DayZ: My Story.
It's sunny. Unbearably so for what appears, judging from the redish brown leaves on the trees, to be early autumn. I sit by the coast occassionally waving at the sea or flicking it the V's. I don't know where I've been but I know I must have been involved in a horrific car accident as my neck is completely immobilised and I can only move around with my head locked into a fixed glare directly in front of me.
Eventually the neck brace must have just fallen off without me noticing though, as I then suddenly regain the function of my neck.
I wander slowly to the nearest structure I can see. It is a small outhouse by the sea surrounded by containers. The sounds of the wind and the waves lapping the shore can still be heard off to my left. Focusing really really hard with my telescopic eyes I spy a single figure standing in the road. He appears not to be moving but he is standing upright looking away from me. I run over to the outhouse quickly to avoid detection even though the figure is about 500 yards away.
Inside the sparse shack I find a motor cycle helmet which I plop onto my head. It's hot but I figure you can't have too much protection around your soft mushy brains when in zombie infested country.
I find nothing else and leave. I sit on the floor. I stand up. I lie down. I roll about and make the grass flatten under my weight. I ninja my way around and take my helmet on and off. I punch the air. I punch a building. I then feel very hungry so I think I better move on.
I walk out onto the highway. It's utterly deserted. No signs of wreakage, noises or wildlife (apart from a few birds overhead). All apart from one lonely man still standing in the road bolt upright.
I squint really hard to take a look at him from the middle of the road. He's actually moving slightly looking in front of him. Actually, no, he's turned to look this way. And now he's running. Full pelt. Towards me. I survey the scene and notice that there's actually no other buildings nearby. A large structure about a mile away is the nearest refuge. There's a grassy hill blocking my view forwards so I decide to take a look over the top of the hill. The man is still running.
I finally reach the top of the hill and see a farm about 300 yards away. I'm tired from the climb up the hill. The man isn't. He is chewing on my leg. I try to run but he's broken my leg. It takes a surprisingly long time for the man to eat me. I bleed. I bleed a lot. I crawl for safety but the man is going nowhere.
The man was still chewing on my as I exit the game.
I restart on a new server. My leg is still broken. The graphics are weird and blurry. I eventually find myself under 3 inches of sea water and, upon finding the correct key, I just needed to stand up.
The menu does not allow me to respawn. I crawl out of the sea for ten minutes.
I change server. My leg is still broken. The option for respawn shaded out. I press all the keys; one at a time and then together.
I change server. Same problem.
I change server's again and again. My leg is still broken with no way of respawning.
I'm not having fun.