed live from a Rhino-Hero tower!
Dancers pretending to swim!
The chorus is, at least, memorable. But I think the verses just aren't working. Perhaps they're taking it too slowly, or not handling the shifts in tempo/mood particularly well?
Filmed live from a Rhino-Hero tower!
Dancers pretending to swim!
The chorus is, at least, memorable. But I think the verses just aren't working. Perhaps they're taking it too slowly, or not handling the shifts in tempo/mood particularly well?
Kern wrote:
hardest Eurosemi ever.
Obvious title.
Lithuania:
Hello.
If we're supposed to be running wild, running with the lions, we'd be doing it far faster than this. Also no sense of passion in his singing. I think you're just going through the motions and just want to get the business over with so you can go to the supermarket.
Hello.
If we're supposed to be running wild, running with the lions, we'd be doing it far faster than this. Also no sense of passion in his singing. I think you're just going through the motions and just want to get the business over with so you can go to the supermarket.
Russia:
Clever staging. Thought they were mirrors but screens. Surprisingly effective.
Singing in a box with water pouring down the front, less so. Yes, we get the visual metaphor. But the artist is carrying all of the performance himself. Very impressed.
Clever staging. Thought they were mirrors but screens. Surprisingly effective.
Singing in a box with water pouring down the front, less so. Yes, we get the visual metaphor. But the artist is carrying all of the performance himself. Very impressed.
Albania:
Flames. Ominous drumming. Random chanting. Black and gold flowing dress. I don't know what this song is about, but I think someone's about to get sacrificed. Painfully.
Flames. Ominous drumming. Random chanting. Black and gold flowing dress. I don't know what this song is about, but I think someone's about to get sacrificed. Painfully.
Norway:
'Spirit in the sky'. But not that one.
Norwegian yodelling!
Giant polygonal reindeer!
Um. They're having fun. I guess.
'Spirit in the sky'. But not that one.
Norwegian yodelling!
Giant polygonal reindeer!
Um. They're having fun. I guess.
The Netherlands:
Oh, this is a good ballad. I think they should have kept the staging with just him and the baby grand, because the flash of light and the orb promised much but didn't go anywhere.
I liked it.
Oh, this is a good ballad. I think they should have kept the staging with just him and the baby grand, because the flash of light and the orb promised much but didn't go anywhere.
I liked it.
North Macedonia:
We're supposed to be proud, to raise our voice and shout it loudly, and that's all very well and good but this is a funereal dirge. Could have done so much more with this.
We're supposed to be proud, to raise our voice and shout it loudly, and that's all very well and good but this is a funereal dirge. Could have done so much more with this.
Azerbaijan:
Robots! Robots with lasers! Yes! It's taken 18 songs but we've finally got something worthy of Eurovision.
"She is a killer with the freaking perfume". Quality lyrics too.
Robots! Robots with lasers! Yes! It's taken 18 songs but we've finally got something worthy of Eurovision.
"She is a killer with the freaking perfume". Quality lyrics too.
Well, that's our lot.
Far too many non-objectionable acts made for a rather disappointingly dull competition. I just need to find the big 5s clips then I'll be done for this year as I won't be able to watch the final. But there's no point, because Iceland ran away with the prize a long time ago.
Giphy "eurovision"":
https://media3.giphy.com/media/Angrk3U9gq8OQ/giphy-loop.mp4
Far too many non-objectionable acts made for a rather disappointingly dull competition. I just need to find the big 5s clips then I'll be done for this year as I won't be able to watch the final. But there's no point, because Iceland ran away with the prize a long time ago.
Giphy "eurovision"":
https://media3.giphy.com/media/Angrk3U9gq8OQ/giphy-loop.mp4
Kern wrote:
The Netherlands:
Oh, this is a good ballad. I think they should have kept the staging with just him and the baby grand, because the flash of light and the orb promised much but didn't go anywhere.
I liked it.
Oh, this is a good ballad. I think they should have kept the staging with just him and the baby grand, because the flash of light and the orb promised much but didn't go anywhere.
I liked it.
Apparantly we are by far the top favouriten which will probably result in dissapointment
Last week there were already discussions on which city would be allowed to host it.
Not heard it yet but I want Iceland to win.
Make. It. Stop.
Just turned it on. Norway were brilliant
UK guy was brilliant.
Nil points, here we come!
Nil points, here we come!
I think the Uk chap is smashing. He looks like Michael Ball has shrunk back to his teens and gone on Eurovision. It’s a catchy tune, though. A solid nil pointer.
Mimi wrote:
Hmmm
Iceland, right?
Bananas