TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
ISWYDT
Shouldn't that be in the 'TAXED' thread?
The Guardian OBO coverage was discussing Shane Warne and his recent exit from the World Series of Poker, which led one reader to suggest something:
Quote:
Erik Petersen assures us "Maybe for a future World Series of Poker, they could invite some English batsmen. It would be interesting to hear the explanation after Pietersen, having won most of the chips on the table, bets everything on a hand that includes a two of clubs, a five of hearts and a bill from the bar that he mistakes for a card.
'I'm aggressive, and I don't necessarily understand the rules,' he says. 'That's just how I play poker. Don't change me.'"
'I'm aggressive, and I don't necessarily understand the rules,' he says. 'That's just how I play poker. Don't change me.'"
Quote:
Chris Riley, London, TMS inbox: "Talk of Andrew Flintoff and his brother Fred reminds me of a friend, who was watching a Grand Prix with his girlfriend. She was surprised that there were two sets of racing brothers - Michael and Ralf obviously, but also Rubens and his brother Barry Chello."
Just saw this on the beeb, not our riles is it?
And he's talking about Ange! 
It only took me half an hour to catch up with the commentary
Cock. 
Actually, I thought it was Fizzy and Barry Cello.
Actually, I thought it was Fizzy and Barry Cello.
Ange wrote:
Cock.
Actually, I thought it was Fizzy and Barry Cello.
Actually, I thought it was Fizzy and Barry Cello.
You should email them and correct this injustice.
Already on it.
England 126-0 at lunch. 
One Australian broken. Only another 10 to go.
How on earth did Mitchell Johnson get into the squad? Surely the Aussies must have better quickies than this? Or maybe the ECB have paid for his girlfriend and mum to come over.
Morte wrote:
How on earth did Mitchell Johnson get into the squad? Surely the Aussies must have better quickies than this? Or maybe the ECB have paid for his girlfriend and mum to come over.
He was good in the last test.
One bad session doesnt make him a bad player
...but the only way to describe that particular session would be 'Harmisonesque'. It was really that bad.
nickachu wrote:
He was good in the last test.
He wasn't great, but much better compared to today.
Morte wrote:
How on earth did Mitchell Johnson get into the squad? Surely the Aussies must have better quickies than this? Or maybe the ECB have paid for his girlfriend and mum to come over.
I bet the conversation on the flight would be interesting.
Cook out before reaching a century. Somehow, I saw this coming.
Riles wrote:
Cook out before reaching a century. Somehow, I saw this coming.
Yes, me too, but we thought it'd be coming a lot sooner. Like at half eleven.
Bopara bamboozled - bring back Bell!
Pah this is the man you want.
A fine figure of a man.
Oh and I'm not kidding, I'd rather have Key in the side than Pietersen.
A fine figure of a man.
Oh and I'm not kidding, I'd rather have Key in the side than Pietersen.
Reminds me of a couple of the all time great sledges.
Shane Warne asks the slightly overweight batsman Ranatunga what it would take to tempt him out of his crease.
Ian Healy: "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
Shane Warne and Daryl Cullinan:
Warne: "I've been waiting two years to humiliate you again."
Cullinan: "Looks like you spent it eating."
Shane Warne asks the slightly overweight batsman Ranatunga what it would take to tempt him out of his crease.
Ian Healy: "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
Shane Warne and Daryl Cullinan:
Warne: "I've been waiting two years to humiliate you again."
Cullinan: "Looks like you spent it eating."
One of my favourites is Mark Waugh and Jimmy Ormond in 2001:
MW: "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
JO: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family."
Who was it who responded to jibes about his weight with 'because everytime I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit'?
MW: "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
JO: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family."
Who was it who responded to jibes about his weight with 'because everytime I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit'?
myp wrote:
One of my favourites is Mark Waugh and Jimmy Ormond in 2001:
MW: "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
JO: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family."
MW: "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
JO: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family."
Yeah, that is right up there.
Quote:
Who was it who responded to jibes about his weight with 'because everytime I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit'?
Glenn McGrath was on the receiving end from Eddo Brandes. Apparently the rest of the Aussie team collapsed in hysterics.
Yessssssssssss. A captain's innings there, Straussy.
Rod Marsh: "How's your wife – and my kids?"
Ian Botham: "The wife's fine. The kids are retarded."
Javed Miandad to Merv Hughes: "You are just a fat bus conductor." - A few balls later Hughes got Miandad out, and ran past shouting "Tickets please!"
Bowler to Viv Richards, who was playing and missing. "For Gods sake Viv, it is red, round and weighs five ounces." Richards smashed the next ball out of the ground and into a river. "You know what it looks like, go and fetch it."
Michael Holding, after giving David Boon a working over. "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
The lesser known (and less talented) brother of Mark and Steve Waugh was greeted after he played and missed with "Mate, are you fucking adopted"
Freddie Flintoff sledging Tino Best when he was playing defensive strokes gave us
Ian Botham: "The wife's fine. The kids are retarded."
Javed Miandad to Merv Hughes: "You are just a fat bus conductor." - A few balls later Hughes got Miandad out, and ran past shouting "Tickets please!"
Bowler to Viv Richards, who was playing and missing. "For Gods sake Viv, it is red, round and weighs five ounces." Richards smashed the next ball out of the ground and into a river. "You know what it looks like, go and fetch it."
Michael Holding, after giving David Boon a working over. "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
The lesser known (and less talented) brother of Mark and Steve Waugh was greeted after he played and missed with "Mate, are you fucking adopted"
Freddie Flintoff sledging Tino Best when he was playing defensive strokes gave us
God, england are useless.
nickachu wrote:
God, england are useless.
Nothing like cricket to bring out the all-or-nothing mentality.
"We're brilliant!!!"... "now we're rubbish!!!"... "oh we're brilliant again!!!"
Seriously, give it a break. Pietersen is still the best natural batsman England have and dropping him for a more 'reliable' (ie. only gets out in "acceptable" ways) veteran is stupid. Mitchell Johnson is one of the best young pace bowling prospects around, in any country, and dropping him for anyone on the strength of a couple of bad games would be stupid. Did you see what he did to South Africa recently?
We're ok, we'll have good days and bad days. Any given day doesn't change anything that much.
Good and bad days?
Most of the days are bad with a large amount of luck..... drawing the last test for example.
The batting today looks like it wasnt great apart from the openers and straus has held it together.
Pieterson, yes he's a good batsman, but how many times are we going to say, "Yeah he's great, but gets out in stupid ways". He shouldn't be getting out in stupid ways, we can't keep making excuses for him.
Most of the days are bad with a large amount of luck..... drawing the last test for example.
The batting today looks like it wasnt great apart from the openers and straus has held it together.
Pieterson, yes he's a good batsman, but how many times are we going to say, "Yeah he's great, but gets out in stupid ways". He shouldn't be getting out in stupid ways, we can't keep making excuses for him.
nickachu wrote:
Pieterson, yes he's a good batsman, but how many times are we going to say, "Yeah he's great, but gets out in stupid ways". He shouldn't be getting out in stupid ways, we can't keep making excuses for him.
He scores a lot of runs playing the way he does... his record says he doesn't need any excuses making for him.
As for the good days v bad days thing, my scorecard says it's 3 of each so far in the series, maybe 4 bad v 2 good at a push. And of course we drubbed the West Indies twice before this series. And need I remind you that at this stage last time the Aussies visited we had taken one drubbing and were looking like getting the usual "4-0 with one saved-by-rain" outcome? Yes, I probably do need to.
Pietersen is thick as pig shit and puts his own glory first without any thought of the good of the team. Here's a bloke who believes himself to be god's gift to batting but every County he's left have been glad to see the back of the twat. Fuck him.
It comes to something when even Blo'ers was calling his inning 'irresponsible'.
It comes to something when even Blo'ers was calling his inning 'irresponsible'.
Morte wrote:
It comes to something when even Blo'ers was calling his inning 'irresponsible'.
Blowers started a sentence today talking about Mitchell Johnson and stopped half-way through to talk about pork pie; it's hard to give any credence to anything that antiquated old gibbon has to say to be honest.
And as for the first part, you do realise that when Pietersen "gets his glory" then it is good for England too, right? Every batter tries to get as many runs as they can, Pietersen is no different... it's just his approach to getting them that is putting sand into everyone's vaginas. His record shows that he gets a lot of runs at test level, and that England would be a poorer team without him. That really is all that matters.
I dont think they'd be a THAT much poorer team without him,it'd probably put less pressure on colly to stay in or flintoff to be explosive if he wasnt there getting out with reasonably low scores.
Pietersen's last 6 tests (including the current one), he has 383 runs at an average of 47.875. ZOMG what low scores he must be getting!!!!
How dare you insult Blo'ers. You are a disgrace sir, A disgrace I say.
/slaps disgrace across face with glove
I say good day sir.
/slaps disgrace across face with glove
I say good day sir.
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
Pietersen's last 6 tests (including the current one), he has 383 runs at an average of 47.875. ZOMG what low scores he must be getting!!!!
If he wasnt such a twat those scores would be higher...
And the west indies didnt give a fuck about those tests... that's why we won that series.
nickachu wrote:
And the west indies didnt give a fuck about those tests... that's why we won that series.
Ah I see... the old "it doesn't fit my argument so it never happened" school of reasoning.
As for Pietersen's scores, yes, it wasn't a particularly great spell of form for him... yet he still averaged the best part of 48, more than respectable. Surely he is allowed to be merely "good" for occasional spells without people calling him crap and wanting to recall fat has-beens to take his place? England haven't had a better test match batsman than him since the days of David Gower.
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
England haven't had a better test match batsman than him since the days of David Gower.
He may have a massively inflated ego, and rub people up the wrong way (plus not being English probably doesn't help), but he's a brilliant, innovative batsman and he'd get into any Test side in the world.With the flak he gets, I wouldn't blame him for giving up on England and going to play IPL every year for some easy cash. People will then appreciate how good he was.
I'd like to see Pietersen bowl a bit more. He could be a genuine all rounder, if his bowling was given half a chance. Don't know if its the team or him stopping that happen - remember he was a spin bowler before he decided to develop his batting to give himself a change of playing for the Saffas (as he couldnt get through the quota system as a bowler).
For other aggressive and talented England batsmen who could have been genuine all rounders which would have compensated for their occassional failings with the bat but werent allowed to bowl for England despite being recognised county bowlers (...and breathe), see Graham Hick.
For other aggressive and talented England batsmen who could have been genuine all rounders which would have compensated for their occassional failings with the bat but werent allowed to bowl for England despite being recognised county bowlers (...and breathe), see Graham Hick.
Pietersen has said himself in interviews before that he thinks his bowing is rank and would love to bat against himself all day long.
myp wrote:
Pietersen has said himself in interviews before that he thinks his bowing is rank and would love to bat against himself all day long.
Chicken and Egg though isnt it. Never bowls, never practices, loses the skill, so never bowls.
If he's bowling with eggs at chickens, it's no wonder he's rubbish.
myp wrote:
If he's bowling with eggs at chickens, it's no wonder he's rubbish.
I can't help but think he'd still be better than Panesar, with this strategy
Riles wrote:
I can't help but think he'd still be better than Panesar, with this strategy
Yeah, he'd get an awesome amount of variation in bounce if he used hard-boiled. I'd like to see chickens play with more straight bats, though; they're always playing across the line.
myp wrote:
Riles wrote:
I can't help but think he'd still be better than Panesar, with this strategy
Yeah, he'd get an awesome amount of variation in bounce if he used hard-boiled. I'd like to see chickens play with more straight bats, though; they're always playing across the line.
Suffice to say, I think he'd poach a few wickets. Although even with an egg being chucked at him, Ponting would scramble a few away for four.
Ian Bell gets another century for Warwickshire, while Bopara flounders around for 18 for England.
I bowled at a chicken once... got him out for a duck
PM me if you need that joke explaining to you.
Oh yeah, and one of the batters to be able to bowl respectable spin would be a huge benefit to the balance of the English side, and Pietersen is the obvious candidate... but as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but it, erm, doesn't lay eggs as well as a chicken?
PM me if you need that joke explaining to you.
Oh yeah, and one of the batters to be able to bowl respectable spin would be a huge benefit to the balance of the English side, and Pietersen is the obvious candidate... but as the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but it, erm, doesn't lay eggs as well as a chicken?
TheAlbin0Kid wrote:
Oh yeah, and one of the batters to be able to bowl respectable spin would be a huge benefit to the balance of the English side, and Pietersen is the obvious candidate
Paul Collingwood says "Hi!"
Of course, Graeme Swann opens the batting for Notts' one day side.
Those centuries are good, i hope they get a millenium soon. Good bat choice this year.
Morte wrote:
Pietersen is thick as pig shit and puts his own glory first without any thought of the good of the team. Here's a bloke who believes himself to be god's gift to batting but every County he's left have been glad to see the back of the twat. Fuck him.
It comes to something when even Blo'ers was calling his inning 'irresponsible'.
It comes to something when even Blo'ers was calling his inning 'irresponsible'.
He's fit though innit.
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