Mine? It's a stupid, boring and not very funny story.

So I shall tell it.

It all started way back in my college years (cue wavy lined, blurry fade). There was a group of us that sat around in the corner of the college social room, largely unpopular and generally a bit odd. We were given the nickname "The wifeswappers" which utterly confused and annoyed us because none of us actually got laid.

Anyway, we sat around the vending machines and made anyone that tried to get a drink feel uncomfortable, not deliberately, we just had that effect. Whilst hard up one day I tried to put all of my loose change in to the vending machine only to discover that putting a penny in it blocked it up. All money that went in afterwards failed to drop to the coin slot.

Further to this discovery I found out that jamming a knife or fork down the coin return dished out all the lost cash. So, to fund my newly found drinking habit one day I put a penny in to the can machine at the start of the day. Throughout the day people put 50p in, a pound in, or whatever and got nothing in return. At the end of the day I returned with my trusty knife, jammed it down the coin slot and pocketed the money.

One of my friends called me "The Grinch that stole the money from the drinks machine", I was looking for a nick to use on IRC at the time and thought that sounded ok.

So a rather un-interesting tale I'm afraid. For the sake of comedy, if you like, you can pretend I was raped as a child by a man dressed as Santa Claus and have since then had a hatred for the season.