Be Excellent To Each Other

"Pizz off, roz beef."
/

You need no eggs for shortcrust pastry, CG - just flour, bit of butter/margarine and some water (and a pinch of salt, though not vital)

recipe

thank woo

Yeah, it's fairly impressive.
If you've got a card for your DS, then it's worth (the download... No, wait, fuck - Ed).

Ooh, and cool hands work pastry better, don't forget.

You can of course use shortcrust for both the base and top of the pie, but puff pastry is no nice on the to of a pie...

You can make cornish pasties with shortcrust, too.

OK, enough babbling.

Ah, the weekend drinking starts early.

Thank you Mam
\

Cool Hand Luke = the most up-lifting AND depressing film ever. Like watching The Shawshank Redemption in reverse whilst a lovely plate of fish starts to repeat on you unpleasantly.

Oh, hehe, that should have read 'puff pastry is so nice on top of a pie.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, my typing is atrocious.

I think the appropriate phrase goes along the lines of you telling me that I should try before I buy.

I'll have a look.

Though I now posess in my fridge and cupboard:

1 jar of vegemite
1 jar of marmite
an apple
3 cup-a-soups.

I would challenge it to find a recipe for that combo.

If you mix the vegemite and marmite together, can you create anti-matter?

"First eat your apple".

Actually it'd probably just be dark matter, hahaha!

Marmite for bread, vegemite for toast - this is the way it should be and the two shall never be mixed in any unholy alliance of yeast extracts!

Marmite makes better stocks, too.

I have just been to Tesco (for the apple) but I may pop to Iceland or Asda in a bit to get some proper shopping in and then give the cooking guide a go.

Fun fact: I'm now result #5 if you search google for 'eating cheaply'.

You're #7 for me, you rotten liar.

7th for .co.uk

5th for .com then, y'gits.

Edit: Actually it's 5th on both for me. Odd.

My local co-op sells Marmite breadsticks and rice cakes!

The breadsticks taste exactly like breadsticks. They taste exactly not like Marmite. The rice cakes taste like Marmite, but not in any good way really. They just taste like slightly yeasty rice cakes.

2/10, must try harder.

Tip: Buy normal ricecakes and spread marmite on them. Who'd bother buying flavoured ones? Tsch.

I haven't had rice cakes in ages - I like them

*adds to shopping list*

Iceland? Thats a long way to go for your shopping etc etcoh God, kill me now.

I like them both, as does my cat.

My wife, however, insists that Marmite is the foulest tasting thing ever.

http://jamesoff.net/site/fun/random-recipe-generator/

Fun things to eat and do!

It's definitely random alright. How do I grill Soy Sauce?

What's not fun about that?

I have a newer version in the works that is a bit more sensible about what you can do with different ingredients, but it's not Ready yet.

I like the simplicity of this one. Everyone can make something when the only ingredients are Soy Sauce and Tomato Ketchup.

Edit - Ok I think Mince á la Mince is taking things too far.

cod liver oil Surprise
Serves 1
You will need:

* 130ml cod liver oil
* 4 lemons
* 3 cucumbers

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. whisk the cucumbers
3. barbeque the lemons
4. whisk the cod liver oil
5. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot

Hehe:

sprouts Surprise
Serves 1
You will need:

* 3 lemons
* 70g sprouts

Instructions:

1. discard the lemons
2. put the sprouts in the saucepan
3. enjoy

Delicious!

orange juice salad
Serves 2
You will need:

* 100g plain flour
* 130g beef
* 110ml vinegar
* 2 spring onions
* 100ml orange juice

Instructions:

1. slice the plain flour
2. heat the plain flour
3. heat the plain flour in the saucepan
4. bring the plain flour to the boil
5. flambe the plain flour
6. stir the plain flour
7. discard the plain flour
8. grill the vinegar
9. put the spring onions in the saucepan
10. toast the beef
11. sift the orange juice
12. go down the pub

Delicious!

I'm going to do this one right now!

pickle creme brulee
Serves 3
You will need:
120g pickle
70ml tabasco sauce
Instructions:
slice the tabasco sauce
rinse the pickle
throw it all away

I think we've hijacked this topic, somewhat.

Battered lamb chops
Serves 5
You will need:
1 spring onions
5 courgettes
4 lamb chops
1 cabbages
Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 200 C
fry the spring onions
fold in the spring onions
mix the spring onions in
blend with the spring onions
simmer the spring onions gently for 20 minutes
add one tablespoon of the spring onions
rinse the courgettes
stir-fry the lamb chops
add the lamb chops to the saucepan
flip the lamb chops
fold in the courgettes
mix the courgettes in
heat the lamb chops
defrost the cabbages
bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

I love the spring onion section at the beginning.

I hope Comical thinks these are real recipes and tries to make some of them. This one sounds particularly nutritious:

soy sauce a la pinches of salt
Serves 3
You will need:

* 1 pinches of salt
* 10ml soy sauce

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. microwave the pinches of salt
3. stir the pinches of salt
4. defrost the soy sauce
5. bake for 20 minutes and serve hot

Delicious!

lard mille feuille
Serves 4

You will need:
90g lard
90ml vinegar
1 pinches of salt

Instructions:
sift the pinches of salt
fry the vinegar
grill the lard
throw it all away

Delicious!

I know what I'm having for dinner tonight! (Dominos pizza.)

Chippy tea for me tonight!

Steak pudding, chips & gravy or Haddock chips and curry sauce?

How about a nice bit of cod?

I'm Brian, and so's my wife.

It's not that I disliked them, I just... was unimpressed. The rice cakes are good rice cakes, but they weren't sufficiently overpoweringly Marmite-y for me And the breadsticks were completely tasteless, or mine were anyway. I even gave a couple to a marmite-hating housemate, and they found they didn't even slightly taste of Marmite.

Marmite.

Over fished and not as tasty.

Unless you mean CoD4, and Micro Chips!!! LOLAPOLUZA!!!

I like the hint of Marmite they both have. The bread sticks are variable though. I think I've had some packets where the Marmite has been almost not there at all.

Oooh, I love Cool Hand Luke. Such an excellent film, it's been one of my favourites since an atheist RE teacher who took my class three months before GCSE (after we'd had about eight months of cover or no teachers at all) watched it with us because he liked it lots, and exam practice could "get stuffed".

I learned more from those two lessons and the casual chat we had with him about the film afterwards than I did from about seven years of Mark's Gospel and WHY ABORTION IS WRONG but also it's not if you read this column instead.

Hell, I like this version!

The feyonce and I just spent a good couple of minutes genuinely crying with laughter at the recipes. She even laughed so much she fell over on to the floor... and she hasn't even been drinking!

Many, many props. Fantastic work.

A long, long time ago I tried to make a Random Cocktail Generator that worked something like that. It was pretty rubbish.

I have code for a random cocktail generator somewhere. It worked okay but ran out of funny quite quickly... there seems to be only a limited amount of entertainment in different arrangements of "mix this drink with that one."

I do have a random extreme sport generator and a random excuse generator, I'll resurrect those soon too.

Why won't you resurrect it now?

Because I have to reconstruct my lawyer's mistress.

"Insert boob A into slot B..."

If you think that's how it works, that explains your lack of offspring.

Fine fine, let's agree to disagree and go have a game of (consults list) "Full-contact marinated tennis"