infinity bananas.

You rock hard.

I assume you called him a cunt out loud, rather than in your head, of course.

How did he respond?

he walked off looking orange and puzzled.

infinity bananas.

You rock hard.

I assume you called him a cunt out loud, rather than in your head, of course.

How did he respond?

That would be an edit by Chinny subsequent to my post, tossface.

How was I meant to know that, wankweasel?

You're even like this when Craster isn't around. I am sensing a pattern.

wuv you, mali.

You're even like this when Craster isn't around. I am sensing a pattern.

Does it suddenly turn into Tolstoy?

Couldn't you have twatted him instead?

Yes it was Littlejohn. He looked at me, I looked at him, and then I called him a cunt.

That's one lifetime ambition achived.

Several thousand bananas for that, I'd say. It would have been even funnier if you'd bummed him. Littlejohn wouldn't like that!*

(* Unless of course his years of writing spittle-flecked homophobic commentary are merely the result of a deep-rooted need to deny the very feelings stirring within his corpulent wrongfaced soul.)

Well, it's a bit more head on than Will Self'seffort.

That's a bit harsh - he only said he doesn't like being tickled.

He looks 1000x more smug and shit eating in real life. And that is really saying something.

Also, very orange. Nice suit mind, but the facists always did have the best fashion sense no matter where you go.

I keep telling you people, but you won't listen.

You actually conjured up a mental image of Richard Littlejohn, and of all the things you could have possibly thought of, you thought about giving him one up the arse?

Wow.

Am working at a conference in London. As I walked into the hotel at 8am who should step out in front of me, his face oozing pure right wing bile?

Yes it was Littlejohn. He looked at me, I looked at him, and then I called him a cunt.

That's one lifetime ambition achived.

Sadly rather than engaging me in debate, he walked off looking orange and puzzled. I may not have said it loud enough. Or he may just be used to it.

How many bananas/BETEO points for that? Have you insulted a hateful right wing bastard?

LITTLEJOHN: No it doesn't turn into Tolstoy. I don't set out to be Tolstoy. It is a much more complex book than that.

SELF:Than Tolstoy?

[..]

LITTLEJOHN: You are not still on heroin are you?

the absolutely abhorrent Gary Bushell.

Well, it's a bit more head on than Will Self'seffort.

Best I can do is from when I was gigging. A promoter rang me up to ask for permission to use one of my lines, as he was doing a gig in a hotel in Glasgow. Mariah Carey was staying at the hotel - presumably playing at the SECC or something - and she and members of her entourage had asked for tickets to the comedy gig.

She wasn't that amused when the promoter said "Mariah, I believe you went to a vocal coach for advice on your singing. Here is some free advice. Pick a note and fucking stick to it!"

That were great that were.
Also: I always seem to get Gary Bushell and Littlejohn mixed up.

Foolish man. If he'd be nice, he could been sitting where Nick Cannon is now (with a huge grin on his face as Mariah spins on the end of his willy, all delicious and sexy [Mariah, not Nick Cannon's willy])

Mariah Carey? Sexy? She dresses like a cheap hooker and sounds like a fire alarm.

Apparently today's guest chairman for the conference is Micheal Buerk. He's safe though because I quite like him.

What, safe from having you creeping up behind him and whispering 'cunt'?

Phwwoooar!

Which of her singles was that?