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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 15:12 
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Prince of Fops

Joined: 14th May, 2009
Posts: 1616
Zardoz wrote:
I'm shoving sultanas down my ureathra, if that helps.


don't forget what my mum used to tell me - many sultanas have spiders growing inside them, ready to burst out.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 15:49 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 25th Jul, 2010
Posts: 8974
Instructions unclear; urethra now full of spiders.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 15:50 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 42772
Location: West Yorkshire
Mr Russell wrote:
markg wrote:
He's weighing his bollocks now?

Aren't you?


I have.

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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 16:04 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
Posts: 5128
Bamba wrote:
Instructions unclear; urethra now full of spiders.

Whereas, thanks to my daily genital electrocution, my urethra is entirely clear of all invertebrates!


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 17:07 
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Prince of Fops

Joined: 14th May, 2009
Posts: 1616
Squirt wrote:
Bamba wrote:
Instructions unclear; urethra now full of spiders.

Whereas, thanks to my daily genital electrocution, my urethra is entirely clear of all invertebrates!


Meanwhile, one long, glossy spider's leg is gracefully uncurling itself from Z's jap's eye. It hooks into the fleshy folds of Z's perenium, securing a solid purchase to pull from. The spider yanks itself forward, the awkward bulk of its plump torso straining against Z's urethral walls. With one succulent plop, the spider bursts free, landing on the bed. It shakes itself free of Z juice, breathes in the fresh air. Freedom. It's time for his thousands of spider buddies to come out and join him.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 17:13 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

Joined: 25th Oct, 2011
Posts: 1627
Location: Kashyyyk
Findus Fop wrote:
Squirt wrote:
Bamba wrote:
Instructions unclear; urethra now full of spiders.

Whereas, thanks to my daily genital electrocution, my urethra is entirely clear of all invertebrates!


Meanwhile, one long, glossy spider's leg is gracefully uncurling itself from Z's jap's eye. It hooks into the fleshy folds of Z's perenium, securing a solid purchase to pull from. The spider yanks itself forward, the awkward bulk of its plump torso straining against Z's urethral walls. With one succulent plop, the spider bursts free, landing on the bed. It shakes itself free of Z juice, breathes in the fresh air. Freedom. It's time for his thousands of spider buddies to come out and join him.

:Vomit:
Wasn't there something about Zardoz's inside out sleeve last week? I have a fairly worrying mental image forming now.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 17:14 
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Everybodys gilf

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 45750
Okay, okay! The electro-magic fat scales work great and the science makes perfect sense!

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 17:49 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
Cras wrote:
Okay, okay! The electro-magic fat scales work great and the science makes perfect sense!


Ha ha

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 8:14 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
Well a good weekend of tests.

45 seconds off my swim - down to 8:44 for 400m
1 min of my 5k
Ftp increase from 218 to 228 watts

Happy halstead

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 13:43 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
Using my magic scales.. I have finally dipped under 100 kilos.

I am 60 days from my big race, I don't feel ready..

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 13:46 
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Soopah red DS

Joined: 2nd Jun, 2008
Posts: 1863
If you were ready now, it would be a bit early.

Both flippant and serious, that.

Similarly, I aimed to do my long run yesterday, and baled 2 miles short of what I wanted to do (and 4 miles short of the railway station I was aiming for, too flipping far). Disappointing, and I wondered if that means I'm not really in shape. But really it's fine, marathon's not till the end of August.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 13:51 
SupaMod
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Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 62829
Location: Your Mum
JBR wrote:
Both flippant and serious, that.

Flirious!

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 14:01 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
JBR wrote:
If you were ready now, it would be a bit early.

Both flippant and serious, that.

Similarly, I aimed to do my long run yesterday, and baled 2 miles short of what I wanted to do (and 4 miles short of the railway station I was aiming for, too flipping far). Disappointing, and I wondered if that means I'm not really in shape. But really it's fine, marathon's not till the end of August.


cheers... i need to work on my swim..

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 1:41 
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chewbacca -future arc welder

Joined: 25th Oct, 2011
Posts: 1627
Location: Kashyyyk
Grim... wrote:
JBR wrote:
Both flippant and serious, that.

Flirious!

Seripant!


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 9:58 
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Lord Humongous

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 42930
Location: The erogenous zone
I survived the gym last night! First session back after my hols... tough going but still enjoyable.

To be fair, while I was away I did a lot of walking (and swimming) and didn't drink half as much as I normally do (usually go All-inclusive)

...am I growing up?

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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:52 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
Well done.

I am trying not to grow up, i just can't drink like I used to.

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 21:42 
Awesome
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Yes

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 11588
I just did some Wii Fit U but I messed up at the start so now it thinks I weigh nothing and every time I stand on the board it tells me I've put on weight.

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Always proof read carefully in case you any words out

Do some price comparison on games, DVDs, books or CDs at Find It Cheapest.com
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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 22:37 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 25th Jul, 2010
Posts: 8974
So as reliable as Kov's Magic Scale then?


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 7:58 
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Yes

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 11588
Bamba wrote:
So as reliable as Kov's Magic Scale then?

I guess it helps if you stand on the scale when it tells you to rather than stepping off at exactly that moment by mistake :)

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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:48 
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Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 8792
Location: Devon
I had a similar thing happen to me the other week, it really messed up the targets and the progress graphs etc. You'd think it would have some logic in there to prevent that, or at least a warning that the weight has changed dramatically, are you sure you are doing right?

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Where's the Kaboom? I was expecting an Earth shattering Kaboom!


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:02 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
Bamba wrote:
So as reliable as Kov's Magic Scale then?


mine are reliable, they measure weight. Just the other figures are magic

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 20:55 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
Taken a few years.


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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 21:11 
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Everybodys gilf

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 45750
Hell of a job, man. Well done.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 21:17 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
Cras wrote:
Hell of a job, man. Well done.

Cheers.

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 21:20 
SupaMod
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Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 62829
Location: Your Mum
Impressive work, sir.

You're still fuck ugly, though. Any plans to do anything about that?

;)

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 21:40 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 42772
Location: West Yorkshire
Grim... wrote:
Impressive work, sir.

You're still fuck ugly, though. Any plans to do anything about that?

;)


Gaywood and i have a solution


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 22:10 
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Fitness Nut...

Joined: 25th Sep, 2008
Posts: 18276
Location: shropshire, uk
That is scary

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MetalAngel wrote:
Kovacs: From 'unresponsive' to 'kebab' in 3.5 seconds


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 22:33 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 42772
Location: West Yorkshire
KovacsC wrote:
Taken a few years.


Very well done.

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Mr Chris wrote:
MaliA isn't just the best thing on the internet - he's the best thing ever.


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 10:25 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 25th Jul, 2010
Posts: 8974
That is some very impressive work Kov, well done.

If we're doing progress pics, I don't have any to show me as I went along; just a couple of very fat me and a recent-ish one of less fat me.

Attachment:
FB_IMG_1498468551647.jpg

Attachment:
20120416_214616.jpg

Attachment:
FB_IMG_1498468602432.jpg


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 Post subject: Re: Middle Age Spread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 10:27 
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I'm a computery guy!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 32595
Mate. You got younger. Nice work.


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